Jul 16 2009

Child movie reviewers at KidsPickFlicks.com!

Published by at 3:45 am under Why?!?,Your Movie Stinks


Remember the good old days when kids’ opinions were meaningless? I miss the days when a child sharing his opinion would result in a beer can to the head. OK, I don’t actually think you should throw beer at children. It’s obviously wrong to beat a child and it’s even worse to waste beer.

Believe it or not, I actually really like kids. I think a lot of children are totally awesome, and in many ways, I relate to them more than I do my fellow adults. HOWEVER, that does not mean I need to hear their opinions about the latest crappy crap that some movie studio crapped out of their craphole.

Here’s my problem with this concept. Have you ever heard a “real” kid NOT like a movie? They fucking love everything as long as it’s not too scary or boring. What KidsPickFlicks.com does though is give these brats an inflated sense of themselves and suddenly Kung Fu Panda lacks adequate character development. I actually have another problem with this website. Take a look at the reviews and tell me they were really written by children. It’s obvious adults have their hands in the mix. I actually think a website of real kids reviewing movies in their own words without editing would be fun to read.

I know, I’m mean.

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14 comments so far

14 comments to “Child movie reviewers at KidsPickFlicks.com!”

  1. Joeon 16 Jul 2009 at 6:36 am

    kung fu panda character development shits in your mouth.

  2. Joeon 16 Jul 2009 at 7:31 am

    guys! stop wearing crocs you assholes!

  3. Saraon 16 Jul 2009 at 7:49 am

    you throw EMPTY beer cans at the dumbass

  4. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:17 am

    Joe scares me but I can’t look away. I rarely know what he’s even talking about.

    Joe, should I worry about you? Is there a chance you will actually kill me? Please don’t.

  5. Joeon 16 Jul 2009 at 8:34 am

    sara, empty beer cans don’t hurt…just throw the unopened ones and have the little dumbass bring it back to open it for you.

    list dude, i think you’d be surprised at what i’m doing when i post here..basically i get to see a lot of guys wearing crocs. you shouldn’t worry, but i never say never.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jul 2009 at 8:40 am

    Joe – Now I’m intrigued! What is this mysterious job that forces you to look at fat male feet in disgusting Crocs? I’m guessing you operate a roller coaster at an amusement park. Either that or you work with retarded people.

  7. Joeon 16 Jul 2009 at 9:49 am

    I deal with retarded people all day, and you’re close, it’s right across the street from an amusement park.

  8. T-Ravon 16 Jul 2009 at 10:34 am

    I know it’s off-topic,but Joe’s right,Crocs,as well as Uggs both have to go.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jul 2009 at 10:42 am

    Crocs have been on my list almost from the beginning…



  10. Saraon 16 Jul 2009 at 11:44 am

    My babysitter bought my kid a pair of crocs and I pitched them. My kid kept falling over his own feet in those damn clown shoes

  11. Joeon 16 Jul 2009 at 11:45 am

    Yea, seeing so many on men made me think about this site, so that exlains that. Basically, I’m a not-so-social guy who gets paid to be social at a front desk, dealing with annoying old bitches and ignorantly rude assholes and their untrained children, so you can see why I might want to kill someone in their sleep at times. At first I just read here to pass time, then I used it to vent in my strange ways. It helps put a smile on my face. So thanks for the awesome blog. (never thought i’d ever say that last sentence…)

  12. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jul 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Sara – I hope you fired her!

    Joe – Please feel free to continue discussing my pending rape and murder. A day with a threat from Joe is a sad day.

  13. Taraon 24 Aug 2009 at 8:20 am

    Hey Joe!

    I came across your interesting if somewhat hateful take on our site KidsPickFlicks.com. The site was created by a 9-year old who was frustrated with reviews by middle-aged movie critics on movies that seem to be made for kids. It teaches critical and independent thinking and fosters the writing skills kids are learning in school. The site isn’t designed for adults who don’t have children.

    The great thing about KidsPickFlicks.com is that the reviews are really from the kids, not written by adults (except for the parent reviews). Our chief reviewer is 11 and is a brilliant budding journalist, currently working on her first book. The site’s founder is now 14 and is also well spoken. The site’s president is 8 and writes like an 8-year old. As Editor, I do clean up grammatical errors and typos as any editor would. The reviews that come in from other kids are left as is.

    Thanks for the mention.

  14. You Just Made My List!on 24 Aug 2009 at 8:40 am

    Tara – I’m not Joe. Please don’t think I am that psycho!

    I was just kind of kidding around with this post about your site. I save most of my real passion for my hatred of Guy Fieri. I think it’s cool that kids are doing something that does not involve video games but I have to be honest, when I hear about an 11-year-old working on her first book it kind of bugs me. I like kids who are a little less ambitious and slightly more stupid. When kids start acting like adults it creeps me out. What if they take over the world and elect the Jonas Brothers as our new world leaders? You can’t trust those little SOBs, we need to make sure they are dumber than us!

    I’m sure all the kids at your site are great and will go on to be more successful than me. Maybe that’s why I don’t like them 🙂