Aug 04 2009

Nut allergies!

Published by at 3:42 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

peanut allergy

When did every kid become allergic to everything? When I was a kid growing up in the 70’s, I don’t remember ever being asked if I was allergic to nuts, or anything else, before being handed a cookie by a friend’s mom. In fact, that cookie was probably presented to me with a big cloud of cigarette smoke blown in my face. “Here are some cookies kids, now go outside and play with some fire or something, mommy needs a nap.”

I never even HEARD of a nut allergy until the 90s! All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I’m being told a tiny whiff of peanut air can literally kill some kids. Not just some kids, it seems like every kid has some sort of food allergy now. I don’t want to live in a world where children have to fear a delicious PB&J samich. My biggest fear as a child was that disco might one day ruin the band Kiss… WHICH IT DID! Later, in Jr. High, my biggest fear was my penis becoming erect in class… WHICH IT DID!

This is not a rant against the kids who happen to have nut allergies, rather it’s about how fucked up and complicated it is to be a kid now. For the most part, I think parents today make life for their kids way too complicated, but then there’s weird shit like nut allergies and autism that seem to be all the rage now. Man, I feel so lucky to have grown up in a time where my biggest concern was memorizing the pattern to every Pac-Man screen… WHICH I DID!

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26 comments so far

26 comments to “Nut allergies!”

  1. Xinaon 04 Aug 2009 at 5:32 am

    I have a nut allergy. Not to peanuts or anything though. It only started to hinder my life once I became an adult. I take it day by day. My boyfriend is very understanding.

  2. jasonon 04 Aug 2009 at 5:37 am

    I’m not a big Chris Rock fan, as a matter of fact I just not a fan of his, but he makes a really good point. I recently heard him say that starving children in Africa don’t have this allergy. Starving people are only allergic to not having food.

    Side note, for a very short time I was allergic to chocolate. I’m horribly pshchologically scarred for the experienced.

  3. jasonon 04 Aug 2009 at 5:39 am

    Xina, I hope you’re not allergic to dees.

  4. Xinaon 04 Aug 2009 at 6:03 am

    Des nuts are what set me off the worst.

    That, and stupid, dated jokes.

    Sorry Jason.

  5. Saraon 04 Aug 2009 at 6:57 am

    I’m allergic to red dye. Which sucked as a kid when everyone ran in from playing to down a tall glass o’ Kool Aid I was handed water. They make BLUE cool aid you know! It makes me feverish and aggitated, I once bit a kid…you know maybe it wasnt such a bad allergy after all.

    You got nuts on the wall what are they?…wallnuts
    You got nuts on your chest what are they?…..chestnuts
    You got nuts on your chin are they chinnuts?

  6. 8bitheroon 04 Aug 2009 at 7:09 am

    I have been saying this for years now. Every child everywhere seems to have a nut allergy with a strong dose of autism.

    I honestly believe that it is the parents suffering from Munchausen Syndrome by proxy.

    Parents today are too overprotective anyway. Bike helmets? When I was a kid, those were only worn by the “special” kids with the drooling problems and tiny backpacks. If we fell on our bikes, we cracked our head and learned to ride better. Locking cleaning supplies? If Mister Yuck is doing his damned job, you don’t need to. (Can you even get those stickers anymore?) Is my kid allergic to something? I dunno, let him eat it and find out. I know the number for 911.

    Now I am a father of 2 boys (6 and 4) and they are constantly smashing their faces on pavement and feeding their knee and elbow skin to trees. They cry for a second and carry on like little troopers.

    My kids will be the tough ones at school. Not because they are tough, but because ALL the other children will have become so pussified by their overprotective parents.

    My kids will seem like the god damned X-Men by comparison.

  7. Peteon 04 Aug 2009 at 7:29 am

    You ain’t kidding, brother. It’s WAY too complicated to be a child nowadays. Whether they want to be or not, kids are coddled and overprotected. Everything’s too goddamned sterile and safe. I can’t remember the last time I saw a child with a nice, healthy bloody gash on his or her knee from FALLING OFF A BICYCLE. It just doesn’t happen anymore. Incidentally, bike helmets are f*cking gay. If you sustain brain damage from falling off a bike, you deserve it.

  8. Jeffon 04 Aug 2009 at 7:48 am

    You totally did not know what to do after the 32nd key.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 04 Aug 2009 at 8:56 am

    Xina & Jason – The sexual tension continues to build!

    Sara – I love that red dye turns you into the Hulk!

    8bit – I agree most little kids are huge pussies now thanks to overly protective/concerned parents. But then for some reason, when they become teens they all think they are straight outta Compton. Teens think they are so bad ass now.

    Pete – “Incidentally, bike helmets are f*cking gay.” That cracked me up.

    Jeff – I honestly had EVERY Pac-Man pattern memorized thanks to a “How to Play Pac-Man” book. I could play for hours but what’s the point if you are just following memorized patterns? FUCK, I loved Pac-Man SO MUCH!

  10. RBoneon 04 Aug 2009 at 9:46 am

    The only allergy i recall having as a kid was to some sort of pink antibiotic.

    In the summer i stayed out in the woods building forts well into the night with random, rusty tools my friends dad had. we would hoard Playboys for months until church-bred guilt set in. In the winter I stayed outside burying myself in the snow for about 10 hours a day. I don’t recall ever being cold.

    Now kids are lucky if they can even go outside at all without fear of nut allergies, bee allergies, grass allergies, sunlight allergies or rape allergies!

    Sara – sweet Dolemite reference.

  11. SanFranon 04 Aug 2009 at 10:22 am

    8bithero: you got it, brother… glad to know there are like-minded folks out there. Granted, we don’t have kids yet, but if/when the time er, comes, you can bet your ass we’ll let our kids fall and fail and thus, learn from their mistakes and also the definition of ‘consequence’.

    You know, on the allergy topic: It’s very, very trendy to have a ‘diagnosis’ these days. My wife is a child/adolescent psychiatrist, and parents are absolutely shocked sometimes when her diagnosis is “i’m sorry, but your kids only problem is the fact she is 14 years old…” and sends them on their way, without a prescription.

    As a child, I was allergic to chocolate – nothing like a little anaphylactic shock to get the family christmas party started, right? So, yes – it is serious business, allergies – but the sheer number of kids with a raft of allergies/aversions is a more serious business. Personally, I think it’s the amount of prescription drugs in our water supply, and the republican party, of course.

  12. EvanDandoon 04 Aug 2009 at 10:55 am

    I blame this sudden surge of allergies and autism to Mark Cronin. Yes Mark Cronin, the man who helped every super-douched star of the 90’s become relevant again just so my kid can see how dope we had it back then. Just like the rats in the plague, Mark Cronin spread his allergy disease 50 guys and girls at a time on Single Out. For the love of god, the immunity item was a golden toilet seat without a seat cover. So now do the AIDS math, every person who was on the show, spread it to everyone they know, who spread it to everyone they know, and so on, and so on. So now the every kid worldwide has allergies. Now it seems to be spreading to adults right through the Sunday/Monday night HD cablevision waves. Aldults who ate fish their whole lives and now swelling up by just using the word fish. It’s just a theory.

  13. hodanon 04 Aug 2009 at 11:06 am

    i blame the sissyfication of America also known as pesticides.

  14. Saraon 04 Aug 2009 at 11:06 am

    I like your republican party theory, Think about it? Black man created peanut butter….black man must be kept down….convince people their kids are alergic to peanuts, take that!
    What your still eating it? How ’bout an ECOLI SCARE!!

    What have you got there mr republican? I cherry lollipop SARA SMASH!!

  15. Saraon 04 Aug 2009 at 11:10 am

    no wonder the lemon heads havnt come out with an album in forever, the lead singer is to busy building insane conspiracy theories.

  16. Christineon 04 Aug 2009 at 2:20 pm

    It’s not just kids. Have you tried planning a dinner party lately? With everyone’s “allergies” and they’re various dietary restrictions, I really can’t come up with anything to cook. Also, the vet just told me that my dog might have a wheat allergy and that I should substitute a freshly cooked rabbit plus vegetables for the regular dog food I’ve been giving her.

  17. You Just Made My List!on 04 Aug 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Christine – Your dog is going to be eating better than most people!

    The end is near.

  18. Neishon 04 Aug 2009 at 2:51 pm

    I guess I just don’t give a shit if I die from my allergy cause I’m not gonna stop eating delicious kiwis and pineapple until it makes my throat swells up and I suffocate. I eat either one and my tongue goes numb, it’s actually kinda cool 😀

  19. SanFranon 04 Aug 2009 at 4:13 pm

    Neish: what are you doing later? Does it disable your gag reflex, per chance?

  20. CreatureofHabiton 05 Aug 2009 at 6:17 am


    Kids suck, but it’s not their fault. It’s the parents. I agree that they are coddled into precocious little blobs that barely make it outdoors and have parents constantly telling them they can do no wrong. I know exactly one parent that has the best kids in the world, and it’s because she doesn’t coddle them. Other than that, it’s slim pickins.

    On the other hand, it would suck so hard to have all these allergies – peanuts, strawberries, cheese, milk…. yikes. I’d starve. What’s a kid to do?

    I fully and completely blame the Republican party for this mess, among others….

  21. Munchieson 06 Aug 2009 at 12:48 am

    I agree, nut allergies do suck. My 4 year old is allergic to eggs, soy, and peanuts. The soy is actually the worst, hydrogenated soybean oil is in everything.

    I am inclined to believe that food allergies are likely caused by the fact that we process the shit out of most of our food – to make it more convenient, to make it stay fresh longer, to make it more aesthetically pleasing, to make it cheaper…..the list goes on and on. Our bodies just aren’t meant to accept all those additives and chemicals.

    Food allergies make me angry.

  22. CreatureofHabiton 06 Aug 2009 at 5:56 am

    I agree Muchies…. I think it’s lead to the allergy situation as well as the bulk of the cancer situation.

  23. ooooo_shineyon 06 Aug 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Here’s a theory. Maybe it’s all these shots kids have to have now. I’ve heard that the vaccines are giving some kids autism & other crap. Just a thought.

  24. XIXon 10 Aug 2009 at 1:03 am

    oooooo_shiney, it’s not the vaccines. Vaccines are actually a good thing, because they do prevent kids from getting sick. And no, they do not cause autism.

    My theory on why so many kids have allergies to nuts, milk, chocolate, etc. is because parents these days don’t give them nuts, milk, chocolate, etc. for fear allergies. Also, ANTIBACTERIAL SOAP IS A HUGE SCAM. Regular soap does the job just fine, without the side effect of pussifying your immune system.

    On the other hand, allergies can and do happen for no apparent reason.

  25. Canaduckon 03 Dec 2010 at 1:16 pm

    I grew up at the same time you did, Listy (well, more or less–I wasn’t born until ’81) and I’ve had fun and magical allergies my entire life. Nuts are the only ones that still have the potential to make me die. Maybe seafood. Soy and wheat just make me break out, as do eggs and dairy. I’m also allergic to about a million different types of trees and animals. The planet is trying to kill me.

    Not totally sure what happened, but I think it’s a combination of the fact that my parents have a few minor allergies each and I had both pneumonia and meningitis both before I was 3 months old. Basically, tons and tons of antibiotics. I think it fucked up my immune system permanently.

    When I was a child, I was a freak of nature. Seriously. I didn’t know one other kid with allergies and nobody else did either. I have no idea what’s going on with today’s kids–either a lot of misdiagnoses, or we’re in serious trouble.

  26. need2knoon 07 Apr 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Hi, i was a kid in the late 80’s/early 90’s. i’ve always been allergic to certain nuts. i swell up and ache like crazy. i am the only person in my entire family going back generations that is allergic to something. Almonds are a big thing in our families, probably because of culture and i was the kid that was allergic so because of me almonds were banned from my house (parents) and banned from my in-laws. lol. believe me i don’t want to be allergic as i have heard that they are delicious. in fact they help your memory (or so i’ve heard) so i would love to eat them. i remember my dad forcing me to eat a whole bunch so ‘it will get rid of the allergy’, THANK YOU DAD FOR NEARLY KILLING ME. lol.
    I do understand where you are coming from though. it makes one wonder if it has anything to do with all the bloomin injections the nhs pumps into babies and toddlers over the years? the funny thing about my allergy is that i am severely allergic to almonds, and hazelnuts and brazil nuts. i can eat one or two walnuts before the effect begins. but cashew nuts, peanuts and pictachios i LOVE and can eat without a problem.
    so the nuts im allergic to don’t belong in a certain group.