Mar 16 2009

Babies wearing sunglasses!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

baby in sunglasses

If you are a mom or dad with a baby please don’t waste your time telling me that you put sunglasses on your child to protect their little eyes. I realize this and don’t disagree but I don’t have to be logical, I just have to hate something to put it on my fucking awesome list!

I HATE the way babies look in sunglasses. It creeps me the hell out! I’m not trying to be funny, I can’t look at a child when they are wearing sunglasses. A pair of sunglasses on a baby instantly transforms them from cute and innocent to a fat party guy from some late 80’s R-rated teen movie. You know the character, he’s usually named “Moose” or “Pudding” and is always wearing a Hawaiian shirt and not getting laid. The movie ends with “Moose” falling into a pool fully-clothed. He pops his head out of the water while still eating a slice of pizza and the rest of the teens all say in unison “oh Mooooooose.” Roll credits.

In summation, don’t put sunglasses on babies.

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17 comments so far

17 comments to “Babies wearing sunglasses!”

  1. Yubberson 16 Mar 2009 at 5:35 am

    I actually think this is fairly adorable.

    I get the 80’s reference however; instead of some dope like Moose… why can’t it be a character like Ferris Bueller huh? He was pretty awesome in his shades.

  2. Jeffon 16 Mar 2009 at 6:41 am

    From David Granet, pediatric opthalmologist:

    Should my baby wear sunglasses?

    “It’s a good idea, since exposure to ultraviolet rays may raise his risk for cataracts and other eye problems later in life…”

    I let your audience make up their mind. Pediatric ophthalmologist or anono-blogger ‘YJMML’.

  3. SanFranon 16 Mar 2009 at 7:31 am

    Exposure to age also increases risk of cataracts and other eye problems…

    I hope I get cataracts, because then I’ll be able to get a prescription for medical marijuana!

  4. guilty noodleson 16 Mar 2009 at 7:36 am

    Is it okay that my 3 year old insists on wearing sunglasses on a sunny day, Listman?

  5. You Just Made My List!on 16 Mar 2009 at 8:23 am

    Jeff – Please read my first paragraph again.

    Guilty – No.

  6. Xinaon 16 Mar 2009 at 8:57 am

    I’m just surprised when the baby keeps the glasses on. Besides, if you’re super concerned about protecting your spawn’s eyes why not teach them not to stare at the sun? Or, just let them do it once. I promise they’ll never do it again.

  7. guilty noodleson 16 Mar 2009 at 9:31 am

    Really? He’s not a baby anymore. He gets upset when the sun is too strong. Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, I’ll just have to tell my son that the Listman said, “No.”

  8. Arthason 16 Mar 2009 at 10:02 am

    I had no comment on your entry so I waited for others to go first, so I could rant about the stupidity of their comments and since in Germany people don’t value quality I’m full of it; here I go:
    Just kidding.
    You know, children try way too early to impress the opposite sex. Those sexy glasses make them look like whores.

  9. SanFranon 16 Mar 2009 at 10:37 am

    Don’t switch the blade
    On the guy in shades, oh-no
    Don’t masquerade
    With the guy in shades, oh-no
    I can’t believe it
    ‘Cause you got it made
    With the guy in shades, oh-no

  10. You Just Made My List!on 16 Mar 2009 at 10:51 am

    SanFran – I hate babies who wear their sunglasses at night even more!

  11. hodanon 16 Mar 2009 at 12:35 pm

    i don’t even kno what you’ve written, but i disagree! that baby is too cute, with his wee shades.

  12. Yours Trulyon 16 Mar 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Since nobody beat me to it:
    (everybody together now)
    “oh Listmaaaaaaaan.”

  13. kaotiksymphonyon 16 Mar 2009 at 1:22 pm

    okay maybe babies with sunglasses are a little creepy but dogs in shades look freakin awesome

  14. CreatureofHabiton 16 Mar 2009 at 1:31 pm

    Uh, those aren’t doggie sunglasses.

    Those are called “Doggles”. Not to be confused with goggles.

  15. jasonon 16 Mar 2009 at 1:41 pm

    SanFran you freakin awesome. Love the song reference. I have to believe you are the coolest regular at this blog. Love the reference, bringing the classic back to the fresh topic.

    All the boot licking aside, I agree with yjmml. Probably not for the reasons you may think. I think babies shouldn’t wear shades only because mine never would! Every time I put shades on my girls they jerked them off before I could get the damned light to come on on my sucky camera so, definitely no shades on children!

  16. Jeffon 16 Mar 2009 at 10:52 pm

    I agree with jason. The babies that I know won’t wear sunglasses for more than 2 seconds anyway, stupid ophthalmologist.

  17. SanFranon 17 Mar 2009 at 12:10 am

    Jason: shucks… just don’t let listman know that I’m about to surpass him in popularity, according to your calculations, and to think it only took some Corey Hart lyrics. Tisk Tisk Tisk.

    and what kind of sick fuck talks about his girls “jerk[ing] them off”? Who are they, and why are you trying to take pictures?

    nyuk nyuk nyuk