Jan 09 2009

The FreeCreditReport.com pirate commercial!

Published by at 2:59 am under Crappy Music,Sucky TV

freecreditreport.com commercial eric violette

My complaint about the FreeCreditReport.com “Pirate” commercial is really a back-handed compliment I guess. That fucking song gets stuck in my head and hangs out in there well past its welcome. The party has cleared, the music has been turned off, I’m doing dishes and that stupid jingle is still hanging out on my brain couch. Leave already you dick!

I have every word of this commercial memorized and often find myself humming it. It used to only happen just after seeing the ad but now it will pop into my head at all hours of the day or night. Weather permitting, I ride a scooter and due to the lack of radio and my borderline OCD brain I will often have one song loop over and over in my mind for an entire 2 hour ride. Sadly I will catch myself singing “They say a man should always dress for the job he wants, so why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant…” over and over until I force another song in my head.

In case you care, which you don’t, the guy in the commercial is some Canadian singer/songwriter/actor named Eric Violette. I’m guessing poor Eric gets recognized and then promptly punched in the balls at least 4 times daily. That’s an average of 2 punches per ball, per day.

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19 comments so far

19 comments to “The FreeCreditReport.com pirate commercial!”

  1. Yubberson 09 Jan 2009 at 5:56 am

    Aside from pointing out many more jingles I fear will only get stuck in anyone’s head who reads this.. I’m going to bow down in good graces and simply note: This was a funny fuckin’ post!

    “That’s an average of 2 punches per ball, per day”. Hahaehaehaehee.e….haheahe…

  2. Peteon 09 Jan 2009 at 7:40 am

    Actually, I like those commercials when I see them. I like how despite whatever’s going on, the band (although dressed for whatever occasion it may be) seems to be letting you in on a joke. I don’t watch enough TV to let anything stick in my head too long. I never saw the Sarah McLachlan thing until I clicked the link yesterday, and I don’t recall seeing these jingles since like, superbowl time last year. Listen to more music, turn off the TV!

  3. AngrySaron 09 Jan 2009 at 7:41 am

    The worst Free Credit Report ad they have, IMO, is that one where the guy’s riding his bike & singing that horrid “F to the R to E to the E…” GACK!! I don’t think I have never seen the thing to the end. I just hear the beginning and my eye starts to twitch.
    Oh, and the one making fun of Renaissance Fests pisses me off. My viking ancestors will find you, and hurt you, FCR.com. 😛

  4. whiskeyjackon 09 Jan 2009 at 8:34 am

    I despise all that is and can be of this commericial raping of music. I wish all the bad things in life to happen to them and them alone, and that they never know a moments rest. They suck and I wish the end of all things on them! CURSE YOU! HATE!

  5. Jessaon 09 Jan 2009 at 9:59 am

    Eric Violette is a singer/songwriter…however, He is not the one singing on those commercials. I read a “news” story a while back about it. He’s from Canada and lip syncs those commercials. i would find the link to said news story but I’m lazy.

    Great, now that song is stuck in MY head. Douche.

  6. Dr. Zon 09 Jan 2009 at 10:01 am

    I checked your website today and was like “ugh not one of his better posts” then i continued working until these little little lines started to creep up in my head. The commercial has never stuck in my head until you posted this and now im in here every night selling chowder and iced tea, i mean singing it. AGHHHHHH

  7. RBoneon 09 Jan 2009 at 10:17 am

    If you REALLY want to torture yourself with horrible/great commercial music that will not ever, EVER, leave your brain, try this one on for size:


    I don’t know about the rest of the country but this one ran constantly for over year in NYC…and in my heart.

    Come on mi gente, let’s get online!

  8. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jan 2009 at 10:30 am

    RBone, you are so lucky you got to see that digital cable commercial all the time. It’s a straight up JAM!

  9. guilty noodleson 09 Jan 2009 at 1:24 pm

    RBone, was that a guy in a lobster costume? Or was it supposed to be a sea monster?

  10. RBoneon 09 Jan 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Sea dragon. If you look behind him there is a pirate fighting his tail…which took me a long time to even notice.

  11. Christineon 10 Jan 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Obviously, you are just jealous of Eric Violette. OBVIOUSLY. Why can’t you be happy for him and people who succeed, like the cooking genius Guy Fieri, or the people who have the money to spend 10,00 dollars to eat dinner hanging from a crane? Why not be positive?

  12. You Just Made My List!on 10 Jan 2009 at 7:02 pm

    Christine, Thank you, I have seen the error of my ways. I am going to hire Guy Fieri to cook my dinner on a crane while Eric Violette sings to me.

  13. Jeffon 11 Jan 2009 at 7:24 am

    They’re *still* running that one? I was in the States in May and had enough of it – surely it must be indelibly etched in the American psyche by now…

    What I didn’t like was how unrealistic it is. I mean someone creams your credit, so you end up working in a restaurant. What a load of crap – surely you can get another job. Or what’s wrong with working in a restaurant when you’re young? I had a great time back in the day…

  14. James Patrick Galivanon 14 May 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Actually, I enjoy those ads, and look forward to new ones, despite the fact that they are misleading. The ads are usually more creative than the programs they sponsor.

    I also like the kid who stars in them; he is a talented fellow. Some of the ladies find him attractive; I’m not a good judge of male looks, but he reminds me of the late Benny Hill. They both have that kind of face that make one guess at what they are thinking, and one knows that what’s going on in their heads is something naughty. I wish him well.

  15. Horatio Sanzon 16 Nov 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Somebody must slay these fucking faggot motherfuckers. I want that lame cock sucking singing faggot to suffer a horrible death. Perhaps burning him alive and then pissing on his charred corpse. I hate them all and I pray they die a terrible death.

  16. You Just Made My List!on 16 Nov 2009 at 9:08 pm

    Horatio – “Faggot?” Really? Are we really using that word to describe a dumb commercial. Let’ take it down a little. You’re up here and I need you to be down here.

  17. Douche McBaggeron 10 Feb 2010 at 5:57 pm

    No, he’s right. They’re faggots. I’m sorry if you’re a homophobe but many young men use slang like faggot and nigger just as an expression of disgust. Doesn’t mean we care about his race or sexuality.

    Now quit being a no-life faggot and smashing F5 hoping for the slightest bit of attention. (I see all your hasty replies)

    PS, everyone has a website, you’re not cool. I have like 8 myself.

  18. You Just Made My List!on 10 Feb 2010 at 6:15 pm

    Douche McBagger – Thanks for asking, here’s my secret to making awesome homemade Chex Mix. The recipe calls for 6 tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce, but if you use 8 tablespoons of butter and 3 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce you get more of the mix coated. I also add a little extra of the spices, but that’s up to you. Also, skip the fucking Wheat Chex and use Crispex instead. Wheat Chex just suck the life out of a good mix. and ALWAYS stir gently, nobody wants to eat Chex Mix dust!

    Hope that helps.

  19. rennyon 19 Dec 2012 at 4:06 am

    Man this dude needs his balls removed. A waste of humanity. I play and write music and would never sell out my buds to bullshit commercials. this dude is a scam on my ass. Fuck you ERIC rot in fucking hell