Dec 02 2009

Dana Carvey!

Published by at 3:20 am under Sucky TV

dana carvey sucks

Boy are you about to be cheated! I bought a new iMac that’s the size of a drive-in movie screen and I have been setting it up all night. I just realized I forgot to write something for you and now your day is most likely ruined. I am truly sorry. I owe you one.

In other news… Dana Carvey sucks huge amounts of ass and has been funny approximately 2 times. I can’t tell you when those 2 times occurred, but I am assuming they must have happened.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Be Sociable, Share!

18 comments so far

18 comments to “Dana Carvey!”

  1. 8bitheroon 02 Dec 2009 at 6:03 am

    Let me express my remorse in the fact that you bought an overpriced, overhyped, underperforming, and un-upgradable paperweight.

    I’m sure you will make better decisions in the future.

  2. Saraon 02 Dec 2009 at 8:28 am

    I’d like to think that one of those times is when he as George Bush Sr takes George Bush Jr ( Will Ferrel) duck hunting with the intent to shoot him in the back of the head and end all the madness.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 02 Dec 2009 at 9:20 am

    Don’t even try to talk shit about this computer, it kicks serious ass. SERIOUS ASS!

  4. mikeon 02 Dec 2009 at 10:09 am

    Ha ha Garth?! you hate Garth? Has he even done anything in the past 10 years except that awful Master of Desguise movie?

    If you really wanna be serious and post about a hasbeen comedian then talk about Adam Sandler. Although he is at least funny enough to play himself in Funny People.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 02 Dec 2009 at 11:24 am

    I especially hate Garth!

  6. mikeon 02 Dec 2009 at 11:29 am

    you’re are man full of hate.

  7. Scotty Ton 02 Dec 2009 at 11:33 am

    Don’t pick on Dana man. Stay the course!! There’s like 20 SNL retirees who deserve it more.

  8. Saraon 02 Dec 2009 at 12:01 pm

    yea and Jimmy Fallon.
    Quit looking around every time you tell a joke, do you need that much validation? AND STOP LAUGHING YOU ASS!!

  9. kenon 02 Dec 2009 at 12:48 pm

    I don’t hate Dana but he’s super annoying whenever he’s on Real Time with Bill Maher, just a total attention hog. He had some great SNL moments back in the day.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 02 Dec 2009 at 12:52 pm

    Sorry guys, I just can’t climb aboard the Dana Carvey train. I really can’t stand him. He had a few decent moments on SNL but not enough to save it for me.

  11. Jayon 02 Dec 2009 at 3:34 pm

    I find Dana Carvey’s comedy unbearable too. And the new iMacs do kick serious ass, 8bithero is just jealous.

  12. Jacobon 02 Dec 2009 at 8:45 pm

    He was pretty funny in the Green Mile… LOLZZZZ!!!!!

  13. Samon 20 Jul 2010 at 3:24 pm

    I hate Dana Carvey’s face a lot. I think it’s because of that stupid look he always has stretched across it, which he obviously thinks is funny, but which anybody with a functioning brain wants to feed to pigs. Still, I hate him slightly less than Chris Kattan.

    As much as I despise these super-tools, I still don’t hate them as much as I fucking hate Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother. This show is ok, I’m not crazy about it or anything but my girlfriend really likes it so we watch it together, and together we hate the main character Ted Mosby. I’m not sure how this cretin has escaped your ire, but the inescapable fact that people think he is funny and likeable both confuses and saddens me. How can this be? His insipid ‘sensitive guy’ personality causes me to curl up in my bathtub fully clothed and cry with the shower turned on while my girlfriend says softly, “he’s not real baby, he’s not real, shhhhhhh, shhhhhhh, it’s going to be ok”.

    Didn’t mean to railroad the hating on DC, but I couldn’t find another place to rant about this moron. Thanks YJMML!

  14. […] to live life to the fullest but your screaming prayers will go unanswered, because the instant Dana Carvey and Linkin Park share the Saturday Night Live stage, heaven will be the first thing to explode. […]

  15. Cindyon 01 Dec 2011 at 2:47 am

    Dana C is funny at times and talented….he’s just very annoying and terribly insecure. Have you ever noticed how he can’t sit still on talk shows and insists on talking too loud…we hear you……unfortunately.

  16. Tomon 20 Jan 2012 at 9:57 am

    DANA!!!! there is said it.

  17. Tomon 20 Jan 2012 at 9:57 am

    DANA!!!! there I said it.

  18. You Just Made My List!on 20 Jan 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Tom – Sadly you said it twice… and wrong.

    I believe the kids call it FAIL.