Jun 29 2008
I’ve been redoing a lot of landscaping in my yard lately and usually mix cow manure into the soil. I don’t even use gloves sometimes, I love it that much. I bought some shrubs the other day from a nursery that did not sell manure because of “mad cow disease” (huh?) but they recommended I try cotton burr by Back to Nature. OK, fine. When I pulled my car around to the pick up area I was floored by the unbelievable bad breath seeping from the guy’s mouth who loaded the compost into my car. I was 5 feet from the guy and it was windy but I could still smell his ass mouth.
Moving on, I got into my car and soon realized the intense smell was actually coming from that piece of shit (ironic because I actually wanted to buy shit) cotton burr and not from the decent young man I failed to tip. Believe me when I tell you, without exaggeration, that this was easily one of the foulest smells I have ever experienced.
Let me see if I can describe it for you… imagine going to a Phish concert and capturing the bad breath of every filthy hippie in some sort of bad breath vacuum. Now get in your car and drive to the nearest Korn concert and suck up a little more bad breath. Now imagine that ungodly mixture of air is your only source of oxygen for a 15 minute car ride. Keep in mind the bag was closed, all of my windows were open and I was driving with my head out the window and I still had to literally fight back barf. I was longing for the smell of cow shit the entire way home.
I hate you cotton burr compost, I HATE YOU!