Mar 08 2010

Johnny Depp’s fashion sense!

Published by at 3:00 am under I Don't Get It

Johnny Depp's bad clothes

I was all set to write about how much I hate the Oscars, but God damn it, I didn’t mind them this year. I was happy to see The Hurt Locker steal awards away from that piece of shit Avatar. Keep in mind, I have not seen either movie and yet I have a strong opinion on both. I’m proud to be an American!

Since I have celebrities on my mind, let’s talk about how much more awesome I am than Johnny Depp.

I like Johnny Depp as an actor and I’m sure it would be fun to get drunk with him and have a sword fight. Not like a penis sword fight, I mean with real swords. Although, he was in those pirate movies so it wouldn’t be very fair. OK, let’s just say we get drunk and MAYBE have a pee sword fight. The point I’m clearly making is that this guy dresses like he was part of some childhood game where the participants are blindfolded and race to see how many articles of clothing they can put on before time is up.

I mean what is this guy’s thought process in the morning? “OK, let’s see here… two pairs of jeans, socks on my hands, a leather belt and car keys around my neck, a diaper, five shirts, peanut butter in my hair, tampons in my ears and finally I think I will top it all off with the kind of hat computer programmers wear on game night. Done and done!”

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16 comments so far

16 comments to “Johnny Depp’s fashion sense!”

  1. Peteon 08 Mar 2010 at 7:15 am

    Ah well, at least “Alice in Wonderland” is getting crap reviews–so maybe Depp and Burton will finally wake up and realize that not every movie they make together with Helena Bonham Forehead will be great, or even good.

  2. Andraon 08 Mar 2010 at 7:33 am

    He does dress like a hobo.

    By the way, I have watched The hurt locker and Avatar, and you are correct, Avatar is a piece of over-hyped crap. I am pretty sure it is bad enough to send you into a rage spiral.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 08 Mar 2010 at 9:10 am

    Pete – It looks terrible. Tim Burton is either great or horrible, there’s no middle ground with that guy.

    Andrea – Even that 2 minute clip of Avatar on the Academy Awards was enough to make me insane with rage.

  4. Deakonon 08 Mar 2010 at 9:50 am

    Funny Johnny has been voted most stylish and sexiest and you say he can’t dress. God forbid it’s not Gucci! How many times have you been voted best of anything? I’m not a big fan of Miley Cyrus but I don’t go talking shit on her because she has accomplished alot more thank ever could. Go get a girlfriend!

  5. Anneon 08 Mar 2010 at 11:08 am

    Don’t care what he dresses like, I’d still like to have a sword fight w/ Johnny Depp.

    Oh Deakon, thanks so much for that comment. It made my morning you raging douchebag of irony.

  6. rachelon 08 Mar 2010 at 12:19 pm

    *quivers in anticipation of a Deakon and Listy smackdown*

  7. You Just Made My List!on 08 Mar 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Deakon – You know, words hurt sir! You really are a meany.

    At least you were able to understand my point about Gucci. Clearly I was implying Mr. Depp should be covered head-to-toe in Gucci. I wasn’t sure anyone would get that point but with your above average intellect and incredible command of the English language you cracked the code.

    I thought your point about Miley Cyrus was very astute. I also thank I go alot on Miley and thank accomplishment in him could ever do on alot. You know what I mean?

    I will be honest with you though, I have been voted “best of” many times in a variety of categories. They include, but are not limited to…

    – Best Farts (beer division)
    – Best Paint Job: Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby – 3 years in a row bitch!
    – Best Pizza (I’m not sure why I was voted ‘best pizza”)
    – Best at Sexual Intercourse with Girls
    – Best Driver in the World (obviously)
    – Best Ninja Sword Battler
    – Best Ninja Throwing Star Thrower
    – Best at Looking Cool While Talking on a Cell Phone
    – Best at Living in Your Mom’s Basement

    I also won the 2nd season of Project Runway and came in second on the 1st season of Flavor of Love. The list goes on and on. What have you ever won? Best at looking like ALF?!? (I also won “Best at Crazy Mean Comebacks” in 1987.)

    Let me tell you this Deakon, don’t you ever mention my girlfriend unless you want a Ninja Sword through your scrotum. She just died Saturday in a tragic go-kart accident and the wound is still fresh! I’m sorry I don’t have a new girlfriend yet, but good lord man, the body hasn’t even cooled yet! I will obviously be advertising for a date to the funeral on CraigsList but it takes some time to find the right girl who wants a “casual encounter.” If any of you ladies want to start dating me, it could really help me out. This Deakon guy is REALLY up my ass about it!

  8. Alessaon 08 Mar 2010 at 4:15 pm

    I’m actually liking his taste in sunglasses.

  9. Paul in Saint Paulon 08 Mar 2010 at 4:33 pm

    Deakon, you fucking moron. Celebrities are to be worshipped, ignored, or despised. Johnny Depp looks like shit in the final two photos, and no “sexiest man alive” voting, mostly done by his publicist, can erase how idiotic he looks. He’s also running into the ground as an actor; Willy Wonka still stings years later. As for Miley Cyrus, she looked and talked like an awkward teenager at the Oscars, which is okay except it’s the fucking Oscars, and she’s got an army to coach her and dress her. I could do better with one of my sixth-grade kids. She’s a talentless shit that should have been flushed down the john with Hilary Duff and other disposable ilk.

    I also have seen neither Hurt Locker nor Avatar but was pleased with the former’s win. I have Avatar-fatigue.

    Listman, I have also named you “Best at Running Two Solid Minutes of Improvised Bragging About How Much Pussy You Get on a Pretend Phone Call.” I have a clip for the awards ceremony. You know the one.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 08 Mar 2010 at 4:50 pm

    Paul – That is such a cringe moment for me. Everyone else was so funny in that “movie” but I’m terrible in my scene.

  11. Paul in Saint Paulon 08 Mar 2010 at 8:22 pm

    False modesty. Everyone else was so drunk in that movie.

  12. Bobcatson 08 Mar 2010 at 9:20 pm

    Hey Listy, since I know you like obscure commercials, check out the Shoedini. And make sure your sound is on.

  13. Bobcatson 08 Mar 2010 at 9:29 pm

    I was just informed obscure does not mean what I thought it did. Very embarrassing for my college student self. I apologize, I’m just so hungry and poor I can’t think.

  14. You Just Made My List!on 08 Mar 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Bobcats – What the hell? Who thought THAT would be a good idea?

  15. Bobcatson 08 Mar 2010 at 9:31 pm

    I heard it on the tv and thought, “that voice? Where the FUCK is that coming from?!?”

  16. SAon 17 Mar 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Yes, he should just take his clothes off… all off… all the time.