Jun 10 2009
Reactions to the new Twilight trailer!
OK, this is a total cop out post because my computer is going to be crunching something big for the next several hours and I only have a couple minutes to post something. I’m also super tired from a nap. I hate naps. Have I written about naps before? I think so. Fuck you, naps!
Anyhoo, my cousin sent this video to me a few hours ago and I am still trying to locate my balls, which promptly crawled deep into my body after only about 15 seconds of viewing these freaks losing their shit over the new Twilight trailer.
If you have ears and balls, prepare to fight the urge to remove all 4 of them.
This whole Twilight shit is getting outta hand. I have to preface everything I’m about to say by letting you know I live with 3 females. I watched the movie, I had no choice really. The movie was good. I bought all four books for my woman because she ‘needed’ them. When the trailer came out she had a light in her eyes I don’t think I’ve ever seen before and I was informed that we WILL be going to see it in the theater. These girls are off the chain about this freakin movie and seeing them “lose their shit” is possibly the funnest thing I will see today.
I’m not going to lie. A part of me wishes I was a big fat girl, a gay guy or a virgin so I could actually give a shit about all of this. Sadly, I’m none of the above and I’m forced to be excited about being female, thin and sexually active. Damn ye fates!!!! Oh wait a second, good job ye fates!!!!
Xina – If you could only be a fat, lesbian virgin! All your dreams would come true.
Not only all your fat lesbian virgin dreams but mine also.
If only….alas Xina.
I’m fat, and i’m a lesbian trapped in a mans body….Maybe I should check out these movies…..
This is probably more exercise than most of these fatty-mcfatsters have gotten in all their years!
I still don’t understand. Is this some new Twilight Zone or something? I’m so out of touch, and like it that way.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh, I already said that.
Oh Jason, stop teasing me! I’ve already let Listy know to great extent how badly I want to lock my ankles around your ears!!!!
This is quickly becoming an x-rated blog. First Joe wanted to do various horrible things to me and now Xina is ready to do unholy things to Jason. You all need to read you bibles tonight!
I smoked my only copy in college, page for page.
*actually, the bible just ain’t for me. I guess I don’t really like fiction that much.
I challenge you all to try teaching to sixth-grade girls obsessed with Twilight: carting the entire series of books around for no reason, wearing the same Twilight t-shirts for days on end, and writing their own vampire romances shared in installments – like Dickens used to publish novels. All fine, except, has anyone actually read through this shit? It’s awful! I thumbed through it looking for at least a good vampire fuck scene to justify the girls’ devotion, but no luck. Just vapid prose, no action. I shudder at the thought of sitting through the movie. And just to clarify, I’m a gay and was unaware this series had tragically ensnared my demographic, but I don’t get a lot of the gay stuff nowadays. And I seriously doubt that overweight lesbians are into the book. They’d be more likely to jump into a vampira-romance with more sex. Someone needs to fill that genre right quick. I may adopt a pseudonym and start writing about chunky butch vampires looking for love in the after nightfall. “It was a dark and steamy night…”
I’m glad there are no speakers on this computer at work. I hate anyone who gets excited about anything ever.
I’ve read the first two books (the first because I was forced, the second because I couldn’t quite believe THIS was making someone a whole lot of money) and watched the movie. Because, to quote, “It’s alot better than you think…”
And it is. Because I thought the first chapter would kill me off right. But it’s just perfect for that angsty-why-don’t-the-boys-like-me-i’m-weird-looking-too pre-teen girls.
But the movie… god help me. I’d rather let John McCain lick my toes (You know the old fiend likes his foot fetish) than EVER sit through that again.
PS (for shits & giggles):
A twenty-five year old friend of mine (who, god love her, just hasn’t aged past 12) once updated her facebook status to: I’m just waiting for my Edward.
I pissed myself laughing at that.
They’re just waiting for their Edward….to suck that fat out of them.
Look I got to admit I made the same quick hands to my mouth and giddy clapping when I found out Futurama is comming back today.
I just did that when i read that sara THANKS!
Jesus Christ obesity is a real problem in this country. There’s no reason a teenage girl should have batwing flab under her arms
Wasn’t the first movie just released a couple months ago?
Hey, fat girls need excitement, too! I’m more concerned that a shitty writer like Meyer is making a million+ dollars, while some truly talented writers suffer depression and low self-esteem. (Personal experience! Oh, and I’m fat. It’s a lose-lose situation.)