Mar 18 2010

Shows about Kirstie Alley being fat!

Published by at 3:28 am under I Don't Get It,Sucky TV

kirstie alley fat tv show

Kirstie, can you stay off my TV for two seconds, my entertainment center* can’t support your fat ass anymore.

Everyone’s favorite jiggly tub of sausage is back with a new show about… drum roll… being fat! She first rolled (literally) her way into our living rooms with “Fat Actress.” I never saw the show but I’m assuming most episodes centered around Kirstie being fat and talking about being fat. Oh the good times I must have missed! The beast that ate Kirstie Alley (that would have been a way more kick ass title) is back with a new program called “Kirstie Alley’s Big Life,” but this time around the show is about Kirstie being fat and talking about being fat.

I checked IMDB and Kirstie Alley has been in at least 10 shows about being fat…

– Jesus Christ, Kirstie Alley is Fucking Fat!
– Kirstie Alley Eats Her Way Out of Bags Made of Meat
– Kirstie Alley: Only Slightly Less Attractive Than When She Was Thin.
– STAND BACK, ME HUNGRY!
– Cheers
– Hey, Kirstie Alley Just Ate Everything in My House and Drank My Pool!
– Kirstie Alley Tries to Reach Things
– Look Who’s Choking Now
– I’m a Celebrity, Please Help Me Put My Pants On
– Cloggin’ Da Toilet Wit Da ‘K Dog’ Yo!

We get it Kirstie, YOU’RE FAT!

Writing this made me hungry.

*I don’t actually own an entertainment center.

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15 comments so far

15 comments to “Shows about Kirstie Alley being fat!”

  1. 8bitheroon 18 Mar 2010 at 7:19 am

    Not for nothing, but I’d probably watch Kirstie Alley Eats Her Way Out of Bags Made of Meat. It’d be like watching the Lions on Discovery.

  2. Saraon 18 Mar 2010 at 7:20 am

    It didn’t list “To catch a predator…who’s been luring in girl scouts with ZuZu pets” ??
    There’s an awesome episode where one girl looses her whole hand for not dropping the samoas ™ fast enough.

    The woman admited to eating “WHOLE LOAFS OF BREAD” in one sitting. This is her “favorite snack”, do you think she ever just zones out and keeps eating only to realize half her arm is in her mouth?

  3. rachelon 18 Mar 2010 at 9:42 am

    What about Kirstie’s countless appearances on OPRAH??.. it’s a FAT FEST! all they talk about is FATTY FATTY FAT FAT!

    *of course you don’t own an entertainment center..your flat screen is hanging over the fireplace, right?*

  4. Jayon 18 Mar 2010 at 11:28 am

    Oprah is just as bad as Kirstie, she has her own personal chef and every resource at her fingertips yet can’t slim down. Why anyone would look to either to shed light on the subject is beyond me.

  5. Saraon 18 Mar 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Yea speaking of Oprah why do women listen to Oprah’s advise to loose weight? She’s been messsing her’s up her whole life, same with marriage advise, never been married, and “va jay jays” bitch don’t use her’s.

  6. hodanon 18 Mar 2010 at 2:06 pm

    but do you remember when kristie alley use to be hot?
    yeah its been thaaaaaaat long ago.

  7. Andraon 18 Mar 2010 at 2:13 pm

    One thing you did not address is her raggedy jagged teeth. I am totally annoyed by all her fat talk but what really gets me is her awful mouth! She has enough money to eat all the time, why can’t she go see an orthodontist?

  8. You Just Made My List!on 18 Mar 2010 at 2:56 pm

    Rachel – Right!

    Sara / Jay – Oprah is the worst.

    Hodan – No, I don’t.

    Andra – I can’t look at her long enough to notice her teeth, but I will start now. Thanks for making my life just a little bit worse.

  9. UltimateChaseon 19 Mar 2010 at 6:21 am

    This baffles me. I guess not a lot of celebrities get fat or something. Was some main TV guy like, “Hey guys, you know all those celebrities that don’t matter at all anymore? One of them got fucking FAT. Let’s do some TV shows! It’ll be awesome!” I’m fat. Being fat is pretty cool I guess, but no one should go on TV because they were on Cheers at one point and then ate too many delicious pizzas at another point. You were already on Cheers, just go home and have your pizzas by yourself and don’t tell everybody about it. You don’t have to be on TV, bitch. Almost no one is.

  10. Paul in Saint Paulon 19 Mar 2010 at 6:31 am

    Well, you get to learn that Kirstie Alley keeps caged lemurs in her home:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/19/arts/television/19big.html?th&emc=th

  11. You Just Made My List!on 19 Mar 2010 at 8:04 am

    Paul – The first time I saw one running around in the background of the commercial I thought Raccoons were following her hoping to pick up the many scraps of food that must constantly fall from her mouth. The weird thing is that I kind of like her. I like how nuts she is, but I just don’t need more shows about her being fat taking up air time that could be used for the next Arrested Development.

    I am very insightful.

  12. jasonon 19 Mar 2010 at 11:02 am

    wow, lots of good all that scientology stuff did for her. she is nowhere close to being the homo novis it was promised her. but she is most likely $1 million poorer for it. what a dumb ass she is.

  13. Smiffion 22 Mar 2010 at 11:07 am

    I’m gonna eat burgers til i get obese n make a show about it. Im way better than her!

  14. Paul in Saint Paulon 01 Apr 2010 at 7:56 am

    This might help explain your secret fondness for Kirstie Alley. Even I was partially won over:

    http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature/122681-the-up-side-of-being-plus-sized-kirstie-alley-and-her-big-life/

  15. Ahksehl83on 01 Jul 2013 at 11:27 am

    Kirstie Alley is America’s favorite train wreck. A position formerly held by people such as replaced Liz Taylor and Liza Minelli.