Jan 11 2010

Bud Light drinkabilty!

Published by at 3:17 am under I Don't Get It,Sucky TV,Why?!?

bud light drinkability

Congratulations Bud Light, you made a beverage that technically is drinkable. (slow clap)

Let’s not waste any time debating whether or not Bud Light is, in fact, drinkable. Clearly it is not. It’s one small step above poison and one giant leap below walrus diarrhea. Instead, I would like to discuss the saddest tag line in the history of advertising.

Bud Light is essentially saying to you “Hey, at least you can drink it without dying.” Let me ask you this tough guy, would you feel confident eating at a restaurant who proudly boasted “Jimbo’s Pizza, it’s edible.” How about “Potato Town, our food can safely be crammed down your throat.” Perhaps you would buy a car from Ford if they proclaimed “Basically it pretty much drives.”

The real question is, what the fuck are you doing drinking Bud Light in the first place? Why bother drinking at that point? I’m embarrassed for you, broski.

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12 comments so far

12 comments to “Bud Light drinkabilty!”

  1. icecycle66on 12 Jan 2010 at 7:30 am

    I have yet to read the words you wrote as I cannot look away from the subset picture.

  2. deadlytoqueon 12 Jan 2010 at 10:27 am

    You know what they say: an advertisement will always try to convince you of the merits of the worst aspect of the product. If someone tries to sell you something “long-lasting”, they are basically telling you it will break within the week.

  3. Amandaon 12 Jan 2010 at 1:05 pm

    It’s akin to the Rally’s/Checkers slogan “Ya gotta eat.”

  4. SanFranon 12 Jan 2010 at 3:34 pm

    Bud, in all its incarnations, is urine. URINE I SAY!

    Do you drink urine? I didn’t think s…… Oh, what? You do?

    What are you doing later?

  5. Yours Trulyon 12 Jan 2010 at 4:32 pm

    SanFran:

    I’ve heard that in survival situations, a person could drink their own urine to stay hydrated. I tried to verify this by typing “people drinking urine” into a search engine.

    All I got was images of people drinking Bud Light.

  6. SanFranon 12 Jan 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Well, the one thing Urine has going for it that Bud doesn’t, is that Urine is at the very least, sterile.

    So, there’s that.

  7. randomon 13 Jan 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Honest-to-God, my school district’s slogan is “Where student learning is the goal.”

    I heard they spent $150,000 coming up with that.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 13 Jan 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Random – Wow, that’s some slogan. So forceful and powerful!

  9. John Won 14 Jan 2010 at 10:10 am

    Walrus diarrhea – great name for a band.

  10. JulieJulieJulieon 01 Mar 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Remember the movie “Crazy People”? An ad executive gets patients from a mental hospital to write ad copy?

    I’m thinking the Bud Light people should have taken a few tips from this movie – at least then the slogan would at least be funny!

    There’s a bunch of ads (for real products, too) in the movie but my favorite:

    Metamucil: We help you go to the toilet so you won’t get cancer and die.

  11. You Just Made My List!on 01 Mar 2010 at 5:48 pm

    Julie – Funny. I sort of remember that movie. Did it include “Volvo, boxy but good?”

  12. JulieJulieJulieon 02 Mar 2010 at 10:26 am

    YJMML – yep, you have a good memory. There was also a Jaguar ad that said “for the man who wants to get hand jobs”.