May 21 2010

The new biker gang Miracle Whip commercial!

Published by at 3:13 am under I Don't Get It,Sucky TV

miracle whip bikers commercial

new miracle whip motorcylce commercial

What the hell is on this sandwich you just gave me? Is that mayo? You just fucked up bro… big time! Now stand back while I kill this sandwich with my gun that shoots Miracle Whip bottles!

Guess what hipsters, the Hells Angels are here to take your precious Miracle Whip out of your tiny hands and fucking stick ’em on the back of our motorcycles while we crisscross the country committing crimes and fucking shit up! That’s right, dude on the moped, just a few months ago you would have been considered hip and eccentric enough to eat Miracle Whip but not anymore you fucking dork, the bikers have reclaimed Miracle Whip.

Oh, and another thing bitch, we don’t have time to say “Miracle Whip” so hence forth this shit is gonna be fucking called “MW” and if you have a problem with it take it up with the complaint department (pointing to my crotch).

Holy shit, there’s nothing I love more than getting jacked on Jack Daniels and MW and punching some old lady in the fucking face. One time this fucking pig pulled me over on my way to Sturgis and was like “Hey you, your plates are expired.” I was like “My plates are expired? MY PLATES ARE EXPIRED?!?” and I threw a handful of MW in his pig face and was like “Now whose plates are expired motherfucker?”

One night me and my old lady stole an El Camino, robbed a liquor store, did a shitload of coke, got MW tattoos and banged in the porta-toilet at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Is that REAL enough for you, mayonnaise? That’s what I thought.

LET’S RIDE!

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10 comments so far

10 comments to “The new biker gang Miracle Whip commercial!”

  1. pigdooron 21 May 2010 at 5:44 am

    SWEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!

  2. Jeffon 21 May 2010 at 6:37 am

    ..and your point is?

  3. Saraon 21 May 2010 at 7:45 am

    I’m sorry MW is already reserved for Michelle Williams. Just the other day I was all like “Did you hear that MW and RG (Ryan Gosling for those out of the loop) are dating?!? Oh Snap!”

    so I’ll just stick with calling it “The Whip”……TO THE EXTREME!

  4. Jim Joneson 21 May 2010 at 8:22 am

    I thought an episode of South Park a while back cleared up that bikers are no longer called bikers but fags?

  5. You Just Made My List!on 21 May 2010 at 8:33 am

    Jeff – Exactly.

    Sara – Michelle Williams is going to have to change her name.

  6. Tommyon 21 May 2010 at 11:52 am

    I just killed myself

  7. kenon 22 May 2010 at 2:56 pm

    MW has the exact same number of syllables as Miracle Whip, so the abbreviation is pointless.

    It does crack me up that MW is trying to become hip.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 23 May 2010 at 10:58 am

    Ken – HA! Good point. If I was a better writer I would have noticed that.

  9. Saraon 24 May 2010 at 8:15 am

    I just got a sample of MW in my sunday newspaper……I find it slightly repulsive that there is extreme salad dressing in my newspaper

  10. You Just Made My List!on 24 May 2010 at 9:21 am

    Sara – That is disgusting!