You just made my list!

Why is it that every couple years some science program on TV has to remind me that my body is covered in harmless microscopic mites? Do I really need to know my god damn eyebrows are teeming with tiny jerks eating my dead skin cells? Stop it already, enough! Oh, and don’t forget your bed sheets and pillows are covered too!

I have to go barf. I’m sure there are mites in that too.