Jun 08 2009

Beds with too many bullshit pillows!

Published by at 3:25 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

too many bed pillows

This is my biggest nightmare.

I am not a fan of fussy interior design, especially when it is taken to such an extreme. What kind of a psychotic maniac wants to spend 45 minutes every night excavating through a pile of pillows like some earthquake rescue worker? Oh and guess what, you get to spend most of your morning replacing these functionless pillows in just the right order while the rest of us normal people sleep in until the last possible second before work.

These pillow people are obviously unstable and could snap at any moment. Move one pillow out of order and you’ve got another Jeffrey Dahmer on your ass. Yeah, that’s right, these horrible pillow people are worse than Osama Bin Laden!

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9 comments so far

9 comments to “Beds with too many bullshit pillows!”

  1. joeon 08 Jun 2009 at 6:51 am

    im yours. and you. are. mine.

  2. LLGon 08 Jun 2009 at 8:04 am

    I tried to join the pillow people once, because you know Home & Garden might ONE DAY suddenly stop by and demand to take photos of my low to middle-class estate! So you need to have forty-six pillows on your bed, your dining room table must always be set, and there needs to be a bowl of fruit SOMEWHERE in your liviing room. But it turns out I don’t have the patience for Home & Garden. I figure if magazines are going to stop airbrushing models in an attempt to embrace “reality”, Home & Garden can discover dirty dishes in my sink and an unmade bed.

  3. Great Oden's Ravenon 08 Jun 2009 at 8:10 am

    I’ll admit that I have 5 functioning pillows on my bed. The other 4 decorative ones remain on the floor until a few minutes before I know good company is coming ie: my parents. Oh and those decorative pillows match what is now the ruined bedspread that sits in a laundry basket in my garage. Oh well

  4. SanFranon 08 Jun 2009 at 10:25 am

    Pillow People and Cat People are one and the same, in my estimation.

    Piles of pillows pisses me off – I usually wind up crawling into bed shortly after my brain has fallen asleep, so the complexities of all this fru-fru bullshit can fuck me up adequately as to wake up feeling angry – angry at the pillows, the task of stacking them just-so, and angry at the pillow person who ruined my morning.

    I want to start a Pillow People Fight!

  5. Xinaon 08 Jun 2009 at 11:00 am

    I’ve always wanted to be a pillow person but laziness prevents me from being so. That’s the same reason why I’m not a stalker. There are lots of things that laziness prevents me from doing. Bad for me, good for the world in general.

  6. icecycle66on 08 Jun 2009 at 11:28 am

    These are the same assholes that tell you not to use the towel hanging right next to the sink, and that you are supposed to use the ones in the cabinet next to the tub across the room. What a bunch of ass-cramps.

  7. Newmanon 09 Jun 2009 at 9:05 am

    This is a deal breaker! Thanks for reminding me. I would divorce if someone became a pillow person without consulting me, I would break-up over it, and I would even ask about pillow piles before setting up a first date, that’s how much this bugs.

  8. […] skin off you will have just enough time to reflect on all the time you wasted carefully placing 20 pillows on your bed every morning. You will beg God for another chance to live life to the fullest but your […]

  9. Maxon 30 Sep 2012 at 2:01 pm

    There is no such thing as a functionless pillow.