Dec 18 2008
Nothing fills me with panic quicker than not being able to find my wallet. Fear immediately overtakes me after I check all the usual wallet resting places in my home and find nothing but dust outlines of where my wallet once was. I begin to catalog everything in my wallet and fantasize about the fat turd who probably found it on the sidewalk and is currently charging porn to my credit cards. Worse than losing my credit cards is losing my collection of dumb fortune cookie fortunes that has grown over the years. Where will I turn when when I need to be reminded that I “love the nightlife” without those fortunes?
For the record, I always find my wallet eventually and have never really lost one but those 10 or 15 minutes when you think it’s gone forever is the worst feeling in the world.
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