Dec 03 2009
Hey thanks leg, I was hoping that my innocent morning stretch would end with a pain so powerful it would cause me to piss my pants and scream into my pillow for mommy. I love to start my day by pooping my pants and whimpering like a lost puppy. What, you don’t pee and poop your pants when you get a charley horse? I do that and more. I cry and vomit too. I also sweat, sneeze, bleed out of my ears and ejaculate. It’s a real freaky scene, man.
I’m sure we have all been reduced to tears by a tiny foot cramp, but I can top you all. Your pussy cramps pale in comparison to what happened to me one morning. I don’t literally mean cramps you might get in your vagina, I was simply trying to imply that my worst charley horse could kick your charley horse’s ass! Anyway… one morning I was yawning and my motherfucking TONGUE cramped and stiffened like a brick. Do you understand what I’m talking about? I got a god damn charley horse in my mouth! A tongue boner!
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