Mar 10 2009

Joan Rivers’ Face!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Sucky TV,Why?!?

Joan Rivers face

Oh Joan, why? I was with you when you had a few tucks here and there but this is getting out of hand. Joan, I loved you in “The Wrestler” but it’s time to keep off the operating table, forever.

I like Joan Rivers, I really do. She has thrived in a predominately male industry for decades and paved the way for every female comic working today, like Carrot Top. She’s a salty dame who loves a good dirty joke and she’s more than willing to make fun of herself. I think most people think of her as a useless red carpet interviewer but I think she deserves more respect than that. I know everything.

Having said that, what the fuck is up with her face? She’s looking more and more like Madame every day. If you don’t know who Madame is you need to ask yourself where you went wrong in life.

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27 comments so far

27 comments to “Joan Rivers’ Face!”

  1. Kieron Mooreon 10 Mar 2009 at 3:17 am

    she is starting to look like that rocky kid from the cher movie “Mask”

    http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/uglymask.jpg

    a couple more nip and tucks and she’s there, although saying that she still isnt as bad as Jackie Stallon

    http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/attachments/month_0807/jackie_stallone_8WQVqPftOQUP.jpg

    she is well and truely the missing link !

  2. cock robinon 10 Mar 2009 at 4:10 am

    just watching the intro to madame’s place makes me want to kill myself. i can’t believe multiple people got out of bed every morning to work on that. blows my mind.

    judy landers is a fox though and i concur with your feelings towards joan. the likeness is dead on; )

  3. jasonon 10 Mar 2009 at 5:33 am

    Her and Kenny Rogers, those two crazy kids should get together and have little plastic baby dolls!!
    I understand that if you have the money go ahead and make yourself look as good as you possibly can, but does that really mean you have to lose all of your dignity? As I get older I’ve started noticing a couple of lines around my eyes, truth is I feel I’ve earned them, and I don’t want to turn Dr. Quacksalot loose on my face with a Ginsu 2 and some silly putty.

    I agree with the respect you pay Joan. When I was younger I didn’t care for her but as I got older and hopefully smarter her comedy made more sense and I respected the work she had done for the girls of comedy. Thats the only reason I’m not ripping her.

    P.S. If you want to talk real plastic freakshow look up the cat lady. I can’t remember her name but the woman has had LOTS of surgeries to make herself look more feline. No that is cuckoo for cocopuffs!

  4. LLGon 10 Mar 2009 at 8:15 am

    Be honest with yourselves… if Joan didn’t have the kinda crypt-keeper/Jack-O with style/can I please please just touch it/holding your breath until a nose or an ear or a collagen-filled lip falls off sort of face, she just wouldn’t be Joan. I can only pray that twenty years from now her face will look even more like a plastic surgeon’s prep kit.

    On a further note, I’d like to add an exception to the Madame’s Place rule mentioned. If you were barely a fetus during such puppeteer heydays, you should be exempt from pondering life’s wrong turns, at least in regards to this.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 10 Mar 2009 at 8:28 am

    LLG – You need to ask your parents why they never told you about the days when Wayland and Madame ruled the airwaves. You might have the basis for a lawsuit.

  6. joe rossonon 10 Mar 2009 at 9:08 am

    Joan needs to realise she is starting to cross the line from improvement to insanity.

    I like her humor and like how she can clown her own looks, but if she keeps going she will start to look like that Wienstein freak show.

    It is incredible to observe people going overboard to preserve their youthfull looks but in the process they are making themselves look worse. Same goes for people obsessed with bieng thin, too thin is not enough. Welcome anorexia.

  7. Ronon 10 Mar 2009 at 10:06 am

    Why can’t old women just age and let nature do what it will? Look at Betty White – She’s 87 years old, and she hasn’t done that plastic surgery shit. She doesn’t look like a decrepit old hag either. Just take care of yourself and stop trying to turn back the fucking clock.

  8. rachelon 10 Mar 2009 at 10:06 am

    PLEASE send these pictures to Kathy Griffin. I don’t want HER going the way of the Joan.

  9. Colinon 10 Mar 2009 at 10:07 am

    why?! did you have to remind me of Madame? I really didn’t need that. I agree. Love the Joan, hate the face. But let the kids today use the google to find out who the f Madame is, ferchrissakes.

  10. Yours Trulyon 10 Mar 2009 at 10:10 am

    I agree 100% with joe rosson with regards to people going overboard to hang on to their youth. People go so far to hide their age that they end up looking more like animate scarecrows than people.

    “[S]he’s more machine than [wo]man now….” -Obi-Wan Kenobi

    Star Wars quote=WIN

  11. You Just Made My List!on 10 Mar 2009 at 10:30 am

    Ron – Betty White is a good example of aging gracefully. You get a gold star.

  12. RBoneon 10 Mar 2009 at 11:13 am

    Madame was, and still is, actually quite funny. she’s a bawdy old thing, aint she!

    Yet I find her infinitely less frightening than Lester:

    http://willieandlester.com/feb_07003004.jpg

    Also, does anyone remember when you could buy Madame, Lester and Charlie McCarthy in the JC Penney Christmas Catalog?

    Those were the days!

  13. joe rossonon 10 Mar 2009 at 1:09 pm

    Amen Yours Truly.

  14. hodanon 10 Mar 2009 at 1:21 pm

    she is starting to resemble the cat lady http://ellabama.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/jocelyn_wildenstein_5_wenn11.jpg
    * insert horrific shrieks of terror*

  15. jasonon 10 Mar 2009 at 1:37 pm

    Thanks Hodan! I couldn’t remember that woman’s real name or even where to get a pic of her but yes Joan isn’t too far from meow!

  16. Paul in St. Paulon 10 Mar 2009 at 4:22 pm

    You didn’t have to get out of bed to watch Madame’s Place. In my time, it usually ran like an hour or two after Saturday Night Live ended. And it was fucking awesome. It pre-dated the Small Wonder sitcom syndication phenomena of the later eighties and was always off-kilter. And Judy Landers always seemed to be bouncing on a mini-trampoline. And did everyone get a good look at Corey Feldman? Also, on the subject of Madame, when Solid Gold was nearing its end, they brought on Wayland and Madame for comedy interludes. It brought my roommate no end of discomfort because Wayland just stood there on camera with Madame making the funny Madame voice. Those were the golden years of television, I tell you.

  17. Brianon 10 Mar 2009 at 6:09 pm

    Happy birthday, dude!

  18. You Just Made My List!on 10 Mar 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Brian – how did you know? Thanks!

  19. rachelon 10 Mar 2009 at 6:51 pm

    YJMML~ way to bring out the big guns and the time machine on this topic. proof of why you are my fave.

    Commentators~ you are all my faves today.

  20. hodanon 10 Mar 2009 at 7:01 pm

    it’s your birfday today, Listguy? way to play it coy and happy birfday.be sure to thank your parents for bring you in, to start this rant blog. 😀

  21. Brianon 10 Mar 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Blog Catalog told me.

    Thanks for confirming, I would have been embarrassed if you had just put in a fake birthday at registration. Why, it’s my 210th birthday next January 1st.

  22. Yours Trulyon 10 Mar 2009 at 8:20 pm

    I’ll join in and wish you a happy birthday Listman. Since you’re an old man now, I suppose you’ll be writing about those damn kids messing up your lawn and skateboarding on the sidewalks. Or maybe you’ll just have a “seniors moment” and post your grocery list.

  23. hodanon 10 Mar 2009 at 9:29 pm

    Yours Truly- LOL you’re too much.

  24. justapersonon 10 Mar 2009 at 9:52 pm

    Does The Abominable Dr. Phibes ring a bell??
    she so looks FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED up

  25. joe rossonon 11 Mar 2009 at 9:17 am

    Happy b’day!! Mine is on the 12th, it’s the big 40 for me.

  26. W Partinon 29 Apr 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Thank you for keeping everyone educated.

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