May 18 2010

NewSeat disposable seat covers!

Published by at 3:37 am under Why?!?,Your Movie Stinks

NewSeat.com seat covers

Have you ever gone to a wedding and thought, “This reception is beautiful. The room is lovely, the flowers are spectacular, the china is immaculate but there is no fucking way I’m sitting on that chair without first covering it with a giant garbage bag! I don’t give a shit if the bride and groom take offense to it, I REFUSE to sit on that chair without putting a giant condom on it first.”

Well guess what psycho? You are in luck thanks to the ridiculous NewSeat!

NewSeat is a single-use chair cover for people who want to tell the world “I’m here. I’m crazy. Get used to it.” You think I’m kidding about the wedding scenario? According to NewSeat.com a wedding is just one of the perfectly normal places to use their chair cover. You can also look normal while using your NewSeat at seminars, conferences and “live stage performances.” Nothing makes you look more normal at a business seminar than refusing to let your fully clothed body touch a chair.

You may not know this but chair-related deaths are up 300% since 2005. I’m sure we all know someone who is battling an illness picked up from sitting on a chair. Just last week I participated in “Sit for a Cure” and I can only assume many of you did as well. GOD DAMN YOU CHAIRS! Sorry, I just get really emotional because in the last two years I have lost three family members to chair illnesses.

Another suggested use for the NewSeat is on an airplane. Hey great idea! I always found airplane seats to be a little too comfortable and often thought my six hour plane ride could be made better if I was sitting on an impervious sheet of plastic.

If there’s one thing I know about teenagers it’s that they LOVE to stand out and look different from their friends. They NEVER want to simply blend in and look like each other. Luckily for them NewSeat works for kids too! I can’t think of a single better way to get in with the popular crowd than to cover your chair at the movie theater with a tarp before sitting in it. When the other teens see you setting up for a hazardous material spill before watching Hot Tub Time Machine they will surely make a mental note to put YOUR name down for prom queen.

While the rest of the world cries and moans about “going green,” NewSeat has the balls to say “Fuck you environment, I’m covering every chair I sit on with a giant piece of plastic and then I’m just going to fucking leave it there when I’m done. What are you going do about it? Nothing, just like I thought.”

The next time you go to a movie theater built in 1910, bring a NewSeat!

Whatever! Like, I’m totally not sitting on that chair, it’s like gross-out city to the max. LOL. LMAO. BFF. WTF?

    23 comments so far

    23 comments to “NewSeat disposable seat covers!”

    1. Kathyon 18 May 2010 at 5:48 am

      It’s the tiny creatures. I fear the little tiny creatures! I’ve got to have one of these for my bed and my pillow, because they’re full of little tiny creatures too!

      Why didn’t they just show the annoying soccer mom putting one down for little Johnny at the doctor’s office (using rubber gloves), since surely that place is just teeming with little tiny creatures ready to infest your precious offspring.

    2. Peteon 18 May 2010 at 7:34 am

      I can understand those paper toilet seat covers–there’s something about putting one’s bare ass on a public toilet seat that has known the touch of 10,000 other asses and their effluence. But these things I don’t get. If a chair at the movie theater looks like someone filmed a porno on it, don’t sit there. Sit someplace else.

    3. Saraon 18 May 2010 at 7:37 am

      Southern Dandies and Tom Wolfe types do it better with the hankerchief daintily layed on the chair, or under their knees on the bathroom floor while vomiting up 16 ounces of mint julip. It just adds class.

      You sure watch alot of infomercials, what kind of hours do you keep anyway?

    4. Xinaon 18 May 2010 at 8:13 am

      I think I’ll just cut out the middle man and poke a few holes in the plastic bag and cover myself. I mean, when we’re living in a world when not even a chair is safe why take any chances?

    5. Joeyon 18 May 2010 at 11:42 am

      Please please please ask them about placing the You Just Made My List logo on New Seat!

    6. UltimateChaseon 18 May 2010 at 12:16 pm

      Whoa, that is super retarded. The only practical application I can even imagine for that product is for sitting on patio furniture. It’s annoying to go to a BBQ and sit down outside and get all kinds of leaves and shit stuck to the back of your shirt and your butt. But still, Jesus, I can brush that shit off or find somewhere else to sit. It is impossible for someone to use this NewSeat nonsense without looking like an enormous asshole and probably offending the hell out of whoever owns the chair they are covering up.

    7. Oryxon 18 May 2010 at 12:54 pm

      Retarded, but it doesn’t beat the Fart Blanket!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw&feature=player_embedded

    8. You Just Made My List!on 18 May 2010 at 1:52 pm

      Oryx – I disagree, the fart blanket is awesome!

    9. Oryxon 18 May 2010 at 2:09 pm

      lol thought you might say that

    10. Jonathanon 18 May 2010 at 2:15 pm

      WHAT.

      THE.

      FUCK.

      The only thing missing was the part where some dingbat broad tries to sit down and misses the chair entirely while the narrator asks if I hate it when this happens.

    11. Tomon 18 May 2010 at 3:07 pm

      I disagree. I personally know women that like to wear miniskirts without underwear who would be happy to buy this product.
      http://poorlydressed.com/2010/04/28/fashion-fail-jersey-shore/

    12. UltimateChaseon 18 May 2010 at 5:20 pm

      Jesus, I’m glad I don’t “personally know” women that like to wear miniskirts without underwear. That is ridiculous. My girlfriend would be mad at me all the time. Plus our friendship would never work. I ride a lot of escalators. It’d just be a disaster. I am so sorry, Tom. I’m sorry you know weird, trashy broads. Miniskirt + no panties = only in the bedroom or a strip club.

    13. [...] the fine folks at You Just Made My List!] var a2a_config = a2a_config || {}; a2a_config.linkname="NewSeat Seat Covers"; [...]

    14. Perryon 19 May 2010 at 12:13 am

      Jesus.

      Could you imagine seeing some ass throwing his seat cover over a mall massage chair?

    15. Tommyon 19 May 2010 at 2:24 pm

      The only reasonable use for one of these things is an impromptu dexter style slaughtering. Easy clean up, no evidence.

    16. Laurenon 27 Jan 2011 at 3:05 pm

      Listy you asshole!! I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and now my stomach hurts thanks a lot!

    17. jdeburcaon 15 Mar 2011 at 1:31 am

      Oh my god stop! I have to lose the link to this site or I know I’ll be back. Whoever you are, I love the way you think. Thanks again for the laughs.

    18. Lisaon 16 Jan 2012 at 11:06 pm

      Well. I think this is an excellent idea. Have fun getting sick and picking up diseases dumb asses! Ha whoever owns this website is one idiotic person. I feel sorry for him.

    19. You Just Made My List!on 16 Jan 2012 at 11:40 pm

      Lisa – Yeah, just think of all those millions of people dying each year from the “diseases” they catch from movie seats. How fucking dumb are you Lisa? How many times has your stupid ass gotten sick from sitting on a chair? Can you sense the rage building inside of me Lisa? Can you tell how much I despise your tiny mind Lisa? I have such utter contempt for people like you, you fucking simpleton. Seriously, what is wrong with you? Please do the planet a favor and never breed.

    20. Lisaon 17 Jan 2012 at 8:24 am

      Aw you’re so cute. Wish I could be more like you. But fortunately, I have much better things to do than sit around on a computer all day making an ass out of myself.

    21. You Just Made My List!on 17 Jan 2012 at 1:11 pm

      Congratulations on being the 10,000th person to attempt an insult with the “sitting on the computer all day” comeback. Very inspired and original work!

      Oh Lisa. Sweet sweet dumb Lisa, if you only knew the truth about me and my life.

      Now stop wasting your time on the computer and continue your crusade against diseased chairs! Hurry, the chairs are winning Lisa!

    22. rayneon 18 Nov 2012 at 1:31 pm

      Actually a GOOD IDEA.———-> You guys are mainly thinking diseases and germs. The real proectant here is for LICE!

    23. You Just Made My List!on 19 Nov 2012 at 5:01 pm

      You can’t honestly believe that. You just can’t.