You just made my list!

Well, it’s my last day of vacation and I thought it would be nice to head into the weekend with a true classic. Christian Bale isn’t worthy to hold Jack Rebney’s dirty underwear! Now THIS is how to go nuts on the set! I’m so old I first saw the Winnebago Man before all this “internet” business. Yeah, I saw it on good old fashioned VHS video tape! See you losers Monday!

“It ain’t worth it. Not this shit, it ain’t fucking worth it.”

Let me get this out of the way first… There have been a few, a precious few, Digital Shorts on Saturday Night Live that I liked. However, the running theme in most of the Digital Shorts I actually enjoy is a lack of Andy Samberg’s face. Sure, “Dick in a Box” and “Lazy Sunday” were OK the first 100 times I saw them online but it’s no monkey drinking his own pee. Now THAT’S a classic!

Did you happen to see Andy’s latest masterpiece, aired on 9/13/08, “Space Olympics?” It’s textbook Samberg. The short features all of his favorite comedy tools; generically 80’s song, purposely mundane lyrics, purposely cheesy graphics, severe camera mugging and the sweet sweet odor of desperation. This constant desire to create the next “Lazy Sunday” viral video hit has to be the only reason Lorne Michaels keeps this fuzzy turd on the show.

Other than his weekly Digital Shits (zing), Andy Samberg can be seen in the background of most skits delivering hilarious lines like “Hi, how can I help you” or “Hi, can I get you something to drink” and “Hi, you have a lovely house.” Seems to me his only role on SNL is to facilitate the other performers who actually have something to do in the scene. Try this drinking game, every time Andy Samberg delivers a funny line in a skit take a drink. Sadly this will not get you drunk.

P.S. Did anyone else notice ultra-douche Guy Fieri was in the front row of last night’s show? I did, so I pressed my ass against the TV screen. I showed you Guy!

Watch this and try to convince me that it’s funny.

See the look on these kid’s faces? If you are a parent it should be your goal to prevent that look from ever appearing on your child’s face rather than giggling like a dumb ass waiting for it to happen.

I’m sure you have seen clips like these on youtube where some jerk, usually a parent, almost pisses their pants with excitement while waiting for some internet gag to scare the living shit out of some moon-faced kid who just wants to play a stupid maze game. What sadistic weirdness exists in the “brain” of a parent who gets pleasure from terrifying their child? I’m not talking about a simple BOO, these kids usually end up in tears. I want to see the follow up clips in a few years where the teen versions of these kids beat the shit out of their parents screaming “who’s in the maze now motherfucker?”

Mark this date dad, Feb 8th, 2006, it’s date your son started to fantasize about killing you in your sleep.

This guy can’t contain his excitement. You can see the exact moment this kid stopped loving his dad, right around the 00:17 mark.

Hey mom, how about spending a little more time cleaning the house and a little less time turning your kids into serial killers.

Corey really is a lucky kid, isn’t he? I realize this kid is old enough to laugh it off but I can’t believe how long his stupid mom waited for the scare. It looks like she was filming this kid for an hour before she got her chance to cackle her denim mom shorts off.