Jul 29 2009
No, no, no, no, no, no! Never do this this to yourself. For the love of god, have some self respect.
Unless you are worried about pickpockets or losing your change while doing a handstand at your friend’s shitty wedding (see Jill the whore and Kevin’s wedding video) there is no reason a man should ever have dainty flaps on his jean pockets. Now you reply in an annoying voice, “but it’s fashion, I’m just trying to look cool.” God, I hate your voice. Listen, I understand wanting to look good but the trick to looking good as a guy is to look like you aren’t trying too hard. Actually, you shouldn’t really try too hard.
Stick with the basics and you can avoid looking back at old photos with shame from all the trends you followed over the years. Sadly, I did not learn this until my early 20s and have college photos of me, a skinny suburban white kid, dressed as a member of De La Soul. I could often be found looking like an extra on “Do The Right Thing.” Luckily, I did not dress hip hoppy every day, but I did it enough to feel ashamed for the rest of my life.
I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you, but if you are a guy who wears jeans with pocket flaps, you need to be aware that the world looks at your fancy ass and says, “That guy is gay.” If you are a gay man who wears these jeans, the world is looking at you and saying, “That gay guy is wearing those straight guy gay pants.” In either scenario you are being horribly misunderstood.
In summation, your pocket flap pants are douchey and your douchey ass is douchey for wearing them you douchebag.
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