Oct 28 2009

The Shot Fairy!

Published by at 3:20 am under I Don't Get It

shot fairy

What do you do if your child is afraid to go to the doctor for a flu shot? Obviously your only option is to allow a doctor to sneak into their room while they sleep and stab them with a needle. Sure, they will never know the joy of a good night’s sleep ever again after you make their nightmares a reality, and they will most likely attempt to bury the dark memory of waking to a strange doctor in their bedroom jabbing them with a needle by getting deep into medical fetish sex as an adult, but hey… NO FLU!

This actually exists! On Earth! For less than $100 you can betray the trust of your sleeping child in his or her own bed. You think your kid was scared of the dark before? Just wait until he wakes up to find a creepy old man hunched over him with a hypodermic needle. You will be cleaning poop out of those Elmo jammies for months.

Why stop with flu shots? Hire the Shamwow guy to sneak in at night and yell math equations in your kid’s face. Maybe little Timmy will be quarterback one day if you start chucking footballs at him while he sleeps.

Middle of the night flu shot by The Shot Fairy… $80.
Turning your child in to a serial killer at age 5… Priceless.

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13 comments so far

13 comments to “The Shot Fairy!”

  1. Paul in Saint Paulon 28 Oct 2009 at 7:08 am

    What child would actually sleep through a shot? A lollipop is not going to fix the horror of suddenly awaking with a stranger driving a needle through skin.

  2. Peteon 28 Oct 2009 at 7:47 am

    I completely agree with you on this…part a sick, depraved part of me thinks it’s great.

  3. icecycle66on 28 Oct 2009 at 10:39 am

    I think this is the greatest thing ever. It ranks right up there with haveing a man with four nipples watching you take a bath while you still have your shirt on.

    This’ll teach those little bastards to not hire a private security firm to patrol their rooms at night.

    It’ll teach’em. It’ll teach’em how to never trust anybody in this cruel world. It’ll teach’em to not face something they are afraid of or else they will just be murdered in their sleep by a clown with banana hands. It’ll teach’em that there is no resisting the powers that be. It’ll teach’em. It’ll teach’em all right.

  4. rachelon 28 Oct 2009 at 11:02 am

    i just took my 3 year old for his flu shot and told him that we would go to Del Taco after! guess what? bribery works!

  5. guilty noodleson 28 Oct 2009 at 11:02 am

    I’ve never heard of this. What is this world coming to?

  6. You Just Made My List!on 28 Oct 2009 at 12:23 pm

    Rachel – You should have told him you were going to Del Taco but really just take him to the doctor.

  7. Tommyon 28 Oct 2009 at 2:41 pm

    i’m pretty sure i’ve never got the flu except for once when i was 7. the flu is for pussies!

  8. CDBon 28 Oct 2009 at 4:24 pm

    I don’t want to do anything half-assed, so I’d like to know if I can pay extra to have the doctor’s face painted up the same way it is in Peewee’s dream.

  9. Jeffon 28 Oct 2009 at 8:13 pm

    I can’t believe that something this bizarre exists, but I’m so glad it does. Good find.

  10. Joeon 29 Oct 2009 at 8:16 am

    my kid won’t be a pussy. solved.

  11. Jodion 03 Nov 2009 at 10:33 am

    I’d hire the Shamwow guy, but he died last summer and I can’t talk to ghosts…yet.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 03 Nov 2009 at 11:18 am

    Jodi – Shamwow Vince is alive and well! You are thinking of Billy Mays, God rest his loud soul.

  13. it's trueon 05 Jan 2010 at 2:00 pm

    can i thumbs this up x’s 4?