Jan 11 2010

Homeschool class rings and diplomas!

Published by at 3:09 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

Home School Class Rings & Diplomas

Holy shit.

I thought I was going to write about adults who still wear giant class rings but I stumbled upon something so disturbing and underground that I feel it is my duty as an American to shine a light on this ugly and repulsive phenomenon. I have just discovered there are graduation supplies for homeschooled weirdos. I will never be the same again.

I’m sorry but if you are homeschooled there are a few things you are going to miss out on. For example, unless you plan on having sex with your sister, there is a pretty good chance you won’t be getting laid at your prom. Truth be told, I did not get laid at my prom, but at least I had a chance! I had no chance. I did, on the other hand, manage to drive all the way home with my headlights off because I was so nervous, so I’ve got that going for me.

I mean, what could your graduation ceremony even consist of? Your mom draped in a bed sheet, reading off a long list of your high school accomplishments while standing on a kitchen chair? It’s not too difficult to be valedictorian or captain of the Bible team when it’s just you and your mom sitting alone in the kitchen 5 days a week.

Think I’m making this up?

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23 comments so far

23 comments to “Homeschool class rings and diplomas!”

  1. Jeffon 11 Jan 2010 at 3:55 am

    Heh great find.

    I love the wallet-sized home schooled diploma – presumably on which is written everything you’ve learned about life…

  2. Iron Fistson 11 Jan 2010 at 10:45 am

    Holy dog shit !!! … Only in America, I guess

  3. SanFranon 11 Jan 2010 at 11:24 am

    I know a half dozen or so home-schooled people (three of them are from the same family) – with one exception, they are all a bit well, socially stunted.

    They are plenty smart, and great folks and it doesn’t really seem to impact most of their interactions with the greater world, but yeah – there is this strange offset that is hard to put one’s finger on – and some pretty kooky ideas too, which they usually have a hard time defending.

    Interestingly, they are all (except for the same one who somehow managed to get their social groove on), devout Libertarians / Tea Party Patriot supporters.

    I think you need to add Tea Party asshats to your list, listy!

    oh, and welcome back, fuckface. Hope your move is done, done, done…

  4. Tommyon 11 Jan 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Through no fault of my own I was homeschooled through highschool. Luckily I finished at 15 and am just about done with my Ph.D. in physics.

  5. Whateveron 11 Jan 2010 at 3:36 pm

    I was homeschooled too, and i get along just fine. pretty damn sociable too i might say, but maybe it’s because i went to public high school. Or it could have been because i was a home-school outcast, and was forced to go back to public school cause i wouldn’t do my work, would sleep in every day, and was on excessive drug use. Who knows? I suppose it helped me make friends/enemies in H.S. being a Drug Dealer/ Weird Home Schooled kid/Straight A student/ Weird Idea Libertarian Tea Party guy. What is most important is that homeschooled or not, some people are just weird, but one interesting statistic is that most homeschooled kids(girls especially), lose their virginity by age 16, myself included. Being all cooped up at home makes for some serious rebellion. The homeschooled kids i grew up with became: Drug Addicts, Felons, Prostitutes, Lesbians, Gays, Strippers, and creepo’s(used lightly). Only a very small percentage actually became successful, but none of the kids who went all the way though high school and got diplomas succeeded at all. I want to know your thoughts/questions as I consider myself a professional on the matters of home study.
    Flake

  6. You Just Made My List!on 11 Jan 2010 at 6:56 pm

    I can’t believe so many homeschool freaks read this! As long as you didn’t receive a Homeschool diploma I will forgive you.

  7. Paul in Saint Paulon 11 Jan 2010 at 9:39 pm

    I didn’t learn shit in four years of “campus” high school, and I still turned out a queer. I seriously doubt homeschooling would have changed that, but it might have led to a hatchetfight with my parents over whether I should devote my time to proving geometry theorems or watching Love, American Style re-runs. Say, does anyone even keep their diplomas, the ones not written on their home computer and signed by Mom? I have no idea what happened to any of mine five minutes after I got them.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 11 Jan 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Paul – I still haven’t picked up my college diploma.

  9. Yours Trulyon 11 Jan 2010 at 10:23 pm

    @ Whatever:

    Clearly being homeschooled did not teach you how to express your thoughts clearly or coherently.

  10. SanFranon 12 Jan 2010 at 11:02 am

    As to the whereabouts of my diploma…

    that’s a good question! I’m sure they are kicking about somewhere, covered in mildew in the bottom of a box with my collection of Garbage Pail Kids cards…

  11. dakr_gothikon 12 Mar 2010 at 3:11 pm

    What can expect if your home shcooled .Well besides a better education than you could ever get a “public”(goverment) school. You can expect a fully legit accredited diploma and if you so choose a fully normal life .My life was way better because of being home schooled .Hell i even took college courses wen i was in high school.Home schooling is not about being a religous zellot who shelters yours kid.”Public ” School kids are more sheltered from the world than I was .

  12. xionon 12 Mar 2010 at 3:13 pm

    I was homechooled the whole way thru .I went to high school with one of those fully accredited correspondence courses so piss off you liberal fuck .

  13. You Just Made My List!on 12 Mar 2010 at 4:07 pm

    dark_gothik and xion – Wow, if there was ever an argument AGAINST homeschooling it would be your two comments.

    WOW, did you actually pass the English class you took in your kitchen? Holy shit, your mom needs to be fired as head teacher at your house because you are dumb. I mean you are REALLY dumb. Do you even realize how easy it is to tell that both of these comments are from the same person?

    I was going to point out all of your grammatical mistakes but it would take me all night, you stupid fuck.

    I suggest you get your money back from the “school” you attended in your living room because your mom might be the world’s shittiest teacher. In fact, what’s the address of your school/house, I would like to send your mom a mug that says “World’s Worst Teacher.”

  14. tkaon 26 Nov 2010 at 2:45 am

    Hey I’ve actually achieved alot more by being homeschooled than by attending public school.I went to public school from preschool-7th grade and they couldn’t teach me shit they couldn’t teach none of my peers shit either.So when my parents took me out of school to be homeschooled because the school I was going to had so much crime happening.I didn’t want to do my homeschooling I wanted to lay around and sleep,watch tv,and eat.But when I realized how important my education was I signed up with stratford career institute a highly recommend for most career goals and high school diplomas.I started studying the books and found out I liked studying because I could understand these books better than public schools books I get to work at my own pace and once I take an exam get the results instantly online and there is 24/7 teachers to call or email for help (that I haven’t had to use yet) and I been making mostly all A’s and one B so far and that’s a 360 degree turn from the D’s and F’s I made at public school because they don’t teach you right at public schools and im only a few months away from graduation.Oh and im very social,I have lots of friends who aren’t homeschooled and attend regular school.And trust me being homeschooled doesn’t mean you don’t have a chance at getting laid because I’ve gotten laid more being homeschooled than I did at public school.So suck it!

  15. You Just Made My List!on 26 Nov 2010 at 7:50 am

    tka – “I’ve gotten laid more being homeschooled than I did at public school

    Congratulations on leaving one of the strangest comments ever on this website.

    Also, apparently your home forgot to teach you proper grammar. Can someone PLEASE tell me why kids no longer put spaces after periods and commas?

  16. choiceon 26 Aug 2011 at 8:25 am

    with the measure you judge you will be judged
    bless those who …
    Thank you God for allowing us free will …
    for your son Jesus
    and for your Holy Spirit who comforts us
    without Him all are lost and are in need of the Saviour. I pray you will know Him the God of peace ,hope ,Love… Romans 10: 13-15 .Romans 15:13

  17. You Just Made My List!on 26 Aug 2011 at 8:51 am

    And I shall pray that you learn proper punctuation. Oh yeah, I forgot you were home schooled, this is the best you can do.

  18. omgon 29 Aug 2011 at 11:12 pm

    You have nothing better to do than attack something you know nothing about. Such a waste.

  19. You Just Made My List!on 29 Aug 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Why don’t you go to your room… I mean math class or whatever.

  20. Giggleson 09 Dec 2011 at 10:31 pm

    You have no idea what your talking about. In fact you do nothing but make yourself look stupid. You have no idea about anything that has to do with homeschooling so do yourself a favor shut the hell up!

  21. You Just Made My List!on 09 Dec 2011 at 11:30 pm

    Giggles – Well I can see that the home you went to for school taught you incredible communication skills and manners. A+!

  22. meaganon 15 Mar 2012 at 7:54 pm

    actually, you forget something important: homeschool groups. i went to a homeschool graduation where over 100 kids graduated. I know that’s far from the big schools you went to, but it is also far from “your mom draped in a bed sheet… standing on a kitchen chair.”
    Oh, and one more thing: could you sit in the kitchen with your mom for 5 hours, 5 days a week?

    Oh, and “homeschool weirdos” is REALLY mature.

  23. You Just Made My List!on 15 Mar 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Thanks Meagan, I agree that I am very mature, you poopy fart ass!