Mar 19 2009

People who wear cell phones on their belt!

Published by at 3:02 am under Why?!?

cell phone on belt

Sheesh. Do I even need to explain why these people should be punished? I can understand if you have to keep your cell phone in a belt holster because the nature of your job makes it a necessity but… wait, no I can’t understand it ever. You should quit your job, nothing is worth this.

While you are at it, please shave that neatly-trimmed “Blue Collar Comedy” goatee too. How do I know you have this goatee? Because you wear your cell phone on your belt.

I thought it could not get any worse than a belt holster but I happened upon this and it shook me to my very core. Get a purse already!

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34 comments so far

34 comments to “People who wear cell phones on their belt!”

  1. Kieron Mooreon 19 Mar 2009 at 5:20 am

    hahahhathe guy in the picture looks like a complete retard. Hes the type of person who wanted to be a cop but doesnt like being shot at… so instead he took a job as a car salesman and wanted to wear the holster… what a dick!

  2. jasonon 19 Mar 2009 at 5:46 am

    I can understand the belt holster. I have one of the jobs you talk about and no, I wouldn’t think of quitting. My job is freaking awesome. I go out into the woods and set stuff on fire, I also count animals and plants and decide the best way to restore habitat. Again, My Job Rocks!! On the other hand this guy in the pic is a tremendous ass bag. I carry two phones, one clipped to my belt and one in my pocket. In my pocket is personal and I usually don’t get alot of calls so I stays in my pocket. My work phone is busier during work hours and sometimes it can be difficult to get in to my pocket with some of the gear that I have to wear, so my work cell is on my belt.

    If you have this much crap on your belt you’re gay, and that’s ok, really. Just stop trying to fool you’re self and everyone else and live your life sweetie. You’ll be happier I promise, pinkie swear!!!

    Why wouldn’t you either give someone your personal cell number or your professional cell number? Why would you need so many devices on your person? Attract attention? Because says I’m important like multipule electronic communication devices prominantly displayed?

  3. Ronon 19 Mar 2009 at 6:05 am

    I agree with jason, if your job requires it there’s no problem. Otherwise, you just look like a tool. If you’re going to wear your personal celllphone on your belt, why not just go full retard and get a fanny pack?

    Actually, if you have to go to that extreme just end yourself.

  4. CreatureofHabiton 19 Mar 2009 at 6:22 am

    What about the asshats to walk around with their phones on speaker so we ALL have to hear it? Keep it in the woods bro!

    And fu-ucking bluetooth.

    Listy, please write about those bluetooth assholes. I had a girl haunt me through the grocery store last week babbling on her bluetooth 3 feet from me. She was my shadow and I kept thinking she was talking to me. It was awful. I had to use all my will power to not kick her in the throat.

  5. Ronon 19 Mar 2009 at 6:51 am

    Creature, I can top that – I had 2 experiences with the Northeastern Blue Toothed Asshole, both in the bathroom. One was while the dude was taking a monster dump, grunts and all, while talking on his phone. I didn’t know he was on his phone until he got out of the stall, I thought he was muttering to himself or some shit, I don’t know which of those is creepier.

    The second was some guy peeing in a urinal next to me – we’re the only two people in the bathroom and at first I thought he was talking to me, so I look over at him and say “Wha-” and then notice the specific marking of the beast, the blue blinking appendage on his ear. He had the nerve to give me one of those looks, like I’m the asshole. You couldn’t put down your fucking phone for 2-3 minutes while you relieve yourself?

  6. Peteon 19 Mar 2009 at 6:57 am

    If you’re a man wearing a shoulder holster, you BETTER have a gun in it. And if you don’t have a gun in it, it better because you’ve presently got the gun in your hands and you’re shooting someone. Otherwise, you deserve to be beaten and peed on.

  7. guilty noodleson 19 Mar 2009 at 7:24 am

    Wow, these stories are great! I need to get out more. And the photo? I’ll be sending it to my brother as he’d totally buy one of those.

  8. Yours Trulyon 19 Mar 2009 at 9:40 am

    Damn, that guy even has his car keys attached to his man purse. At least he won’t drop them on the floor… I think Listy needs to invest in a man purse, since he hates dropping his keys so much.

  9. hodanon 19 Mar 2009 at 9:41 am

    worst than a holster belt is a blue tooth device. my god do i hate that thing.

  10. rachelon 19 Mar 2009 at 9:51 am

    This man is my apartment building handyman. and everything you all said about him is true.

    Listy~ Creature and Yours Truly are giving you a run for your money. i’m just saying…

  11. Reel2reelon 19 Mar 2009 at 10:25 am

    Na na na na na na na na… Batman

  12. You Just Made My List!on 19 Mar 2009 at 10:29 am

    Rachel – I agree, the comments lately (actually for a long time) have been better than my posts and it’s pissing me off. I’m lazy and don’t need this extra pressure!

  13. rachelon 19 Mar 2009 at 10:41 am

    what really, really sucks about this look is that it is imperative that you tuck in a t-shirt.

    no pressure, listy. as long as what pisses you off makes me laugh.

  14. Blades runneron 19 Mar 2009 at 2:11 pm

    Cell phones have enabled the masses with another way to invade my personal space. Having a quiet moment with my thoughts stripped away from me with a one way inane chit chat session tortures my very soul.

  15. Christineon 19 Mar 2009 at 2:22 pm

    Awww. . . Obama wears his phone clipped to his belt. I find it endearing. Then again, I don’t actually own a cell phone, so what do I know? The only thing I do know is that I’m a dork. I also don’t know what bluetooth is. I am hanging my head in shame right now.

  16. You Just Made My List!on 19 Mar 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Christine – I know that about Obama and it makes me sad. I can overlook it though because he’s bad ass in so many other ways.

  17. Bobcatson 19 Mar 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Good point Listguy…on a side note I am surprised Rush Limbaugh hasn’t made your list yet

  18. MalaSuerteon 19 Mar 2009 at 8:01 pm

    hey listguy… lots of truckers love the belt holster as well, and they sport all kinds of weird beardery, not just goatees… and they’re the same guys with the damn bluetooth, which I hate and don’t use, but I like that the little bluetooth eardick helps me identify douchebags from hundreds of feet away.

  19. justapersonon 20 Mar 2009 at 2:24 am

    Listman i would NEVER EVER get a fucking bluetooth EVER. I am just NOT that IMPORTANT. I like tellin’ folks that I have to call ’em back. Besides I hate cellphones anyways. Why can’t we just go back to no caller id and prank phone calls? THAT shit was FUN

  20. CreatureofHabiton 20 Mar 2009 at 6:44 am

    Eardick! LMAO. Mala, I am going to use that the next time I want to kick one of those jerks in the throat.

    I want Christine’s life. Where might someone live that they don’t have to endure Bluetooth?

  21. Christineon 20 Mar 2009 at 11:24 am

    CreatureofHabit–I don’t think you’d want to live where I live unless you’re a fan of meth labs and of giving directions to places that involve saying things like “turn left at the strip club and then keep going until you pass the adult bookstore; the restaurant is about two blocks up from there.”

  22. Yours Trulyon 20 Mar 2009 at 2:57 pm

    Christine, that sounds EXACTLY like the place I want to live.

  23. Christineon 20 Mar 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Yours Truly–welcome to Sparks, Nevada! It’s like Reno, only less classy. It’s Nirvana, if your idea of Nirvana is Lucite stripper heels and all-you-can-eat Indian tacos.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 20 Mar 2009 at 3:45 pm

    What is an “Indian Taco?” Seriously that sounds better than the strippers!

  25. Christineon 20 Mar 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Fun Northern Nevada Fact!: An Indian Taco is a piece of fry-bread with ground meat and onions on the inside. It is most commonly consumed by hippies coming home from Burning Man. Local Native-American groups set up stands along the route from Burning Man to Reno to feed hungry jerks coming home from the event. Honestly, strippers are way more awesome.

  26. You Just Made My List!on 20 Mar 2009 at 4:13 pm

    ooooooooh, THAT kind of Indian. I forgot we were talking about Nevada. Being from Chicago I am used to the other kind of Indian. Now I’m obsessed with creating an Indian (India) style Taco.

  27. Christineon 20 Mar 2009 at 6:23 pm

    I think a tandoori taco would be great.

  28. beltmanon 10 May 2010 at 11:50 pm

    What really is so awful about a phone on a belt. Is a bulging pocket a better look? People use their phones for so many things besides phone calls, that having it handy may just be more efficient. Think about it. Who decided that this was so uncool? Did you decide yourself, or did you read it somewhere and decided to jump on the bandwagon so you too could feel “I’m cool cause I don’t do that”. Do you check a daily list of approved things to wear or accessories to carry before stepping outside each day?
    Someday you may wake up and say “How much of my life was wasted caring if someone wore a phone on their belt?”
    If you want to care about something, maybe it should be those guys who wear their pants halfway down to their knees.

  29. You Just Made My List!on 11 May 2010 at 9:20 am

    beltman – I’m sorry, but I would like for you to explain why it’s OK for YOU to criticize people who wear baggy pants but it’s NOT OK for ME to criticize people who wear cell phones on their belt? Seriously, explain yourself.

    Also –

  30. Cowmanon 17 Jun 2012 at 6:51 pm

    I don’t have any personal comment on the cell phone on belt thing, but god damn, there’s a lot of fashionistas in these comments.

    Worry about what the fuck you’re wearing, and not obsessing over the “fashion faux pas” of other people, unless it’s at the absolutely ridiculous level of individuals like you see on People of Walmart.

  31. You Just Made My List!on 17 Jun 2012 at 10:16 pm

    If you wear your cell phone on your belt you ARE a person of Walmart.

  32. Infinite-biton 10 Dec 2012 at 1:26 pm

    I really don’t see what the big deal is and after hearing all of the horror stories of people losing their phones because they slipped out of their pockets or bags. Which is why I wear a holster for my Droid 4 because i’ll be damned if I lose that thing.

  33. Lurkeron 08 Sep 2014 at 12:39 am

    Is this a chapter from American Psycho? Why don’t you go out and hike some jungles and rapel down waterfalls and tell me me you keep your phone in your pocket. Metrosexuals.

  34. You Just Made My List!on 08 Sep 2014 at 12:56 am

    Metrosexuals? I’m trying to understand this comment but it’s impossible. Actually, I live in Hawaii and hike through the jungle and explore waterfalls all the time, but I keep my phone safely in my backpack like a rational human being. Keeping your cell phone jutting out from your belt while being the action-man you claim to be is ridiculous.