Jul 29 2009

Men’s jeans with pocket flaps!

Published by at 3:30 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

mens jeans pocket flaps

No, no, no, no, no, no! Never do this this to yourself. For the love of god, have some self respect.

Unless you are worried about pickpockets or losing your change while doing a handstand at your friend’s shitty wedding (see Jill the whore and Kevin’s wedding video) there is no reason a man should ever have dainty flaps on his jean pockets. Now you reply in an annoying voice, “but it’s fashion, I’m just trying to look cool.” God, I hate your voice. Listen, I understand wanting to look good but the trick to looking good as a guy is to look like you aren’t trying too hard. Actually, you shouldn’t really try too hard.

Stick with the basics and you can avoid looking back at old photos with shame from all the trends you followed over the years. Sadly, I did not learn this until my early 20s and have college photos of me, a skinny suburban white kid, dressed as a member of De La Soul. I could often be found looking like an extra on “Do The Right Thing.” Luckily, I did not dress hip hoppy every day, but I did it enough to feel ashamed for the rest of my life.

I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you, but if you are a guy who wears jeans with pocket flaps, you need to be aware that the world looks at your fancy ass and says, “That guy is gay.” If you are a gay man who wears these jeans, the world is looking at you and saying, “That gay guy is wearing those straight guy gay pants.” In either scenario you are being horribly misunderstood.

In summation, your pocket flap pants are douchey and your douchey ass is douchey for wearing them you douchebag.

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14 comments so far

14 comments to “Men’s jeans with pocket flaps!”

  1. Xinaon 29 Jul 2009 at 5:51 am

    I’ve never had much of an ass so I wear jeans like this to give the impression that I rocking something back there. But a man, with pocket flap? I say good day sir! This shows up right before the locusts and right after the one world currancy I think.

    Perhaps someone should design jeans with a pocket flap in the front, over their crotch, to make it seem as though they actually have a cock instead of an inverted bellybutton dick. Douches indeed.

  2. jasonon 29 Jul 2009 at 5:57 am

    Xina, you don’t have an ass? My fantasy image of you is somehow lessoned as I am an ass man and in my longings you have a beautiful perfect round apple bottom and like just the lightest of spankings.

    If you have a penis and wear these pants you forfeit the opportunity to put it in a vagina. Be men and wear practical jeans. Truely it’s what women want and like about men.

  3. mikeon 29 Jul 2009 at 10:31 am

    Ha ha! don’t forget the graphic tees with crosses and shit all over them. awful.

    Men. wear normal fitting jeans, normal plain tee/vneck shirts, normal (jean/leather)jacket, normal shoes. that’s it. don’t add, don’t take away. never goes out of style. note james dean.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 29 Jul 2009 at 10:43 am

    Mike – I was actually going to mention James Dean as an example. Yep, Jeans and T-shirts will pretty much keep you looking good forever. Don’t forget a few good suits too. Almost any man looks good in a nice suit.

    And to your point about graphic tees – http://www.youjustmademylist.com/?p=1263

  5. Tommyon 29 Jul 2009 at 10:51 am

    Thank you listy. It’s about time someone stood up against this.

  6. Xinaon 29 Jul 2009 at 11:35 am

    Jason- Sorry to disappoint but I’m not an ass man’s dream. I, however, do rock an amazing pair of tits and love to be spanked. But it’s funny, in my fantasy of you you had a huge cock and no children. I guess we’ve both been let down.

  7. You Just Made My List!on 29 Jul 2009 at 11:38 am

    The sexual tension between Xina and Jason is making my designer jeans tight!

  8. Xinaon 29 Jul 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Go ahead and open your crotch flap Listy.

  9. jasonon 29 Jul 2009 at 1:37 pm

    I don’t know about huge Xina, but when I run naked both thighs get a red mark all the way across. Does that count?

    I’m not disappointed in the least. The amazing pair of tits and loving to be spanked really make up for not being “an ass man’s dream”. I was never married to the idea of you having an apple ass and since you have supplied additional detail I will adjust my fantasy accordingly and will be looking for any additional information you wish to share.

    Listy, I have always been a bit of an exhibitionist so, go ahead and open the flap and enjoy the Xina and Jason show!

  10. Xinaon 29 Jul 2009 at 2:13 pm

    Jason, where and why are you running naked? That just seems uncomfortable.

  11. jasonon 30 Jul 2009 at 5:21 am

    You have never been dared to streak? I may be the only one dumb enough to do it at a large function with a couple thousand people but other than making my cock sore from slapping against my thighs and my thighs welted from being cock whipped it was fun.

    I’ve done lots of things naked for the record.

    Streaking at an atheltic event.
    water skiing
    skinny dipping
    naked hiking
    naked hide and go seek(strictly a one on one game though)

  12. AvantGon 09 Jul 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Tell me you guys live in the Midwest somewhere, or north Florida and then maybe. Stuck in the 90’s?

  13. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jul 2010 at 1:39 pm

    AvantG – Stuck in your trendy douchebag pants?

  14. nobrunon 19 Aug 2012 at 4:08 am

    Old post. I know. I’m not even sure how I ended up here but I am here.
    Men were wearing pants with back-pocket flaps long before women decided they wanted to wear pants too and a lot longer before women decided they wanted to own the flaps. They were, and still are, practical in some professions like the military and law enforcement.
    So enhance your ass all you want with your flaps. I’ll do what I may with mine – and boy do I look good in them!