Dec 11 2009
It’s official, I relate to nothing. I am digging a hole in the dirt where I shall live until I die.
Have you ever written a grocery list and thought “This is just too quick and easy. There’s got to be a harder way.” You are in luck! The SmartShopper Deluxe Grocery List Organizer takes the convenience of quickly hand writing a list and turns it into an elaborate, complicated task.
With the SmartShopper, you just speak your list one item at a time into your magic list robot. After each item, simply wait 5 seconds for the robot to figure out what you have said. When the robot displays a list of the words you might have spoken, you scroll through the list and find the word you want. At this stage you can also remind yourself that you have a coupon for that item with the touch of several buttons. And just like that, after only 2 minutes you have one item on your grocery list! Pour yourself a glass of wine because your ass is going to be making that list for the next 45 minutes. It’s just that hard!
But wait, how will you remember this list while at the grocery store? Do you rip your robot off the wall and bring him? No, you big fucking idiot, all you do is hit ‘print’ and your robot will start pooping out your list in under 2 hours! Go watch a movie or paint the garage at this stage because your list robot likes to be alone as it slowly handcrafts each letter.
Hey, want to make the world implode? Just watch this clip of Rachel Ray and her audience of cackling morons have g-spot orgasms when the SmartShopper cures cancer. Oh wait, I meant to say when the SmartShopper recognizes the word “garlic.”
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