Jun 26 2008

Your stupid, ugly Crocs!

Published by at 11:27 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

This guy is sad Am I jealous that I didn’t invent Crocs? Yes. Is that why I hate them so much? No.

If I see you wearing your Crocs it is best to guard your ass from my shoe wearing foot that is about to kick it. Why why why would anyone, including children, willingly choose to wear these in public? Are we really so bored that in order to feel alive again we need to experience the stinging humiliation of dressing like clowns in public? I hate us. Actually I hate you.

Yes, Crocs are insanely ugly and ridiculous and should be shunned for those reasons alone but the thing I really hate about them, or any fad, is that it once again proves that people are predictable followers. Just think about those idiots who will literally get in fist fights over Tickle Me Elmo or Furbies or fill in the blank. It’s this desire to blend in with the crowd and disappear that makes me want to force feed you your Crocs.

Guess what, you look like an ass in your Crocs. You don’t look cute and you don’t look “funky” and don’t even try to tell me how comfortable they are. Walking around with bags of dog shit on your feet might be the most comfortable thing ever but I still wouldn’t do it. I’m sorry if it sounds like I think I am superior to “Crocs people” but it’s only because I am.

Hey Crocs. You just made my list!

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10 comments so far

10 comments to “Your stupid, ugly Crocs!”

  1. Jackieon 17 Jul 2008 at 5:35 pm

    Thrown out of the Tour de France for doping, but guilty of a crime far worse:


  2. You Just Made My List!on 17 Jul 2008 at 5:57 pm

    “I’m not leaving this bus until someone finds my GOD DAMN FUCKING YELLOW CROCS!”

  3. […] I’ve already written about my disdain for these rubber pieces of shit but this morning’s gift from the universe had to be acknowledged. The Crocs CEO Ron “satan” Snyder had this to say, “Although we made important progress reducing costs in our manufacturing and distribution platform blah blah blah fart fart fart.” Who cares? […]

  4. Bennon 30 Sep 2008 at 6:00 am

    I can not help but point out how truly depressed the girl at the top left looks. She looks as though she is about to commit suicide. But maybe that’s a good thing, promoting such a terrible mistake like that should be punishable by death.

  5. Franceson 07 Dec 2008 at 4:02 pm

    Crocs are hideous. The baby in the photograph looks like she’s trying to hide her relief at having those horrible excuses for shoes off of her feet.

  6. […] world to know that the kids are in college and she’s ready to put on a comfortable pair of Crocs and get tipsy on 1 and a half margaritas. Oh what the hay, she might even order it with salt on the […]

  7. […] whole and I want to be there when the gator poops out little scraps of J. Crew and, ironically, Crocs. I want their families to watch as a fed up alligator grabs daddy by his fat face and drags him […]

  8. […] of “valuable” Beanie Babies collecting dust in their basement and a full assortment of Crocs waiting by the door. It’s ironic that theses decals end up making every family look exactly […]

  9. Chrissyon 31 Aug 2009 at 11:14 pm

    People who wear crocs deserve to get them caught in the escalator

  10. sim1on 11 Oct 2010 at 8:49 am

    I like how the husband has resigned himself to a life of crocery. He looks defeated and obviously it’s his wife running the show here. Why doesn’t anyone in that family have the balls to call her out on her shitty taste. And you know damn well she made him take off his favorite blue sweater and throw on a shirt and tie just to cover it up with that ugly fucking yellow sweater she ‘just picked up.’ Fuck you boring family. and did you know there’s actually a croc store on Michigan avenue. I dim’t know these was enough shit to actually take these beyond walgreens or Wal-Mart or some shit