Jun 09 2010

The Karate Kid 2010 with Jaden Smith!

Published by at 3:49 am under Your Movie Stinks

the karate kid 2010 with Jaden Smith sucks

Take me now lord, I’m ready.

You know what sucked? The first Karate Kid movie! Yeah that’s right, the original Karate Kid with Ralph Macchio, Mr. Miyagi and everyone’s favorite blond bad boy Johnny Lawrence was a steaming pile of shit. You only liked it because you were 10 years old and fell asleep nightly to the fantasy of kicking the ass of that older kid who ripped your parachute pants and took your Merlin.*

If the 1984 Karate Kid was a piece of shit then consider the 2010 version with Jackie Chan and that insufferable brat Jaden Smith a piece of shit that was eaten by a dog, barfed up and re-eaten by another dog and re-shat upon a hot summer sidewalk. I can’t change the channel fast enough when I see one of the self-righteous Smith clan on my TV. In fact, the other night I could not find the remote when the Karate Kid commercial came on and I literally had to move to a new house. I fucking walked right out the door, left everything behind and started a new life.

Oh, the nightmare does not end with the movie. Watch the following Justin Bieber music video for “Never Say Never” at your own risk. It’s good to see Jaden Smith continue the long Smith legacy of horribly bland rap. Justin Bieber looks like Chuck D. compared to Smith in this clip.

*HOLY FUCK, MERLIN RULED!

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29 comments so far

29 comments to “The Karate Kid 2010 with Jaden Smith!”

  1. Jim Joneson 09 Jun 2010 at 6:55 am

    The only good thing I see about this movie is the funny ass picture you have here of Smith taking a shit!

  2. CreatureofHabiton 09 Jun 2010 at 7:38 am

    I kicked so much ass on Merlin (the memory game). I loved it!

    I hate those self-righteous Smiths with all their sex and good looks and success. Fucking assholes, the whole lot of them.

  3. Saraon 09 Jun 2010 at 8:10 am

    wow for a second I did not realize that was photo shopped and totaly though he was taking a dump, hey movies these days love doing extreme dookie jokes.

    Don’t forget the 2nd Karate Kid movie with Hillary Swank. She used her giaganto teeth to eat her competition

  4. utter_scoundrelon 09 Jun 2010 at 9:22 am

    Merlin did indeed rule.

    This should amuse you:

    http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/justin_bieber

  5. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jun 2010 at 9:32 am

    I can take on 29 Biebers!

  6. Tommyon 09 Jun 2010 at 10:43 am

    Sara: that was the 4th Karate Kid movie. FU guy daniel san ruled

  7. ffafon 09 Jun 2010 at 11:06 am

    Speaking of Justin Bieber…..

    http://failblog.org/2010/06/07/epic-fail-photos-music-section-win/

  8. Saraon 09 Jun 2010 at 11:57 am

    I was fooled again! Maybe I just realy WANT to see that kid taking a dump.

    Tommy: shit your right, there were more with Machio, maybe I ment the second generation, this new one being the third, until this one is nostalgic and they make a 4th…….it will never end.

  9. Ericaon 09 Jun 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Listy – thank you for this one! I have taken my 4 year old to see Shrek 4 and How to Train Your Dragon and this MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT trailer comes on at each showing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My 4 year old turns to me and asks why this movies looks so “weird”…what the fuck can I say to that???

    It is WEIRD because it is a god awful piece of fucking garbage that was funded by Will Smith and the Scientologists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THEM. I am so sick of this nepotism.

    And check out this pic of their other hideous spawn:

    http://movies.yahoo.com/photos/red-carpet/gallery/2663/the-karate-kid-la-premiere#photo17

    I swear if my daughter even THINKS of wearing any of that fucking mess I will have to kill her. Yup, kill her.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jun 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Sara – I am obviously an expert at Photoshop. Specifically shit related photo comping.

    FFAF – Very nice.

    Erica – Probably the best thing to do in that situation is to immediately dump out your popcorn tub and slam it over your daughter’s head. Then start screaming so she can not hear or see any of the trailer. Possibly a few light whacks on the bucket, just to make sure she does not absorb any of the Smith poison. Also, that photo scares me, I hate their entire family. Actual hate.

  11. Jonathanon 09 Jun 2010 at 1:51 pm

    I can’t believe noone has pointed out the most glaring problem with this fucking shitfest of a fucking movie: they’re in CHINA learning KUNG FU, not in JAPAN learning KARATE. IT’S NOT THE KARATE KID IF HE’S LEARNING KUNG FU.

    FUCK YOU WILL SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. You Just Made My List!on 09 Jun 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Jonathan – You deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for uncovering this fact!

  13. Jayon 09 Jun 2010 at 6:14 pm

    You know a movie is going to blow if anyone from the Smith clan is involved. I haven’t seen the Karate Kid since it played at The Glen, but I’ll take your word for it that it doesn’t hold up.

  14. icecycle66on 09 Jun 2010 at 8:14 pm

    That kid from Tiger Beat Magazine you guys keep talking about got kicked out of some 21 and over club recently. SO said the headline I didn’t click on.

  15. Adion 10 Jun 2010 at 12:32 am

    I liked the first Karate Kid, at least up until Ralph Macchio started winning. Watching some doofus Jersey guido (no offense to the classy eye-talians out there) get his ass thumped always makes my day. In any case Karate is a Japanese martial art, this shitpile is about Kung Fu which is Chinese (Jonathan already pointed this out). Then we have a ghetto black kid who for some fucking reason lives in rural China. The sheer amount of cultural fuck-uppery in this movie is truly something. Oh yeah, and fuck that squealing eunuch in the video.

  16. pigdooron 10 Jun 2010 at 1:21 am

    i never thought one person could provoke such burning hatred in me til i discovered justin bieber. i mean come on dont u just wanna smash his fuckin face in??

  17. Kathyon 11 Jun 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Listy, because I love ya:
    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c8ad4aa802/wax-on-f-ck-off-with-ralph-macchio

  18. You Just Made My List!on 11 Jun 2010 at 7:14 pm

    Kathy – Thanks, it was genius (just like me)

  19. matton 17 Jul 2010 at 10:02 am

    “You could just turn off the TV.” That’s what some cunt of misery said to me in rebuttal to the fact that everything related to The Karate Kid makes me want to drink my own urine whilst walking on fried rice paper in protest. I hated all my friends who liked Kung Fu with whatever half-Japanese half-Border Collie Carradine was in it. Yes those friends thought they could karate chop me in the nuts but I had the power of of Terry O’Reilly and his devastating left hook. (insert Chicago Blackhawk ruffian from 1978 here, all I can think of is Keith Magnuson but I refuse to google it)
    You are a funny fucker, by the way.

  20. Fredon 13 Sep 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Karate Kid 2011

    Ralph Maccio kicks Justin Beiber in the nuts.*

    *Assuming Beiber hasn’t disappeared by then.

  21. Willemon 15 Sep 2010 at 3:01 am

    There was so much to hate about this movie. I had to see it on the airplane on my way home from the US. It was playing on the big screen. I tried to knock myself out but I was just not sleepy enough to avoid this piece of garbage. From all the terrible things about this movie and all the illogical storylines I just can’t get my head around the idea that nobody ever questioned why the hell that bitch mother of Dr. Dre was sent to China in the first place? They vaguely mention something about a job or so, but you can not even begin to wonder what a single mom from a New York suburb could probably be doing in Bejing? And the scenes of Dre falling in love with that Chinese toddler, really made me wanna scratch my eyes out. Thanks Delta for stealing those 2 hours, like the airplane food wasn’s bad enough allready.

  22. SmithDoucheHateron 20 Sep 2010 at 5:09 am

    God, how I would like to punch the brat’s ugly corny little head in! I just cannot believe the arrogance of the Smith’s. Will Smith is an overrated shitty actor, if you ask me. He acts the same in all of his movies and nobody except his retarded fans are buying his sad fucking eyes. God awful!!
    And now we get his little ugly scientology spawn to boot. Fucking Hollywood…

    Sorry for all the cussing. I have nothing else to add but more cussing.

  23. mee!!!on 01 Nov 2010 at 11:35 pm

    wtf..!! why don’t u fuck ur mama u don’t have idea what ur saying jaden is the coolest actor i know and there’s no reason to trate him like that just because u don’t like him or his family,, ‘n’ all smith family is very talentous … u know what go to hell !!!chupa vergaaa!!! chupasela a tu madre imbecil !!! and u know what else…. i loooooove justin bieber too everybody loves himmm..!! FUUCKK UUU!!¡¡¡

  24. You Just Made My List!on 02 Nov 2010 at 12:00 am

    I weep for our future.

  25. Amica Stoneon 17 Nov 2010 at 7:13 pm

    Lot of you need to be a shame of yourself…If you don’t like the film don’t FUCKING WATCH IT,
    Get a fucking life and stop bad mouthing good people’s hard work…How stupid can you be to think Will Smith was the reason why JS got the role….He men to the casting like many other Actors…I know that for a fact.

    Some of you guys must have a FUCKED UP LIFE with SUCKS to go bad mouthing other people’s hard work.

    FINALLY, THE FILM YOU FUCKING HATE AND HATE THERE FAMILIES UP WELL ALL OVER THE WORLD AND MADE Columbia Pictures, China Film Group, Jerry Weintraub Productions more money that they expected.
    MADE FOR $40 million AND GROSS OVER $358,434,074

  26. You Just Made My List!on 17 Nov 2010 at 9:31 pm

    Amica – If you don’t like my opinion don’t fucking read it.

    It makes perfect sense that an adult who writes at a 3rd grade level would be such a huge fan of the Smith family. Thanks for proving my point!

    Now go buy an English book.

  27. Joe mamaon 04 Dec 2010 at 1:07 pm

    This movie sucked, did not ever pay to see it.
    The entire smith family should stop doing anything we might see on tv or film. If they want to dance like a monkey, the would be better then anything they have done

  28. Tamaron 11 May 2011 at 8:49 am

    you’re just so jalous,
    all guys want to be as pretty and famous as Jsmith and JB
    that’s why they are making fun off them.
    it’s so sad.
    good luck with your sadness!

  29. You Just Made My List!on 12 May 2011 at 11:11 pm

    Tamar – I looked up “jalous” in the dictionary but found no such word. Can you please let me know what it means? I’m dying to know!