Jul 13 2009

English subtitles for English-speaking people on English-speaking TV!

Published by at 3:35 am under Sucky TV

english subtitles

Remember the good old days when Americans could not only speak English but also understand it when spoken? Are we really this dumb?

English subtitles for English-speaking people used to only be reserved for soccer hooligans on BBC America and Oasis interviews, but now it’s commonplace to see subtitles used for Americans on American television! Should we not be worried that TV programs feel the need to use subtitles under people from fucking Florida? FLORIDA! Oh god, I feel a rage spiral coming on.

I need a nap.

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21 comments so far

21 comments to “English subtitles for English-speaking people on English-speaking TV!”

  1. jasonon 13 Jul 2009 at 5:25 am

    Listy, as you and some others know, I live in Florida. It is very appropriate that Disney World is here because each day when I go to the gas station, the supermarket, Wal-freakin-Mart, I meet many people from other cultures that cannot speak the language. I visit my children’s school and I meet teachers that tell me spelling isn’t that important anymore. I’m sure they are from another planet! I meet people through the course of my work that appear to look very much like me and I think, ‘at last here is someone that I will understand and will in turn understand me’. Then, they begin to speak, and I realize I have been tricked again! It truely is a different place here. I’m surprised the U.S. has not detonated a series of explosions at the north border of Florida and then pushed the state off into the ocean.

  2. Xinaon 13 Jul 2009 at 6:00 am

    Florida is an odd place. As you know, I too am from America’s wang. One half of the state is so hick it’s a wonder you can understand anything they say around their cousin’s tongue and the other half seems to have a thick cuban accent.

    My dad is from the hillbilly part of Florida and my mom is from a lovely little town in Connecticut. I remember being young and listening to both of them talk and deciding how I would sound. Thanks to my mom I am a Florida native with a noticable New England accent. I mostly use it to sound snooty and better than others. Not too difficult in most of Florida.

    However, I for one an a huge fan of making Florida it’s own island. Who the fuck wants to touch Georgia?!

  3. Joeon 13 Jul 2009 at 10:05 am

    You know America is predominantly Spanish, right? That and the shit Cajuns call a language and New Yorkers so-called English, I’d say I’m in the minority. Plus, Californians like penii, they can’t even speak long enough to develop a language their mouths are always stuffed full of kielbasas.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 13 Jul 2009 at 10:09 am

    My dad lives in Florida so I am painfully aware of what a weird state it is. Is Key West normal? I have always wanted to go there.

  5. jasonon 13 Jul 2009 at 11:09 am

    If by normal you mean a BIG GAY drunken island, then, yes it is completely normal. I’m not gay nor have I ever been gay, but I’m not a homophobe either. I don’t care one way or another who a person beds down with as long as it’s not in my bed. I am however a bit uncomfortable with pda and there is alot of pda there and a large majority of it is gay. A light peck here and there is ok but full blown make out is not my cup of tea. It can be quite crowded depending on time of day and season which contributes to my discomfort with the pda. I don’t like walking around and being in constant physical contact with strangers. Especially strangers with lots of makeup. I’m afraid they will ruin my new Dick’s t-shirt!

  6. hodanon 13 Jul 2009 at 11:17 am

    just because Florida is the armpit of America doesn’t mean you can diss it! there is no place as entertaining as Florida…Ohio comes close but that’s about it.and this is coming from a Bostonian!

    wait, if you can’t understand spoken English…how can you read it?

  7. Neishon 13 Jul 2009 at 1:16 pm

    I remember seeing a cheerios commercial that in Canada was played with the original British actors speaking, then I turn the channel and the same commercial is dubbed in American English. And I wondered why Americans couldn’t just understand British English but now this revelation sums it up nicely.

  8. SanFranon 13 Jul 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Regarding Jason’s comment on Key West: I’d like to point out a study that sampled from two groups of men: those who claimed to not be homophobic, and those who classified themselves as homophobes…

    Next, they hooked everybody up (not at once, obviously) to a penile plethysmograph (measures arousal) and also to various other vital measurement tools, and then showed everybody erotic & homo-erotic images & video. While both groups were about equally aroused by hetero- and lesbian-erotica, the self-proclaimed homophobes experienced more arousal when shown homo-erotic imagery. Here’s a link to a .PDF of the synopsis: http://www.holysmoke.org/temp/homophobia_and_homosexual_arousal.pdf

    Jason: I’m not trying to pick on you here – just when you had to make it clear that you were not gay, nor homophobic, yet had to point out how gay Key West was and that you don’t like what you see there, I recalled reading this study some time ago and thought I’d share.

    Listy: Don’t even get me started on Captioning… I’m smack dab in the middle of a huge project that requires captioning in three languages to over 4000 media assets. Making it more difficult still is the content: Calculus & Trigonometry.

    Captioning be damned!!!! (but it is a healthy revenue stream for me, so I guess it’s OK).

  9. hodanon 13 Jul 2009 at 4:16 pm

    so SanFran, what yer saying is Jason is a gay homophobe?!

  10. Paul in St. Paulon 13 Jul 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Anything that tricks America into reading can’t be all bad. My brother and his wife have it on all the time so that can watch the shows and still follow them over a screaming infant.

    And Jason, rather than pick on you for the gay PDA discomfort – and I would pay money to watch you watch Brüno – I’ll just stick to spelling, as I’m one of the teachers who still thinks it’s important. “Truely” needs to lose the e at the end. A little beyond spelling, you need “double quotation marks” not ‘single quotes’ to express your direct thoughts. Also, the period should follow the quotation marks, not precede them.

    I know Listman has high orthographic standards for his blog, and I’m don’t have time for the Key West conversation. Brüno has already visited the South and taken care of this.

  11. Paul in St. Paulon 13 Jul 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Oops, I mean the period should precede the quotation marks, not follow them. That’s what I get for being snotty.

  12. jasonon 14 Jul 2009 at 5:37 am

    I realized when I wrote my response to Listy question about Key West that some of the people that visit the blog are gay, Paul in St. Paul, and that saying Big Gay I could possibly offend some of those people, Hodan.
    That is why I mentioned that I am not a homophobe. The pda is what makes me uncomfortable and not so much the gay relations there. I certainly didn’t intend to offend I was only trying to relate how “normal” Key West is and if you have ever visited there you can attest. “I am not gay nor have I ever been gay” is a quote from the politician caught in the bathroom foot tapping the guy next to him. It was intended as a joke, hodan. It’s nice to see you can Paul didn’t lose the message of what I was trying to say through my poor spelling and grammar or my poor attempt at humor.

    Thanks for the grammar and spelling check Paul. I’m sure I will take it to heart and use it as a guiding light for the rest of my days.

  13. Peteon 14 Jul 2009 at 7:16 am

    OMG look at Chachi with his purposefully-swept-forward-hair and chic necklace. And he reproduced.

    There is no hope for humanity.

  14. Paul in St. Paulon 14 Jul 2009 at 9:08 am

    Honestly, Jason, I’m uncomfortable with excessive PDA no matter who’s doing it, a quality my brother and I share that I think was instilled in us by a stiff Protestant upbringing and a family that was short on physical affection. So I probably wouldn’t enjoy the Key West spectacle either. I do think gays go overboard at places like Key West because they’re making up for what they can’t do when they’re in the mainstream. And for what it’s worth, I find contemporary Pride Parades kind of embarrassing. I actually empathize, though from a different perspective.

    My proofreading brain seldom shuts off due to too many years of marking papers. I should be happy to be on hiatus from that right now, but I keep grasping for the red pen.

  15. Paul in St. Paulon 14 Jul 2009 at 9:18 am

    Another note on captioning, the kind that you can select, not that is imposed on you: a number of my students and their families who speak English as a second language use it to better follow dialogue and news reporting. The print clarifies or verifies what they’re hearing.

    I believe one use of captioning, which I’ll call “drunk captioning,” is my favorite. I’ve seen it a few times used on shows like COPS when the apprehended person is too drunk or high to form coherent sounds in English.

  16. hodanon 14 Jul 2009 at 9:26 am

    jason, you didn’t offend me, I’m not even gay. SanFran’s explanation made me LOL.

  17. ButteryPaton 14 Jul 2009 at 5:00 pm

    Right? It’s retarded. You have no idea how often I scream at my television “they’re speaking my language, assholes! I understand what they’re saying!” Anybody who has the slightest bit of an accent now gets subtitled. I really hope people from other countries don’t know about this.

  18. Jenon 15 Jul 2009 at 10:27 pm

    @ Paul in St. Paul: that happens to me all the time when I correct people, even when I’m not trying to be snotty! Yeah, man, solidarity! (???)

    Oh, and Listy: you are filled with nature’s awesomeness. Thank you for being you 🙂 <3

  19. Jenon 15 Jul 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Ah shitballs! I thought that damned < and 3 would make a heart. Goddman kids and their stupid signs!

  20. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:24 am

    Jen, it’s OK, I accept your love with or without the proper smilely.

  21. Jenon 17 Jul 2009 at 11:30 am

    Thanks, Listy!

    *giggles and runs off with friends* Listy talked to me! 😀