May 13 2010

People who dress the same in family portraits!

Published by at 3:13 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

family portrait all dressed the same

You want to know what keeps me up at night? (See above)

When did this shit start? Not only are they all wearing matching pants, but they all have matching genitalia crammed into those matching Walmart jeans because no man who allows this to happen has a penis.

I guess if your goal is to make everyone think your entire family works at the same electronics store this is a good idea, otherwise knock it off. Put your foot down, Steve, and say, “Gosh dang it Brenda, I told you ten times, I’m wearing my jean jacket embossed with the Coca-Cola logo and my favorite jean shorts and I really don’t give a hoot what you and the kids wear! I’m me. I’m STEVE! Steve likes his jean jackets with corduroy sleeves and Steve likes his jorts. If you need me I will be in the basement playing with Steve’s, I mean my, trains.” (Door slams… framed “Footprints in the Sand” falls to the floor and shatters like so many of Steve’s dreams.)

Steve doesn’t need this shit, not now, not like this, Brenda.

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26 comments so far

26 comments to “People who dress the same in family portraits!”

  1. Peteon 13 May 2010 at 7:30 am

    Saaaay…who’s the babe on the left in the upper left photo?


  2. Saraon 13 May 2010 at 8:32 am

    Jesus Pete she’s like 14.

    I was listening to NPR and this woman was all crying that her family beach photo buisness was going to close because of the oil spill, I’m like OH NO! One less person taking photos of families stacked on top of eachother in khakis and white polos! I hope BP finds that a non-justifiable claim.

  3. Jonathanon 13 May 2010 at 9:47 am

    I don’t have anything to add regarding ass-clown white folks taking retarded family pictures, but here’s something else I’m sure will bring your rage to a boil:

    It’s some fat fucking hipster twittering in the persona of his cat. And he has 1.5 million followers. I weep for our nation.

  4. Tinaon 13 May 2010 at 9:49 am

    I’m a photographer and I fucking hate when my clients do this. I give them a wardrobe suggestion guide and they still show up in matching white t-shirts and jeans like it’s 1998.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 13 May 2010 at 9:54 am

    Jonathan – God damn you. DAMN YOU TO HELL! Why ruin my morning?

    Tina – It’s sad isn’t it? People are just so predictable and uncreative. I’m sorry you have to be a part of this crime against humanity.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 13 May 2010 at 9:55 am

    Sara – That photo makes me ashamed to be white.

  7. Saraon 13 May 2010 at 1:50 pm

    I took your comment into consideration

    They look so cool and NOT DOUCHY, I’m singing Quenn Latifa’s UNITY in my head.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 13 May 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Sara – Damn those black people for always looking cool!

  9. Adion 13 May 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Jesus! My parents used to dress me and my brother the same for family portraits and it pissed me off. In every portrait of me as a child i have a scowl on my face because i’m in some starchy shirt with the buttons done all the way to the top.

  10. kenon 13 May 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Check your e-mail box, Listy. My wife just sent you a picture of her and her entire family wearing matching “I’m a Pepper” t-shirts, circa 1980. Priceless.

  11. You Just Made My List!on 13 May 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Ken – It is the most incredible family portrait ever. I fully approve!

  12. Heathon 13 May 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Fuck you Brenda! Steve is his own man, he doesn’t need you jive talkin’, shut your whore mouth.

  13. You Just Made My List!on 13 May 2010 at 5:25 pm


  14. Ericaon 13 May 2010 at 10:46 pm

    I have to assume you have seen this website:

    If not, I HIGHLY recommend it…but it will ruin your day, no life! Some of the creepiest idiots on earth!

  15. Ericaon 13 May 2010 at 10:47 pm

    Oh and this takes the “dressing alike” crown:

  16. Ericaon 13 May 2010 at 11:03 pm

    Ok…sorry and this one had me falling off my chair!! I must, must, must have this made into a full size, poster for my living room:

    Last one I promise!

  17. You Just Made My List!on 13 May 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Erica – Good lord I love this site. Thanks, I have never seen it before. This one is pure art!

  18. Ericaon 13 May 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Awesome, glad you like it!! And maybe you can explain why there are so many terrifying Easter bunnies??? And so many pics of pregnant ladies with dead animals? WTF?

  19. UltimateChaseon 14 May 2010 at 3:30 am

    I’m with you 100% on this one. You shouldn’t plan a family photo, it should just happen at an event. Everyone put down your forks and smile for a second. But, assuming you feel like you need to have your family prepare for a group picture and have a “real” photographer take it for you, there is still no excuse for this level of fake bullshit nonsense. My sister-in-law is a “photographer.” She takes high-quality pictures of uninspired Christian fluff. She’s one of those local photographers who advertise for weddings, proms and baby pictures (no boobs, no dudes jump kicking over flames, no tigers eating a fresh donkey or whatever they eat.) Anyway, I’m taking my little family up to spend some time in my hometown in a few weeks and it seems I’ve got myself trapped in one of these fake-ass bullshit photo sessions. Everyone else in the family apperantly has already agreed to it. So, while I will be walking around a lake, posing like an asshole with my fiance and stepson, smiling at the horizon, I promise we will not be wearing the same outfit. I will pose for your pictures, sister-in-law, but a man has to draw a line. For me, that means wearing a tie that didn’t come from Walmart and probably also showing up late, drunk and in a hurry to leave.

  20. You Just Made My List!on 14 May 2010 at 8:24 am

    Ultimate – Oh boy, good luck with that. Also, I liked your description of the perfect family photo. These staged monstrosities are soulless and sterile.

  21. eddkatzon 16 May 2010 at 12:29 am

    People that dress alike?

    lol, I took a job at a place that published church yearbooks and directories.

    I graduated to having to pick the best shots for each yearbook. Now, ‘picture’ this-

    Most of these families have children who were challenged.

    They would all dress the same, plus you got the one kid staring off into outer space while everyone is looking into the camera.

    The photog would take three or four shots and in every one the poor kid was looking someplace else.


    I have a pal that does that with his xmas cards. I don;t bother to open them anymore….

  22. Peteon 17 May 2010 at 7:32 am

    Sara, I didn’t say anything uncouth about her. I just said, “Saaaaay…” relax, I’m no pedo.

  23. You're a Dumbshiton 17 May 2010 at 11:47 am

    You’re a fucking idiot. Hey, I have an idea…. let’s all wear different color shirts so THEY become the attention grabber in the picture instead of US.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 17 May 2010 at 12:37 pm

    You’re a dumbshit – You make a good point and in such an intelligent way.

    I think I see what you are saying but let me make sure. You’re saying that you and your family are so stupid and easily distracted by things like clothing in different colors that you need to put everyone in the same outfit in order to recognize them in photos. I see your point. Maybe you should take a giant tarp and cut holes for each person to be photographed. That way you could all stick your heads through and there would be no fear of being confused by mismatched T-shirts.

    Is it hard for your family to walk around and do normal things? I mean going to the grocery store with all those colors must be a nightmare for you guys!

    Hey, I just had the best idea! You guys should wear name tags at all times! That would be perfect for you. Name tags AND uniforms! You should all get the same haircut too, just in case.

  25. Canaduckon 02 Dec 2010 at 9:03 pm

    When I was about 15 in the mid 90s, we had a huge family portrait very similar to that last one, where there are about 25 people all standing around awkwardly in white shirts and blue jeans. It was moronic. 🙁

  26. You Just Made My List!on 02 Dec 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Canaduck – That is child abuse.