You just made my list!

I was all set to share my wisdom on a completely different subject when I happened upon this “featured” headline on Yahoo. I’m pretty sure this is one of the signs of the apocalypse. Please take note of how important these 5 featured headlines are. Thank god nothing else is happening in the world that might bump Kathy Griffin from the top news story of the moment. WAR IS OVER! Go grab a nurse in Times Square and totally tap dat ass!

OK, let’s ignore the fact that these Yahoo headlines make your high school newspaper look like The New York Times and focus on the reason my panties are all up in a bunch. Can it possibly be news that Kathy Griffin turned down “Dancing with the Stars?” I might, MIGHT, understand if the headline said something like “Kathy Griffin says YES to Dancing with the Stars” but no, this is a story reporting something that would barely be interesting if it HAD happened. It’s no different than a headline that reads “Tom Hanks still alive” or “Student filmmaker still working at Old Navy.” Nobody needs to know.

If I know you personally and you feel compelled to click “The reason why” link please never speak to me again.