Jun 27 2008

Diablo Cody and people who liked Juno!

Ellen Page - Juno

I’m always a little afraid to see a movie the general public describes as “SOOOOOOO good” especially when the film is one of those ‘indie films’ for the masses. Inevitably I hate it and everyone thinks I’m a dick for my correct and superior opinion. With that said, I went into Juno with a good attitude. I love Michael Cera and Jason Bateman, how bad could it be? Within 10 minutes I was working on plans for a time machine that would take me back 11 minutes.

Back to the pole for you!I don’t care if Diablo Cody was a stripper or a Hooters girl or whatever the story is, she should stick to the pole because her movie is an insult to all the strippers out there who actually HAVE written great, undiscovered screenplays. In fact, she’s the weak link in this mess. The basic storyline isn’t bad and she had a great cast to work with but Diablo (I can’t believe I actually have to type that) writes dialogue like a 1st year film student.

So listen up “home skillet,” you did not like this movie. The kids were not “so real” and they didn’t “sound just like real kids.” Diablo Cody’s life story is not interesting and she did not deserve an Oscar. You will immediately place your Juno DVD on ebay or craigslist for the price of $1. I am not a dick.

Diablo Cody and fans of Juno, you just made my list!

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8 comments so far

8 comments to “Diablo Cody and people who liked Juno!”

  1. Creature of Habiton 10 Jul 2008 at 9:23 am

    Hated this movie. And I think Ellen Page is a horrible actress. A one hit wonder. Michael Cera saved this movie and made the second half bearable. I wanted to kill myself for the first half.

  2. […] end of it I was even sick of him. Michael Cera, consider this your official warning. Strike one was Juno and Nick and Norah is strike two. He’s too good for this mindless, formulaic, teen movie […]

  3. Stephanieon 17 Nov 2008 at 11:53 am

    Yeah, that movie sucked ass.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 17 Nov 2008 at 11:59 am

    Stepanie, It actually sucked MAJOR ass.

  5. Patrickon 26 Nov 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Holy shit, yes! Every one of these statements is the absolute truth. I just discovered your site, and what pisses you off seems to piss me off. I like this. Fuck Guy Fieri. And Andy Samberg. Even Lazy Sunday isn’t that great. Juno has a terrible script! I’ve been saying it forever. Thank you, sir, for saying what needed to be say-yud.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 26 Nov 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Patrick, Thanks! Eventually I will probably offend you but you can just tell me to fuck off when that happens. I don’t mind.

  7. eddkatzon 19 Aug 2010 at 4:30 pm

    omg!

    I have simply deplored Ellen Page since seeing her in X-men. I wonder what she could tell me about becoming an actor?

    My problem with Juno?

    This idiot has is supposed to be a witty, smart teen-but goes stupid when she touches a penis?

    Holy Mole!

    If that is the case, I am going to the mall and test that theory in Victoria’s Secret.

    On the Beaufort Wind Force Scale? With 64 being a full force hurricane? I give Juno a 69.

    This movie really blows.

  8. Mikeon 04 Nov 2010 at 8:26 am

    This movie was a piece of shit.