Apr 10 2009

These shitty nachos!

Published by at 3:00 am under Why?!?

bad nachos

As I mentioned, I am in the middle of a huge project and until it’s done I’m pretty much not leaving my home office. I no longer sleep or shower and I’m working an average of 15 hours each day. I know, cry you a river.

A byproduct of this schedule is that I’m not really eating healthy. Actually, I’m not really eating. Look at this gem of a meal I “cooked” today. Are you getting hungry yet? NO, I didn’t scan this photo from a cookbook!

I had some nacho chips but none of the other necessary nacho ingredients but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Way in the back of the fridge I found a 1/4 block of sharp cheddar. Sure, it was moldy but I was able to cut right around that shit and begin to construct my glorious nachos! Things were not looking good but I still had faith that when I pulled that plate out of the microwave somehow a beautiful plate of nachos would appear. Not unlike when Jesus broke a magic loaf of bread into enough pieces to feed 1,000 people! Is that how that story goes?

Well, unlike Jesus, I fucked up my magic meal. I accidentally left my ghetto nachos in the microwave for 2 minutes, turning my cheese into some form of orange lava rock. I ate them anyway.


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38 comments so far

38 comments to “These shitty nachos!”

  1. jasonon 10 Apr 2009 at 5:22 am

    No listy, I don’t hate your ghetto nachos post. You’re awesome and I’m not. Better now?

  2. Sundayon 10 Apr 2009 at 6:02 am

    That is the gayest plate ever.

  3. Saraon 10 Apr 2009 at 6:12 am

    Yea that 70’s show called they want their plate back.

    I would probably eat those “nachos” to….if I had done 5 bong hits and 6 shots of tequila

  4. justapersonon 10 Apr 2009 at 7:26 am

    gotta get your daily dose of radiation

  5. guilty noodleson 10 Apr 2009 at 9:44 am

    lqtm, sunday.

    listy, you need to calm down. i’ll bring you some of my husband’s hot pockets.

  6. rachelon 10 Apr 2009 at 10:54 am

    ..wait. my first thought when i saw that picture was “I LOVE THAT PLATE!”

  7. SanFranon 10 Apr 2009 at 10:59 am

    1) that plate is… simply… awesome.
    2) those nacho’s look like a 13 year old’s face!

  8. LLGon 10 Apr 2009 at 11:03 am

    While the visible plate design is unassuming enough, I can’t shake the feeling that there is something truly disturbing beneath those leperous nachos. Akin to a Guy Fieri handshake in a tanning salon.

    For shame, Listman, for shame.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 11:16 am

    The great plate debate rages on!!!!!!!

  10. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 11:20 am

    P.S. In case anyone cares (and why would you?) I sent these asshole nachos back to hell (AKA pooped them) this morning. Good riddance!

  11. Tommyon 10 Apr 2009 at 11:54 am

    no comment

  12. FFAFon 10 Apr 2009 at 12:26 pm

    I love how many posts lately have been tagged “the end of the world” and “the worst thing ever.” What would Guy Fieri say about those nachos???

  13. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 2:10 pm

    What would Guy Fieri say about my nachos? He would say, “Those bad boys are money!”

  14. Angieon 10 Apr 2009 at 3:43 pm

    Okay so I know that I am SERIOUSLY risking being made of myself but I have to admit that a co-worker and myself swear that your website is the ONLY thing that keeps us from going insane as we waste 8 hours per day sitting in our tiny cubicle “loan processing” (see: surfing the internet for ANYTHING even remotely funny) and we have our own ongoing debate about whether you are a hilarious & HOT “blogger” (we know how you LOVE that word) or a hilarious & Tom Lycos look-a-like “blogger”. We HOPE for the former and hope your nacho burning culinary skills do NOT correlate with your humpability factor.

  15. icecycle66on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:49 pm

    I would eat those cheese net nachos 1000 times recycled before eating any of the crap I’ve seen Fieri stuff in the cock-cradle he calls his mouth.

    I can’t change the channel fast enough when I see his fancy-boy hair. I want to hire some indian to scalp his goofy ass, but those people have been wronged enough up to this point.

    There is nothing worse than breaking up some good softcore porn (http://www.youjustmademylist.com/?p=1070) (see #10) than seeing his garbage-barge body pop-up for an advertisement break.

  16. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Angie – I am hot. Very.

  17. Angieon 10 Apr 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Blogger – Awesome. Prove it.

  18. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Angie – Are you sure you can handle it?

  19. Angieon 10 Apr 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Blogger – Stop searching Google images for some smokin’ hot guy that you think you could pass for yourself and just prove it already 🙂 Yes Blogger, I can handle it…unless you resemble the guy you posted when your server was down. Oh please, please say thats not you.

  20. Angieon 10 Apr 2009 at 4:55 pm

    By the way, I would much prefer colon, closed parenthesis : ) than the stupid “emoticons” that systems automatically do now. That is one scary ass “happy face”

  21. rachelon 10 Apr 2009 at 5:08 pm

    yeah, Listy…PROVE IT.

  22. SanFranon 10 Apr 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Angie: you say you can handle it… but, can you handle it?

    Listman looks like a cross between Elvis, before he got all fat n’ shit, Michael Flatley, and Roy Horn, after the tiger attack.

  23. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:12 pm

    My dad actually looked a little like young Elvis. True.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:14 pm

    It’s funny that right now on the Simpsons Homer is an anonymous blogger. Weird!

  25. SanFranon 10 Apr 2009 at 5:17 pm

    Your dad was Elvis? Wow.

  26. You Just Made My List!on 10 Apr 2009 at 5:23 pm

    My dad IS Elvis. He faked his death to spend more time playing catch with me.

  27. SanFranon 10 Apr 2009 at 5:31 pm

    So, presumably then, you were at Michael Jackson and Lisa-Marie’s wedding?

    That wasn’t Liza Minelli standing there, was it… it was you!

  28. Angieon 10 Apr 2009 at 5:39 pm

    SanFran: Yes, I can HANDLE it (fuck, I wanted to put that in italics like you did but am apparently an idiot and dont know how)

    Rachel: Yo gurl, stay off my man. Hes be buying this ho a promise ring ya’ll. I’ll cut a bitch.

    Blogger: Told you you were the catch of the blogging world.

  29. SanFranon 10 Apr 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Angie: as Listman’s pubic-relations proxy (self-appointed, effective immediately, be it known), I feel compelled to inform you of a minor* detail which could likely render you inconsequential to his greatness.

    Listman has made it completely clear that he hates the term “blog”. Addressing him as “blogger” will surely get you on his list, and not the list you want to be on.

    Also, speaking for the community at large, it is an unreasonable request to see first a photo of him (assuming he is a he), before a good-faith offering of a photo of yourself.

    *bold-italic usage was intended only for show-off purposes only.

  30. icecycle66on 10 Apr 2009 at 6:35 pm

    “Listy” doesn’t have to prove shit. It’s his blog (i just threw up a little). It’s his world. Proof enough is that he hates those crappy-ass nachos. Anyone who hates that shit is awesomely hot (I also hate those nachos by the way).

  31. LLGon 10 Apr 2009 at 7:13 pm

    Wow. Looks like the Listman needs to ask Bret Michaels about some strategies for a new hit dating show, you can call it “List of Love”. He can try to wear a bandana and eyeliner, and it’ll be oh so much when 30 seconds after applying, he vomits all over the contestants. Guy Fieri can be his wing-man and orange douchelos can provide style tips.

    I’m already excited.

    Somebody must have seen this:

  32. guilty noodleson 10 Apr 2009 at 11:23 pm

    wow listy, you’ve developed quite a fan base.

    girls, think ashton krutcher with a bit of demetri martin and very much a mama’s boy. you’re welcome, listy.

  33. Yours Trulyon 11 Apr 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Why is everybody asking what Listy looks like? He already posted his picture here twice. You know, the one with the fat hairy nerd in it? (I’d link to it but that would require me to look at the picture again)

  34. You Just Made My List!on 11 Apr 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Mama’s boy? Huh?

  35. guilty noodleson 11 Apr 2009 at 2:49 pm

    listy, you remind me of my kids.

  36. Tommy Rocheon 11 Apr 2009 at 11:04 pm

    wow, time to stop reading this garbage

  37. You Just Made My List!on 12 Apr 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Tommy Roche – I could not agree more. Especially on a Saturday night! What the hell are you doing reading blogs on a Saturday night? Oh, I just realized I won’t get an answer to that question since you will no longer be reading my garbage.

  38. CreatureofHabiton 13 Apr 2009 at 6:59 am

    Hahahaaa…. and very thin Ashton Kutcher. And 7,000 times funnier. Wait, 7,000 times zero is still zero. So – Er… well, let’s just say Listy is actually funny.