Aug 05 2009

This naked ad for The T.O. Show!

Published by at 3:20 am under Sucky TV,Why?!?

terrell owens TO show

Let me explain why this ad is on my list before you get on your soapbox and call me homophobic. I’m not at all homophobic, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be happy that the only available treadmill at the gym today faced this poster. My treadmill was about 18″ away so I was forced to literally stare head-on at Terrell Owens’ chiseled body while I lazily walked along like an old guy at the mall. Hey, I burned off 34 calories during those 5 minutes I’ll have you know!

I don’t need that kind of pressure at the gym. I specifically joined Bally because it’s mostly filled with lazy fat slobs who workout for about 2 weeks before getting bored and retreating back to sucking on the fast food teat. At Bally, I almost look athletic, but not when this shit is staring me down. Is it too much to ask for posters of Dom Deluise or “Rerun” to grace the walls so I can remain delusional about the state of my own body? Why the hell is he even naked in this ad?

Plus, what if coincidentally got a boner while staring at this poster. I have yet to get a boner at the gym, but what if I popped one of those “just woke up from a nap” boners while on the treadmill facing a naked T.O.? What if I accidentally started to masturbate after I accidentally got a boner? I’m not saying it’s likely, but WHAT IF?!?

Fuck it, I’m not going back to the gym until his show is canceled.

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9 comments so far

9 comments to “This naked ad for The T.O. Show!”

  1. Xinaon 05 Aug 2009 at 5:02 am

    Those were quite a few what if’s. I’m not aware of how you might accidentally start masturbating but I’m sure the random boner is a real fear. Maybe you should wear a cup or a jock strap or some sort of penis strapping down device. Then you’d be free to walk the treadmill and dream of a naked TO to your hearts delight!

  2. Saraon 05 Aug 2009 at 8:42 am

    I heard this fake press conference TO did where he apologized up front for what he was going to do this season

    I apologize to all my fellow players for taking up all the highlight’s on ESPN. Please give the other guys some air time
    I apologize for that celebration dance where I jumped into the stands and had sex with your girlfriend. I’m sorry, that was excessive

  3. Jacobon 05 Aug 2009 at 12:15 pm


  4. hodanon 05 Aug 2009 at 1:30 pm

    i stared at that longer than i should. don’t playa hate Listy. that ad is sexy albeit unnecessary for a freaking reality show.

  5. Jeffon 05 Aug 2009 at 7:23 pm

    I don’t know who he is or what that show is about, but the though of you going all Robert Crumb in front of that poster made me laugh.

  6. skara mcfartyon 17 Nov 2009 at 1:36 am

    i know i’m late reading this.. but.. don’t feel bad man! this dudes toe nails are PIANTED!!

  7. skara mcfartyon 17 Nov 2009 at 1:38 am

    painted duuurrrr .. yes im from texas….

  8. BILL BRUNETTIon 05 Mar 2010 at 11:15 pm

    KEEP IT UP T.0.


  9. You Just Made My List!on 06 Mar 2010 at 11:13 am

    Yes, keep it up Mr. Owens, you heard Bill!