Mar 23 2009

Mall cop movies!

paul blart mal cop

observe and report

I believe it was the wise and insightful George W. Bush who said “Fool me once, shame on… shame on you. Fool me…………… you can’t get fooled again.” Like most everything George Bush said, I totally agree!

I made the mistake of seeing “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” a few weeks ago. You could say it was my own personal 9/11. It was definitely a tragedy and I immediately made ribbon magnets for my car that say “Paul Blart: Mal Cop – Never Forget.”

Imagine how difficult it was for me to see a trailer for “Observe and Report,” the new mall cop movie starring Seth Rogen. I was still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder after Blart and simply was not mentally prepared for another catastrophe.

The most confusing thing about these dueling mall movies is that the female lead of each movie is NOT the same actress! Kevin James’ love interest in Blart is Jayma Mays, who looks exactly like Seth Rogen’s love interest in Observe, Anna Faris. In fact, until I did a little research, I was sure both movies starred the same girl.

Is this the beginning of same strange Twilight Zone scenario where eventually every movie is about a fat mall cop who falls in love with a blonde mall employee? It already seems like Seth Rogen is in every new movie. Is Seth Rogen taking over the planet? Is he an alien lusting after human blood? I’ve got you figured out Rogen, and like George W. Bush said “I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe… I believe what I believe is right.”

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17 comments so far

17 comments to “Mall cop movies!”

  1. Perryon 23 Mar 2009 at 9:09 am

    Seriously? Another mall cop movie? I haven’t even seen Paul Blart yet. Too soon, man, too soon.

    (This is my first comment on here but I’ve been lurking for a while. Love your stuff!)

  2. rachelon 23 Mar 2009 at 9:14 am

    Listy~ how..how..HOW did you happen to see, not one, but TWO mall cop movies??

    Next on your list: People who see movies about mall cops. and anything with Medea.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 23 Mar 2009 at 9:15 am

    Perry – Welcome!

    Rachel – To be clear, I did NOT see the Seth Rogen mall cop movie nor will I.

  4. rachelon 23 Mar 2009 at 9:21 am

    thank god. okay. we’re cool now.

  5. guilty noodleson 23 Mar 2009 at 9:53 am

    Why did you go to the Blart movie? I knew it was bad the second I asked my 8 yr old if he wanted to see it and his response was, “No thanks, it looks kind of stupid.”

  6. SanFranon 23 Mar 2009 at 10:41 am

    I really hope you snuck into the theater to see that, as not to pay 18.00 dollars or whatever the movie costs these days.

    Oh, what? You paid to see it?

    Shame, shame, shame…

  7. You Just Made My List!on 23 Mar 2009 at 10:42 am

    Oh, I paid. I paid in more ways than one.

  8. hodanon 23 Mar 2009 at 11:19 am

    i hate judd apatow(seth rogen too) movies…that is all.mall cop was a national tragedy, i had to see it with my niece.

  9. mikeon 23 Mar 2009 at 12:14 pm

    Hmmm. i love seth rogan and Judd apatow. They have done no wrong yet. we’ll see. seth and Bill hader were classic in superbad as real cops. but yeah him as mall cop, i just have wait and see.

    I’m sure kevin james’ movie sucked. I saw that coming. haven’t seen it nor did I plan to.

  10. Yours Trulyon 23 Mar 2009 at 1:01 pm

    With comments like these, I’ll be rushing out to see that movie right away. I’m sure it will be as good as everybody says it is.

  11. Brianon 23 Mar 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Next will be the fad of an adult mall cop who switches bodies with a high school kid, and the mall cop will try and be the hall monitor and get beat up while the high school kid buys all the beer he can get his hands on and he dies of alcohol poisoning.

  12. guilty noodleson 23 Mar 2009 at 2:51 pm

    Can someone explain to me what happened to Anna Faris’ face or more importantly, her lips?

  13. SanFranon 23 Mar 2009 at 10:06 pm

    guilty noodles:

    which set of lips?

  14. guilty noodleson 24 Mar 2009 at 11:43 am

    Wow, San Fran… have you seen the lower set?

  15. joe rossonon 26 Mar 2009 at 5:19 pm

    I WOULD SOOOOO TOUNGE HER LIPS….ALL OF THEM!!!

  16. guilty noodleson 27 Mar 2009 at 3:32 pm

    Um, Joe? I get the feeling you’d do Tara Reid or Courtney Love anytime, anywhere, eh?

  17. jackon 06 Apr 2009 at 1:26 am

    most have had their fill of the mall cop genre but in case you haven’t there’s a movie that precedes them both. this one you can view online as a series though… so no monetary commitment: http://westacre.tv/WestAcreSeries1.html