Mar 31 2010

People who do the “butter churn” dance and think it’s HILARIOUS!

Published by at 3:22 am under Why?!?

white people churning butter dance

How to “churn the butter”

Step one – Be white.

Step two – Drink two beers (preferably light beer).

Step three – Place upper teeth over bottom lip.

Step four – Think it’s 1989.

Step five – Extend arms from body and move them in circles (preferably not in rhythm to the shitty music playing at your lame office party).

Step six – Look around office party proudly, for you are now the funniest guy in Mergers and Acquisitions.

Step seven – Poop out what little dignity you have left and give up on life*

*If you are male, now is a good time to get adjusted to the new vagina in your Dockers.

These kids think churning butter is funny. These kids are wrong.

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15 comments so far

15 comments to “People who do the “butter churn” dance and think it’s HILARIOUS!”

  1. Jeffon 31 Mar 2010 at 4:41 am

    So what dance do you do? The stand-there-and-bob-your-head? The shoulder-shift-and-snap? Or the ‘ironic bus stop’?

  2. Peteon 31 Mar 2010 at 6:41 am

    it wasn’t fun or funny in 1989 either. White people who do that should be mercy killed. I think we can all agree it’s the right thing to do.

  3. Jim Joneson 31 Mar 2010 at 7:39 am

    Alcohol, making dumb asses act like retards for over 6,000 years

  4. You Just Made My List!on 31 Mar 2010 at 7:43 am

    Jeff – I simply don’t dance.

  5. utter_scoundrelon 31 Mar 2010 at 8:04 am

    “Real men don’t dance. They sit, sweat, and curse.” – Bill Hicks

  6. Saraon 31 Mar 2010 at 8:05 am

    I like to see different peoples “go to” dance. Mine is arms about shoulder height hands in fists doin’ like a bump bump with my hips. like a groovy t-rex. I find the hands close to the body is better then my friend’s shot in one hand cigerette flailing around in the other, burning peoples hair and ashing in their beer.

    Then of course there’s the hammer

  7. You Just Made My List!on 31 Mar 2010 at 8:10 am

    utter scoundrel – I would like to add farting to that list. I fart at a professional level.

  8. Paul in Saint Paulon 31 Mar 2010 at 10:44 am

    I think the butter churn and simultaneous farting would make a tremendous combination on the dance floor. You may have a niche here.

  9. Jayon 31 Mar 2010 at 10:52 am

    I’ve seen quite a bit of butter churning and robot moves (another go to for dorks) at weddings as well. Dancing is fun though, I highly recommend it.

  10. rachelon 31 Mar 2010 at 12:06 pm

    the “Elaine” is always a great go-to, if you don’t really know how to dance.

  11. Saraon 31 Mar 2010 at 12:21 pm

    Oh my husband does “the train” move. I just remembered how dumb that looks. We dance with my 3 year old, he tries to break dance…..and we all fart to the rythem.

    Sense we’re quoting Bill Hicks
    “I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin’ mouth.”

    Listy reminds me of Hicks’ contempt for the world, I miss that.

  12. Scotty Ton 31 Mar 2010 at 12:56 pm

    I would just like to personally thank you for signing on Clutch Tees as a sponsor. The models on their banners are considerably more attractive on their banners (‘Obama said knock you out’ girl, wow) than the other nostalgia-based t-shirt companies. Plus, and I speak for everyone I’m so modestly sure, I was getting tired of blondie-with-her-shirt-halfway-off-and-below-nip-boobage anyhow. Makes it hard for at-work viewage anyway. Keep on truckin broseph!

  13. AddyTxon 26 Aug 2010 at 1:47 pm

    THIS ONE IS MY FAVE. hahahahahahahahah!!!!!

  14. nickon 16 Jan 2011 at 3:55 am

    Fu@k you n!ggers. Whitey will still have more money when it’s over with…. HA!!!

  15. You Just Made My List!on 17 Jan 2011 at 8:15 am