Apr 03 2009

Time travel!

Published by at 3:03 am under Sucky TV,Your Movie Stinks

back to the future

Am I the only idiot who is still watching Lost? I’ve never really liked the show but now I have to see it through to the end. I just want answers God damn it! This season they are taking me to the edge of insanity with the addition of time travel. Fuck me. I guarantee, those jerk writers added time travel to the mix because it allows them to do anything they want. They can get out of all the corners they backed themselves into by simply letting time travel explain it away.

My slow noodle is about to explode from all this jumping back and forth through time. Just tell me what the fucking smoke monster is and why there are polar bears and pirate ships on this piece of shit island already! Is it heaven? Is John Locke Jesus? Is this whole show taking place in Hurley’s fat head? WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN?

Here’s the deal, time travel never works in any TV show or movie. There are simply too many holes and complications to make it plausible in any plot. I mean right now on Lost we have to accept that there is a child Ben and an adult Ben walking around at the same time for Christ’s sake. Don’t even get me started on the disappearing photo in Back to the Future!

On a side note: I just overheard a commercial for the new “Fast and Furious” movie and they quoted the following review… “The best of all the Fast and Furious movies.” That’s like saying “The best tasting bucket of vomit.” I wish I had a time machine so I could go back 45 seconds and change the channel. Or maybe I could go back to 2001. Not to stop 9/11 but to kill everyone responsible for The Fast and The furious. FINE, I’ll kill Osama Bin Laden too. I’m so nice.

Time to drink myself to sleep!

Be Sociable, Share!

20 comments so far

20 comments to “Time travel!”

  1. Mr. Kickers, Sr.on 03 Apr 2009 at 8:11 am

    I agree time travel is a cheap substitute for ideas and solid writing. The show “Heroes” started relying heavily on time travel in season three which increased the shows suckage. I don’t know what is worse – time travel, or that I just admitted to watching “Heroes”. You could have a never ending nerd debate about time travel, so I won’t address the lameness and flawed logic of the premise of the “The Terminator” movies.

  2. Navisionon 03 Apr 2009 at 8:49 am

    Hey, if you believe in Time Travel, meet me last Tuesday at the McDonalds!

  3. rachelon 03 Apr 2009 at 9:40 am

    Listen, Listy- last night was the series finale of ER. item #1 on the list of shit to be thankful for.

  4. Peteon 03 Apr 2009 at 9:49 am

    Heh, heh–that’s what you get for watching TV!

  5. You Just Made My List!on 03 Apr 2009 at 10:01 am

    Navision – Make it Taco Bell.

    Rachel – Praise Jesus. Now we only have to sit through 20 years of reruns.

    Pete – TV rules, how dare you?!? Apologize to TV.

  6. guilty noodleson 03 Apr 2009 at 10:15 am

    Even my husband has checked out on Lost. Are you that bored?

  7. SanFranon 03 Apr 2009 at 10:28 am

    LOST is about the only show I watch – but I get it from the iTunes store or whatever – and watch it on planes and when my STDs flair up, which has been a lot lately.

    I think I have a scab caught under my fingernail, in fact.

    Anyhow, I agree that it does seem to give writers carte blanche, but if done well, it still offers a oft-appreciated mind-fuck (clinical term is cranial penetration). It seems, Listman, to have hooked you and pulled you up from the depths with its strong arms…

  8. mikeon 03 Apr 2009 at 10:29 am

    Ha ha, you watch Lost.
    Vin diesel is so gay.
    Michael J. Fox + Time Travel = Awesome.

  9. Saraon 03 Apr 2009 at 10:55 am

    I hate time travel. If light sound and matter all move through time at different speeds then how in gods name can all three meet up as one whole person getting felt up by their (semi) hot young mom. HOW!?!

  10. hodanon 03 Apr 2009 at 11:12 am

    any show/ movie(except back to the future) that use time travel as a plot-line losses any sort of credibility. But Lost lost all that after season 2.is it so hard to attach twigs together and float along until you get rescued by a group of fishermen or mermaids?!

  11. guilty noodleson 03 Apr 2009 at 11:22 am

    Good one, Sara.

  12. CreatureofHabiton 03 Apr 2009 at 11:40 am

    Boo Ya Sara!

    LOL @ Rachel….

  13. Neishon 03 Apr 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Futurama time travel is the only acceptable TV time travel.

  14. Yours Trulyon 03 Apr 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Terminator 1 and 2 (but not 3 because a. it sucked, and b. I only saw the last ten minutes of it) are the only examples of time travel done well.

    And if you don’t agree, I’ll send Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to kill your mother, so you’ll have never been born! HAHAHA!

  15. shay the greaton 04 Apr 2009 at 8:44 am

    Fucking Paul Walker…

    I am so glad I never watched Lost.

    The vanishing photo, don’t get ME started on that!

    excellent post my dear list man.

    You are a God. (I am going to write to the guys at lost and fill them in on that detail so they can clear it all up for you)

  16. bullet-x-theoryon 04 Apr 2009 at 1:10 pm

    i can honestly say i have never managed to sit through an entire episode of lost…
    i do however spend copious amounts of time creeping the list lol

  17. Saraon 06 Apr 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Neish, agreed. Probably the only reason this Lost BS got through is because Al Gore is no longer in control of the time space continuum

  18. Tommyon 06 Apr 2009 at 5:25 pm

    Sara, Don’t try and be smart and act like you know the first thing about physics and space-time when you clearly don’t.

    Here’s the run down on time travel:
    Back to the future – acceptable even though horrible flawed since it is awesome
    Terminator – who gives a fuck just watch it.
    Lost – Almost clever but the reality is obviously stupid just like the entire show. I wish I never decided that I wanted to watch it last december. Do you know how much time of my life i had to sacrifice to watch 4 seasons of that show in 2 months…thank god for torrents.
    12 Monkeys – awesome in both continuity and fuck you
    i’ve had it
    thanks list homo

  19. Featheredkittenon 09 Jun 2009 at 8:01 pm

    you want to know what the numbers mean and where the ship came from and why there are polar bears?


    the number are the core numbers for a math problem that calculates how long humans have until we blow ourselves up, they were broadcasting because the dharma initiative made them broadcast until they could change them….blah blah, there by averting the end of the world.

    The ship crashed there in the 1800’s or some shit

    the polar bears are left over experiments from the dharma people….

    you’re on your own for the smoke monster.

  20. sim1on 11 Oct 2010 at 1:29 am

    Oh I’m so glad I stopped watching that shitty show when I did. I laughed at my wife’s disappointment when it ended. And fuck all you people that tell me I egen’t get it because I didn’t watch all the episodes. Fuck you, I got the fact that it sucked smoke monster asshole… that’s good enough for me. And you assholes forgot bill and Ted’s excellent adventure… totally radical schmuck’s!