Apr 23 2009

MuVChat!

muvchat

FINALLY something that combines my love of pointless texting and people who talk during movies!

If you are a normal, fully functioning adult then you probably have not heard of “MuVChat.” Take a moment to thank Jesus for this because I am about to ruin your life. MuVChat allows you to read what’s on the minds of the dipshits sharing the theater with you. You see, at a MuVChat screening you can text any piece of bullshit rolling around in your empty skull and it will appear at the bottom of the screen. Imagine how insightful and creative these texts must be. I’m guessing it’s mostly comments like…

“Yo diz guy iz fast and furious yo”
“WTF dat guy doing yo”
“yo look out dat guy be behind yo azz!!!!”
“why dis button guy gotta age backwardz and shit yo :(”
“deez guyz is fagzz yo”
“beyonce’s azz be da shiz yo LMAO ROFL”
“Rosebud is the emblem of the security, hope and innocence of childhood, which a man can spend his life seeking to regain, yo”

I mean just look at the sample comments they put in their promo video. “Why I’m not a male model.” WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Are they as dumb as their audience or do they know they are marketing to idiots and want to speak their language? Either way it makes me want to stand outside the MuVChat offices and fling poop at anyone leaving the building.

If MuVChat becomes popular I beg you to kill me! Thanks (sort of) to my wife for bringing this to my attention.

Watch this but prepare to cry yourself to sleep.

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11 comments so far

11 comments to “MuVChat!”

  1. Xinaon 23 Apr 2009 at 6:05 am

    Please let me first apologize for my colorful language and blinding rage before my comment is read.

    Now… Oh my fucking god you have to be fucking kidding me. If it’s not bad enough that I’m forced to share a theater (and sometimes a row!) with the unwashed masses, now you’re expecting me to actually be assulted by their stupid, mindless thoughts?! I’m about to go on a slapping spree. That’s it. I fucking give up. I renounce being human. I’m so dangerously close to jumping off my roof to get away from a world that would promote such an inane idea. The thing stopping me is a) I live on the second floor and would very likely only break a foot instead of die, and b) in the event I did die I fear I would be forced to hear one of my MuVChat fan (ie idiot) neighbors call be “bra” before the sweet embrace of death took me.

    Like you Listy, I too know of my superiority over other people. If people such as ourselves were the only ones leaving comments we know that a movie would be enhanced by our sublte wit and insightful input. (These, along with my very pleasant smell are some of the main reasons why any of my movie companions are blessed to share the seat next to mine.) What is more likely, however, is the sad, scary world that you predicted. Text language so criptic it’s indecipherable to anyone over the age of retard, every action being sexualized and lame ass comments that were once merely an annoying whisper from the shithead kids behind me are now raping my eyes.

    Please, I beg of a great powerful being (that I’m quite suspect of at this point) to either stike the sight from my head or to rain down a fire of smite for the creatures that created this abomination and anyone else that might enjoy it!

    Wow, that felt good. I can see why you might keep up a blog that you claim to hate. That was very cleansing.

  2. CreatureofHabiton 23 Apr 2009 at 6:37 am

    ^^Yeah, what she said.^^

  3. You Just Made My List!on 23 Apr 2009 at 8:16 am

    Xina – WOW! You went into a real rage coma there and starting spewing like a possessed woman! I should copy and paste your comment and replace my post with it. Hilarious, your best work!

  4. icecycle66on 23 Apr 2009 at 8:43 am

    I’m not even going to bother trying. Warrior Prencess up there pretty much trumps anything else that’s gonna come along.

  5. hodanon 23 Apr 2009 at 8:44 am

    anybody who types ‘yo’ that much should be shot(except you listy). my brother’s ghetto ass friends don’t even say ‘yo’!!
    thanks for ruining my day Listman. i was blissfully ignorant to this shit.

  6. FFAFon 23 Apr 2009 at 9:20 am

    This could be the most upsetting item on your list. Though I too was “blissfully unaware” of MuVchat I have not been spared from stupid people’s pointless texts. If anyone watched college basketball towards the end of the season on ESPN they may have noticed a gray box taking up valuable screen space (I bought a 23 inch tv so I could see 23 inches of tv). Worst of all is the stupidity that this box offers. It is just stupid fans texting stupid things. Why would I care that “CatsFan 32432432” says “Go Cats?” I don’t ever care what someone else’s comments are. If I did, I would ask for them. This could be the end of the world.

  7. Patrickon 23 Apr 2009 at 9:48 am

    I had an idea once……

    It’s called a “JUMP” to conclusions mat!

  8. You Just Made My List!on 23 Apr 2009 at 9:57 am

    Patrick, you are living proof that dreams do come true.

  9. Chevy Chaseon 23 Apr 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Never heard of it till now… And I could see how this would be a good idea, a DIY Mystery Science Theater 3000, however, there are just a few things wrong with this.

    1. You’re letting any old idiot in the world chime in. And as with any chatrooms, you have 12-year-old men and people who just simply aren’t very funny. And imagine, the clusterfuck of “Royale With Cheese” texts you’d get as a horde of assholes are firebombing Pulp Fiction punchlines.
    2. Spoken word or even scripted text messages beforehand might work, but not everyone can type that fast. Often, you’ll have people responding to something that happened five seconds ago.
    3. Again, too many comedy novices would be involved. Although I might like it for about ten minutes just to see the stupid shit people write (I can only imagine Schindler’s List night), and to riff on my own, because everyone thinks they are comedy legends.

    This thing reminds me a bit too much of Rifftrax, from some of the MST3K guys. Essentially, they take a more successful movie, like Titanic or Jurassic Park (no more B-movie cheese whiz), snip off the original audio, and MST3K it up. Fine in theory, but MST3K was always something I would only put on when there was nothing else on TV… And with Rifftrax, you have to pay $29.95 plus shipping for a DVD copy (licensing and shit).

    Lastly, MuVChat? Is the domain name forest that bare?

  10. Denzel Washingtonon 23 Apr 2009 at 6:47 pm

    That’s racist.

  11. Munchieson 23 Apr 2009 at 10:32 pm

    The fuck?

    I don’t get it.