Oct 15 2009

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser!

Published by at 3:33 am under Awesome!

mr. clean magic eraser

Don’t panic fans of the Magic Eraser, this is a rare collector’s edition post about something I LIKE! Like? Fuck that, I love the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. I want to marry the Magic Eraser and have a cold beer waiting for it as soon as it walks in the door after a long day of awesomely cleaning shit up. The Magic Eraser is the single greatest invention on the face of this planet.

Don’t try to tell me in your annoying voice that, “The computer is the most important invention ever” because you are wrong and you are an idiot for thinking that. That is, unless you are using your stupid computer for purchasing Magic Erasers.

Magic Eraser is to sponge, what Jesus is to babies born in barns. Even Mr. Jesus Christ scratches his head in disbelief when cleaning up various surfaces in heaven with a Magic Eraser and thinks, “Oh my dad, this thing is amazing!”

If you have never tried the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser you are a moron and a jerk. You are a loser and your house is dirty. Your light switches are covered in smudges and your refrigerator handles are filthy. No wonder girls never want to have sex with you.

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20 comments so far

20 comments to “Mr. Clean Magic Eraser!”

  1. CreatureofHabiton 15 Oct 2009 at 6:51 am

    I love these things – how do they work? I have no choice but to believe it’s magic!

  2. Saraon 15 Oct 2009 at 7:21 am

    It gets sharpie drawings of “a pig!” off my wall
    It gets tire tread marks off my celing (dont ask)
    I think it works by rubbing shit into another dimension

  3. icecycle66on 15 Oct 2009 at 7:50 am

    They also get intruder blood off of tile and grout pretty well, but they tear up on rough grout. So, I usually need two. Clean the smooth tile first, then start on grout, by the time the sponge shreds up I finish with the second one. When I’m done my dog can’t even tell some miserable piece of shit tried to bleed out in my living room.

  4. SanFranon 15 Oct 2009 at 10:02 am

    I’ve never used them. Never heard of them. I think Mr. Clean is a pussy. THAT’S RIGHT, A PUSSY.

    And, while I’m here, I have to compliment you on a brilliantly written post: “Oh my Dad…” I’m sorry, this is genius.

    Now, you are faced with a dilemma: attack me for calling Mr. Clean a Pussy, or thank me for my kind words. Standing by.

  5. Patrickon 15 Oct 2009 at 10:38 am

    Holy crap, at first I was thinking WTF, it’s a glorified sponge, but then I figured I better check it out before commenting. Well it is more than a sponge, is a freakin sandpaper sponge. Check it out.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melamine_foam
    Pretty cool. Now I got to find some other way to rip on Listy.

  6. mikeon 15 Oct 2009 at 11:28 am

    lf think Magic Eraser is the greatest invention ever, then you haven’t tried Magic Eraser EXTRA POWER. If the invention of Mr. Clean Magic Eraser can be compared to the invention of the Personal Computer which i don’t like to give the PC so much credit, then Mr. Clean Magic Eraser EXTRA POWER is the Mac Book Pros of magic esasers. I’m SERIOUS. you have to believe me. I don’t even mess with the normal strengh ones anymore. they are a waste of my time and shred up in no time. They say the Expra Powers are 50% stronger, they must mean the first iniatial 50% of the regular strength ones (before they start to shred) and then then they last like 2x as long as well.

    Also, take my advice and don’t try to save money by getting generic brand magic eraser imatations. Target has ones. They are basically lame sponges the look like magic erasers.

  7. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Good point Mike! Except no substitutes!

  8. rachelon 15 Oct 2009 at 1:33 pm

    ashamed to say i haven’t tried this modern wonder. but i am obsessively cleaning things with bleach in order to reach the highest possible level of cleanliness…i will try your magic infused sponge, listy…i will try it.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Rachel – You are in for such a treat. Get ready to have an orgasm!

  10. Tommyon 15 Oct 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Mr. Clean was a nudist, he used to send naked christmas card pictures of him and his wife to my girlfriend’s parents

  11. Tommyon 15 Oct 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Additionally,
    I hate people who think that Macs are not PCs. Or, for that matter, that the definition of PC is that is using a microsoft operating system. A mac is a PC all of components inside are the same as a system taken off the shelf except for some proprietary connectors (the way apple makes you rely on their inferior hardware). all mac has got is an operating system with a GUI easy for idiots to use. Not that macs aren’t solid good comptuers. but when i want to do some actual computing. a mac just won’t cut it.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 15 Oct 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Tommy – Hold the fucking phone mister, I will not stand for this Mac bashing on my website! Apple rules! RULES!

  13. SanFranon 15 Oct 2009 at 11:34 pm

    Tommy: what are you talking about? “actual computing”, when it comes from opponents of all-things-mac, means “gaming”. (Correct me if I’m wrong here though – I’m usually eager to course-correct)

    Like Listy, I work in the creative biz. I’d be corporately and creatively dead without my macs, which, trust me – do plenty of actual actual computing. In fact, they are across town in my office right now doing their distributive processing of massive amounts of HD media as I type this from home, monitoring their progress.

    You see, there is no time for downtime. I long ago lost count of all the time-spent-bitching I’ve heard from PC, erm, sorry, users of computers loaded with MS operating systems. Fortunately, most have ditched the MS system and are now mac users. It’s kind of fun to watch them excitedly point out all the cool stuff they can do, without issues.

    It’s hard to bite my tongue though, so as not to say “I told you so…”

    FLAME ON! MR. CLEAN IS STILL A PUSSY, LISTY!

  14. Patrickon 16 Oct 2009 at 9:12 am

    http://ninxmz.org/images/420.thrashbarg.net/windows_linux_mac_choose_your_weapon.jpg

  15. Vickyon 16 Oct 2009 at 6:07 pm

    Ok, I LOVE Mr. Clean, first time I used him we cleaned all night long pretty much, I wore him down to nothing…dang this sounds sexual huh? Anyways this is the best, you will start looking for things to clean cause it gets everything off!! Love love love it!

  16. Shannonon 19 Oct 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Tommy, quit telling stories about my family and their nudist friends. I don’t tell stories about your mom and her bible-humping friends…

    Oh yeah, and I read your entry about my massages. Next time you have sore muscles, you should call a big, burly man over to handle it. Now, go grab me a glass of wine and massage my feet.

  17. xiolaon 19 Oct 2009 at 9:05 pm

    “Oh my dad, this thing is amazing!” Excellent. Hilarious.

    Perhaps you are just the person to speak with about mascara. Have you seen the commericals? All you need is a little brush with some dark goop on it, but they keep trying to reinvent it. Now, I know you’re not a mascara consumer, but, you should know, it’s ridiculous. Last I saw, they put a motor in there– a motorized mascara wand. Puleeeeze. They’ll take an eye out! The other day, I saw a commerical for one with a round brush, but I turned the channel before they could elaborate. Geez.

    Anyway, thanks for entertaining me. Well done.

  18. You Just Made My List!on 19 Oct 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Xiola – I feel your pain. Reminds me of this http://www.youjustmademylist.com/?p=3035#comments

  19. factcheckmeon 20 Oct 2009 at 12:50 pm

    i agree, these things are amazing. good post too.

  20. Andraon 12 Feb 2010 at 6:53 am

    I know this is old but I just had to comment on my love of the Magic Eraser and this post. For some reason it makes me laugh like an idiot and I actually read it aloud to my husband hoping he would find it as amusing as I do. Just wanted to share my gratitude for this well written piece on the magic eraser.