Comments on: Laser scissors!

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:03:07 +0000

Thanks for ruining my day with Cuteoverload.com. I’d never heard of that sugary sweet shitload of fuck until just now, and now I want to use those laser scissors to gouge my fucking eyes out.

I HATE EVERYONE!

PS: Yes, you deserve a book deal.

By: jason

jason — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 03:02:34 +0000

we CAN end hunger – the problem is that the warlords and corruption in the most malnourished countries dont allow implementing an adequate system of getting food to the shelves, and to their people.

By: Tommy

Tommy — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 20:26:33 +0000

I use lasers to make physics measurements. Most other uses are …. the internet

By: Tony Jaguar

Tony Jaguar — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:28:03 +0000

I dunno, I’ve got a laser pointer cock-ring, so I no longer have to lift the lid at home.

By: SanFran

SanFran — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:26:13 +0000

So, I have to admit I like the laser guide on my compound miter saw – that comes in really, really handy especially when cutting mouldings and such..

But scissors? Really? As you said listy, the ‘guide’ is attached to the problem – a shaky hand… but, the inventors of this are going to laugh all the way to the bank because nobody (except for you, of course) will ever think of that.

I wonder if they make a pair big enough to go around my neck?

By: You Just Made My List!

You Just Made My List! — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:15:43 +0000

Andra – I love you more!

Icecycle – Don’t steal my invention!

Ultimate – Why would you bother with another website? I am all you need.

Sara – I don’t know how to feel about being the new Andy Rooney, but you are right, WHERE IS MY BOOK DEAL? All these other lazy ass bloggers have them, what about me. Cuteoverload.com? What the fuck do they do? People submit photos of baby bunnies and now they have books and calendars? FUCK EVERYONE, I’M THE BEST EVER!

It’s 9:17am and I already want to start drinking.

By: Sara

Sara — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:00:20 +0000

You know what, I think Listy is the younger more foul mouthed version of Andy Rooney. Just spending your time bitching about random things and people buy your book (by the way you should have a book deal).
Of course listy knows how “new fangled things” work and doesn’t ramble quite as much.

You are OUR generations Andy Rooney and I like it.

I was getting tired of Andy Rooney anway…..and Garrison Keiller, both those coots can suck it.

By: UltimateChase

UltimateChase — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:55:25 +0000

Haha. These stupid scissors were part of a pitch I made to cracked.com a few months ago. I’m pretty sure it was rejected because they try to set a tone of calm scientific superiority in their articles and you could tell my head was about to explode when I was writing about these fucking things. Also on the list: a refridgerator with internet access, a tape dispensor with 4 USB ports.

By: icecycle66

icecycle66 — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:38:29 +0000

I too wailed and cried at the first sight of these self-fulfilling “guides”.

However, I did not think of the street lines analogy. If the lines were attached to my car it would be much less apparent that I was drunk out of my mind while speeding through school zones and church parking lots. It would be much easier on my money and my expired driver’s license if the cops weren’t able to pull me over for rapidly swerving in and out of lanes and ditches.

As horrible as the laser scissor is, the lines on the car idea is pretty good; if only everyone else’s windshields matched the perspective of the lines attached to my car to ensure they saw what I saw. This is all becoming almost too perfetc.

By: Andra

Andra — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:57:34 +0000

I love you. Please never stop entertaining me with your misery.