Apr 24 2009

Talk Like Shakespeare (or whatever) Day!

Published by at 3:10 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

william shakespeare

I should have written about this yesterday, since it was actually Talk Like Shakespeare Day, but I was too busy talking like an adult and doing adult things. As far as I know, this bullshit only took place in Chicago but you can waste your time trying to figure it out at talklikeshakespeare.org.

I kind of feel like a jerk for hating “fun” stuff like this but I can’t help it, I just do. Remember International Talk Like a Pirate Day? I hated that just as much, maybe more. So, on Talk Like a Pirate Day do you talk exclusively like a drunken Arrrrgh-style pirate or can you also talk like the pirates from Somalia? What do they say? I think it’s mostly stuff like “I’m going to kill you and dump your body in the ocean.” FUN!

The main reasons I hate things like Talk Like Shakespeare Day is because I used to have to do graphic design for crap like this and I was always amazed at the amount of wasted time that went into these misguided campaigns. Imagine spending weeks working late and taking conference calls with well-meaning poisonous bunch-back’d toads (their website suggests saying that instead of cursing) about Talk Like Shakespeare Day. No seriously, sit back and imagine it, I will wait…

Horrifying? Methinks yes.

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13 comments so far

13 comments to “Talk Like Shakespeare (or whatever) Day!”

  1. Kieron Mooreon 24 Apr 2009 at 4:50 am

    i cant wait for world talk like an english man day… i would sooooo kick arse at that.

    although that sounds like a retarded day to have… sounds pointless and has no reason, apart to make the people taking part sound like they have special needs.

  2. guilty noodleson 24 Apr 2009 at 8:37 am

    wow, i’m so out of it, i had no idea all this was going down. thank you, listy! why do i feel more hip after hitting your site?

  3. Tommyon 24 Apr 2009 at 11:14 am

    because you’re a square gn

  4. hodanon 24 Apr 2009 at 1:16 pm

    i’ve heard of Talk Like a Pirate Day, but never talk like Shakespeare. what’s the difference?! they both sound stupid.how about talk like an American ALL the time day, the Canadians are doing it.lol

  5. guilty noodleson 24 Apr 2009 at 3:10 pm

    thanks, tommy. i’ve always been a square.

  6. neishon 24 Apr 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Hodan- I think you’re mistaken, it’s American’s who talk like Canadians, you just don’t know it…

  7. icecycle66on 24 Apr 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Can the be a “Don’t be a Moron Day” or perhaps a “Punch the Fuck Out Idiots Week”?

    You know what, those are stupid too. Fuck these days, weeks, and months. I don’t need a women, black, or latino memorial month to know that these people are important. Shit, plain American white dudes don’t get even a day of recognition. I guess that’s what they get for dictating to me what days I am supposed to celebrate something on, assholes.

    I don’t need Columbus Day to remember some Italian guy who got paid by the Spanish to discover and subsequently steal a country that’s named after guy who had never been there that already belonged to the British.

    Some don’t even make any sense. Christmas is for the birth of Christ and we get that day off, but the only reason He was born was so He could die (supposedly) and we don’t get Easter off. What the fuck?

    Why does there have to be a designated day for every minority or individual about there? Why do I have to wait until the week after Easter to celebrate egg salad. What if I want to celebrate it on August 3rd, I guess I’m just fuck out of luck. Wait ‘till next year asshole, is what the Egg Salad Week society tells me. Well you know what, screw’em.

    Why can’t it just fucking be Tuesday?

  8. Munchieson 24 Apr 2009 at 7:23 pm

    Wow, tell us how you really feel IceCycle!

  9. justapersonon 26 Apr 2009 at 11:59 am

    icecycle66 is right on point

  10. Ayeeeeon 26 Apr 2009 at 8:13 pm

    Guy Fieri Loves Pirates

  11. ButteryPaton 27 Apr 2009 at 2:51 am


    Really? I haven’t met too many retarded people that talk like Shakespeare. Do they share his grasp of iambic pentameter?

    That does it! Prepare for a most damaging rhyming couplet!

    So saith I to Kieron of Moore,
    Thy breath be maladorious…uh…and your mother a whore!

    Feel the wrath of my ironic hipness!

  12. ButteryPaton 27 Apr 2009 at 2:54 am

    By the way, plain American white dudes get recognition every fucking day of the year. That’s the funniest part about Black History Month…well except for the fact that they made it the shortest month of the year. It’s pretty much an open admission that every other month is White History Month.

  13. ButteryPaton 27 Apr 2009 at 2:59 am

    Sorry for the now-triple post, but hey, you could use more comments anyway. Just wanted to add that the bit about egg salad week was one of the funniest fucking things I’ve read in days.