Mar 24 2009

Poor sign maintenance!

Published by at 3:06 am under Why?!?

old neon sign

I already know nobody is going to care about this subject and I’m going to get comments like “you are really starting to suck Listy, I hope you die,” so please kiss my freshly groomed personal area!

Here’s the deal, it’s my fucking blog website and I HATE seeing signs with lights burned-out so I’m going to write about it!

These jerks are like little kids begging for a dog, “I will walk him and feed him and pet him and brush him every day. Please can we have a puppy? PLEASE?” Sure, their sign looks kickass the first month when all the bulbs are happily flashing away. Then one bulb burns out and the owner says to himself “I will change that bulb next week.” That week turns into 15 years and the next thing you know I’m staring at 247 burned-out bulbs and 3 working lights desperately trying to pick up the slack.

If you want to have an awesome sign with tons of lights then it is your duty to keep ME happy with constant sign maintenance. Why do you want to upset me? Take care of that precious little puppy for the love of God!

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39 comments so far

39 comments to “Poor sign maintenance!”

  1. guilty noodleson 24 Mar 2009 at 8:25 am

    Hmmm… I’m not so sure how to respond to this one, but I will let you know that I still feed, pet, walk my dog everyday. I guess I would be a kick ass sign owner?

  2. You Just Made My List!on 24 Mar 2009 at 8:38 am

    I’m guessing you will have the only comment today.

  3. Yours Trulyon 24 Mar 2009 at 8:40 am

    guilty: I’m glad that you still feed your dog every day. That makes me happy.

    Listy: What’s wrong with burnt out signs? Sometimes they are unintentionally funny. But please, PLEASE, for the love of (God, Science, Zeus, Thor, etc.) stop using the word “blog”, which is the most annoying word in the English language. How about using “website” instead?

  4. You Just Made My List!on 24 Mar 2009 at 8:43 am

    Yours – Believe me I HATE the word blog. I hate that I HAVE a blog. I guess I should start saying website, good idea. I will edit it right now!

    Also, I’m not talking about when a sign that reads “Mattress Discount” suddenly reads “Mattress Cunt.” I like that. I like that very much! I just don’t like it when a sign has a bunch of burned out bulbs and never gets fixed.

  5. Yours Trulyon 24 Mar 2009 at 8:58 am

    Listy: I like that you actually edited that. I was trying to think of a funny burnt out sign like “Mattress Cunt”, but it’s just too damn early in the morning.

  6. guilty noodleson 24 Mar 2009 at 9:26 am

    See, I’m not your only comment! And Listy, I totally understand where you’re getting at. Americans are lazy and that’s why we have drive throughs for our fatty, fried goodies… and Starbucks for our ridiculous $5 coffee drinks. I think we wouldn’t be in a recession if this whole Starbucks thing didn’t happen.

    And thanks, Yours Truly. I LOVE my dog, but not enough to buy a stroller/bike trailer for him. Just a custom sweater.

  7. guilty noodleson 24 Mar 2009 at 9:27 am

    And I would totally buy a mattress from Mattress Cunt.

  8. Yours Trulyon 24 Mar 2009 at 9:31 am

    guilty: Please tell me you’re joking about the sweater. I might have a rage heart attack if it’s true.

  9. deadlytoqueon 24 Mar 2009 at 10:07 am

    Yeah, my first thought was ‘what about good burnouts like when “Clock Warehouse” (an actual retailer near my office) becomes “Cock Warehouse”‘, but it seems you covered that with Mattress Cunt.

    If a cock warehouse fucks a mattress cunt, what is the result?

  10. hodanon 24 Mar 2009 at 10:14 am

    oooh it’s getting raunchy in here.I’d buy anything from Mattress Cunt.

    listman i agree, i hate burnt out lighting too, but it has a purpose. it shows what motels not to go to or which stores to avoid or gives you a good chuckle when on a long ass road trip in boring ass middle America( no offense mid westerners.)

  11. Tommyon 24 Mar 2009 at 10:47 am

    you people are being too nice. this topic sucks and we all know it. die “listy”

  12. You Just Made My List!on 24 Mar 2009 at 10:55 am

    There we go Tommy, that’s more like it.

  13. Sundayon 24 Mar 2009 at 10:58 am

    You know, once I start seeing unkept signs on the Vegas strip, I’m packing up and moving to Iceland. This blog, um.. website entry was worthy.

    P.S. I’m never moving, especially to Iceland.

  14. Yours Trulyon 24 Mar 2009 at 11:01 am

    Looks like Tommy has too much sand in his vagina today.

  15. hodanon 24 Mar 2009 at 11:06 am

    LOL maybe tommy should go see mattress cunt to get it fixed.

  16. guilty noodleson 24 Mar 2009 at 11:46 am

    LMAO- Yours Truly & Hodan. I didn’t get a sweater, just a collar through etsy.

  17. guilty noodleson 24 Mar 2009 at 11:46 am

    Wait, I may have shopped for a sweater…

  18. Yours Trulyon 24 Mar 2009 at 3:44 pm

    guilty: As long as you don’t have a yippy ankle-biting rat dog that you keep in your purse everything is A-okay.

  19. Neishon 24 Mar 2009 at 3:59 pm

    I like burnt out signs, sometimes I get a chuckle…and then feel ashamed.

    Like a few summers ago around the time of the SARS scare in Toronto, I drove past SEARS in my town and the E burnt out. It was just bad timing on the part of the sign but slightly amusing, though I felt bad about the whole, you know, SARS killing people thing.

  20. J Dubon 24 Mar 2009 at 4:47 pm

    How about “Hotis Motel” turning into “Ho Motel” and coincidentally being the trashiest place in town.

    Burnouts are annoying, but sometimes they are worth a chuckle. Chuckles are good.

    But you can still die listy, if you want.

  21. CreatureofHabiton 25 Mar 2009 at 6:30 am

    “As long as you don’t have a yippy ankle-biting rat dog that you keep in your purse everything is A-okay.”

    Fuck you.

  22. Saraon 26 Mar 2009 at 6:27 am

    ha ha SARS, I love when the sign burns out to look like or read something dirty. There is this motel shaped like a steam boat near me and the paddles of the wheel (are supposed to) all light up, but eventualy burned out to have two slotts on one side and one on the other….looking suspiciously like the “shocker” hand gesture

  23. Yours Trulyon 26 Mar 2009 at 9:18 am

    CreatureofHabit: Hit a nerve, did I?

  24. You Just Made My List!on 26 Mar 2009 at 9:27 am

    Yours – Don’t talk shit about her dog, it’s a danger zone!

    Group hug!!!!!!!!!

  25. CreatureofHabiton 26 Mar 2009 at 10:28 am

    No. No nerve.

    I just happen to have a tiny dog that lives neither in a purse nor in couture clothes. She doesn’t bite ankles unless I tell her to. She’s just little is all. And assholes treat her (and me) like shit because she’s small. The line that everyone seems to enjoy towing is it’s not okay to talk shit about Pit Bulls or some other “maligned” breed, but it’s okay to kick around small breeds.Tiresome is all.

    Especially since she’s the best fucking dog in the world. Am I right Listy? L I S T Y ?

  26. Yours Trulyon 26 Mar 2009 at 11:13 am

    CreatureofHabit: I think the reason nobody talks shit about Pit Bulls is because their redneck owners would probably shoot them.

    I don’t like small dogs not because they’re small, but because you can really DO anything with them. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it a little hard to play fetch when the ball is half the size of the dog, or go for a run when the dogs little legs makes it hard for it to keep up?

    But you’re right, anybody who treats you like shit because of what kind of dog you have is an asshole. Does this happen often?

    Alright, group hug time.

  27. guilty noodleson 26 Mar 2009 at 11:37 am

    Whoa, that was intense. I’m kind of glad the site was down yesterday.

  28. guilty noodleson 26 Mar 2009 at 11:43 am

    I have a confession to make… I did order my dog a custom made fleece pullover. He’s 55 pounds and doesn’t need it. There, I said.

    May I join the group hug now????

  29. Yours Trulyon 26 Mar 2009 at 12:03 pm

    FUCK, that’s supposed to be “…can’t really…” Forgot the “t”.

    guilty: Of course, everyone’s welcome in this group hug.

  30. Christineon 26 Mar 2009 at 8:46 pm

    Wow, this is turning into a Very Special Moment on YJMML. What an unexpected turn of events. As long as we’re confessing: I have a Jack-O-Lantern hat for my dog for Halloween, but I justify it because the place where I buy her food has an annual event where they will donate your dog’s weight food to the SPCA if the dog comes in to the store in costume. My dog’s a porker, so she really brings in the free dog food. However, she always looks completely ashamed and humiliated in the hat, so I’m conflicted.

  31. Yours Trulyon 27 Mar 2009 at 5:12 am

    “However, she always looks completely ashamed and humiliated in the hat,”

    I thought that was the whole reason why people dress up their pets.

  32. CreatureofHabiton 27 Mar 2009 at 12:31 pm

    My dog DOMINATES at fetch. And if I wasn’t such a lazy recluse, we’d dominate dog agility. Her middle name should be Flash. And not in an ironic Dukes of Hazard Basset hound kind of way. In She Will Own You kind of way.

    She’s like a cross between a Border Collie and a Greyhound. She looks like a Border Collie, is as fast as a greyhound and as lazy as a greyhound that’s off duty.

    Besides all this, she doesn’t need to do anything cuz she’s so fucking cute it would blow your mind. That’s no exaggeration.

    And, in summary, for every 5 people that go nuts when they see her, there’s some asshole that has to harrass us or get hostile with me because she’s small. I don’t get it. As much as I don’t get poor sign maintenance. (that’s right, bringing it home….)

  33. You Just Made My List!on 27 Mar 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Creature’s dog is pretty awesome y’all.

  34. guilty noodleson 27 Mar 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Creature’s dog is damn awesome. And DO NOT mess with Creature. She can do some serious damage to all you assholes.

  35. CreatureofHabiton 27 Mar 2009 at 4:15 pm


    Okay…. I’m ready for group hug.

    Goddammit I love my dog!

  36. Christineon 27 Mar 2009 at 9:00 pm

    I’m pretty sure Creature’s dog can kick my dog’s ass. I apologize to my dog for saying this, but she knows it’s true. Also, to be on topic, as a resident of Nevada, I’m pleased with any blown-out light-bulb signs. I need a respite.

  37. Yours Trulyon 28 Mar 2009 at 6:59 am

    guilty: Thanks for the warning. Creature, if you’re reading this, I would appreciate it if you did NOT do serious damage to my asshole.

  38. CreatureofHabiton 31 Mar 2009 at 6:45 am


    My ‘Big Dog Friend’ was over last night for beers (this friend has repeatedly rough housed with my dog and sent her running for my lap) and by the end of the night, he could not stop talking about the magic of my dog. Just sayin. All it takes is a few beers.

  39. JFM SARSon 12 Jan 2010 at 11:05 am

    Hay Guys, it is the real SARS This time, I hate most people, certainly not dogs. They are nice, the love you Just like that,l they are Honest and …THEY DO’NT TALK SHIT!!! When my animals shall talk you should be ashamed if you have any feelingfs left.

    Pleased to meet you JFM Sars Angel of Revenge