Aug 20 2009

Aerosmith, especially Steven Tyler!

Published by at 3:44 am under Crappy Music

steven tyler's old ass falls off stage

Stop the madness! Steven, God is obviously trying to kill you, or at the very least send you a message. Give it up! Stop dancing around like an old, drunk slut at a bar who just played an entire Bob Seger album on the jukebox. Go be an old lady somewhere and stop making me look at you. Seriously, at this point your face has more wrinkles than my saggy balls on a hot summer day.*

Aerosmith has about 7-10 good songs. Unfortunately, the rest of their shitty songs are so God-awful that it has made it impossible to enjoy their good songs. I’m sure Carrot Top has one or two good jokes, but the remainder of his material would prevent me from finding them funny. For every 3 shitty songs you write, a good one is erased from the face of the earth.

Janie’s Got A Gun
Dude (Looks Like A Lady)
Rag Doll

It’s simple math.

*for those of you who do not have balls, the hotter they get, the longer and more horrible they become.

Enjoy this video of God trying to stop Steven Tyler for good

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25 comments so far

25 comments to “Aerosmith, especially Steven Tyler!”

  1. Saraon 20 Aug 2009 at 7:24 am

    Sucks to be a dude. I have boobs. The hotter it gets the more exposed and glistening they become.

  2. Joeon 20 Aug 2009 at 8:29 am

    steven tyler is an asshole.

  3. rachelon 20 Aug 2009 at 9:07 am

    jesus christ. what is that picture? how did this person create Liv?

  4. Xinaon 20 Aug 2009 at 9:20 am

    How long can balls get?! I’ll add this to MY list of why I’m greatful to be a girl.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 20 Aug 2009 at 9:28 am

    Sara – “Glistening” and “exposed” – THANK YOU!!!!!

    Joe – He also looks like an asshole. I mean he literally looks like a pinched anus.

    Rachel – Don’t make me think about that, I’m still trying to concentrate on Sara’s glistening boobs.

    Xina – You don’t want to know, it’s a nightmare. They also get longer and longer each year, like rings on a tree. I hate balls.

  6. SanFranon 20 Aug 2009 at 9:49 am

    I have to say, I never saw the topic of saggy balls coming out of a rant about Steven Tyler and Aerosmith…

    Strong work, everyone.

    It’s cool in the Bay Area today, so my nuts are uniform and comfortable. If anybody wants a photo, fuck off.

  7. Joeon 20 Aug 2009 at 11:44 am

    i love my balls.

  8. rachelon 20 Aug 2009 at 11:51 am

    San Fran~ PHOTO PLEASE.

  9. Peteon 20 Aug 2009 at 1:03 pm

    That’s hilarious–Aerosmith weren’t even playing a song at the time, Tyler was just doing his typical monkey bit when he fell! Oh, that’s grand

    God bless Sara’s boobs

  10. You Just Made My List!on 20 Aug 2009 at 1:09 pm

    God bless all boobs.

  11. hodanon 20 Aug 2009 at 3:52 pm

    I think ‘dude looks like a lady’ is autobiographical.

  12. SanFranon 20 Aug 2009 at 5:18 pm


  13. You Just Made My List!on 20 Aug 2009 at 7:54 pm

    SanFran – I spent the last 7 years trying to erase that motherfucking clip from my memory. Thanks, thanks very much. I’m going to go kill myself now.

  14. SanFranon 20 Aug 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Listy, do you always pry into the business of others? That was for Rachel, not you…

    This can be our dirty little secret, if you want.

  15. rachelon 21 Aug 2009 at 12:50 pm


    eff me running!


    sorry you had to see that.

  16. SanFranon 21 Aug 2009 at 5:57 pm

    you asked, Rachel…

    you should never ask, Rachel…

    no here, not ever.

    Let this be a lesson. next time, it won’t be pretty.

  17. rachelon 21 Aug 2009 at 5:59 pm

    SO glad i asked!

  18. SHEilA Angevineon 22 Aug 2009 at 1:09 pm

    Look at the man in the mirror before criticizing Steven Tylers face.

  19. You Just Made My List!on 23 Aug 2009 at 5:04 pm

    SHEiLA – I just looked in the mirror as you asked and I am happy to report that guy in the mirror looked fucking handsome!

  20. Ericon 26 Aug 2009 at 7:49 pm

    I’ve been sick of Aerosmith for a long time. I can’t stand seeing them, kind of like when the Red Hot Chili Peppers get thrown in my face. And they are both the kind of band that likes to keep pushing their image at you. Can’t stand either of them. Actually, there are A LOT of people and groups (not just musical) like this these days, and the internet just makes it all that more easy. Sick society I say. Thanks for the post and having ol’ ST make your list.


  21. SHEilA Angevineon 11 Nov 2009 at 1:55 am

    Must have been Steven Tyler’s face looking back at you in that mirror…..

  22. SHEilA Angevineon 09 Jan 2010 at 10:46 pm

    Why don’t all of you “SHUT THE HELL UP?” We are all only human . . . . . and personally I think that maybe you commenting shaggers are not human, and would love to be Steven Tyler. He’s more human than you will ever be. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!! Or better yet . . . . . . “GO CHASE YOURSELF”!!!!

  23. You Just Made My List!on 10 Jan 2010 at 9:50 am

    Sheila – Welcome back? It’s a little weird that you keep coming back here to make yourself mad, but then again you are an Aerosmith fan so I can only expect so much. OK, I’m going to chase myself for a while, sounds like good exercise.

  24. I hate Jon Bon Jovi!on 03 Nov 2010 at 3:34 am

    […] and leaving no face un-rocked has a certain je ne sais quoi but, much like what we see with the Areosmith formula, any awesomeness found within “Wanted Dead or Alive” is erased by 20+ years of faces […]

  25. dikkidikon 03 Jan 2011 at 1:35 pm

    he is a terrible assholl, motherfucker and drugaddict