Jun 16 2010

Lady Gaga!

Published by at 3:40 am under Crappy Music

Lady Gaga sucks

I’ve avoided talking about this bore for as long as possible but I just can’t take it anymore.

Can we please agree to stop pretending this empty bag is “interesting” and “provocative?” And for the love of GOD, what will it take to stop saying every new female “artist” is the “next Madonna?” I’m sorry but Madonna was tolerable at best so being the next Madonna is like being the next Bud Light.

Yeah, you heard me, Madonna really wasn’t that great. Compared to Lady Gaga, however, Madonna was fucking Johann Sebastian Bach. Compared to Madonna, Lady Gaga is simply Sebastian Bach.*

You can’t polish a turd but apparently if you put that same turd in a costume made out of tampons it’s suddenly pushing artistic boundaries. Here’s an idea, work on the music first and once that’s perfected dress up like cereal boxes all day long. Actually no, forget that, I’m officially declaring no more costumes for anyone. It’s been done and it’s been done better… David Bowie, Kiss, Devo, David Byrne, The Village People, GWAR, The Ramones, Elton John, The Residents, Marilyn Manson, etc.

So there you have it, I have spoken, it is written and I’m sure within a matter of days Lady Gaga’s career will be over. (please don’t wake me from this dream)

*Was that a good joke, I honestly can’t tell anymore.

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94 comments so far

94 comments to “Lady Gaga!”

  1. markon 21 Jun 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Lady gaga is a attention whore. Her songs are insipid and

    She has all the appeal of a blow up doll.

    There are a lot of tasteless morons out there, you can
    tell by the people who defend this useless human being.

    Obviously the only thing she could figure out to do in life
    to make money other than becoming a hooker… was this.

    Prancing around in stupid cloths, singing stupid songs to
    a stupid audience.

    Long live rock ( classic, hard and punk )…. all others suck.

  2. Jonathanon 23 Jun 2010 at 10:41 am

    Mark – you sound like Zebraman from “Heavy Metal Parking Lot”! If you’ve never seen it, you’re missing out! It’s a 16-minute time capsule shot in the parking lot of a Judas Priest concert in 1986.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 23 Jun 2010 at 10:56 am

    ZEBRA MAN RULES! “All that punk shit belongs on the moon.”

    Have you seen the deluxe version where they track him down present day?

  4. Paul in Saint Paulon 24 Jun 2010 at 1:38 pm


    You can fight it or you can ride with it.

    The full video parody by the military in Afghanistan is gold.

  5. hmmmon 26 Jun 2010 at 11:37 pm

    I personally don’t care too much for her antics but she’s just a human. At least she’s TRYING to do something, could be worse. AS FAR AS MADONNA, don’t talk shit about the most amazing female artist OF ALL TIME. She’s a STRONG woman. What are u? Besides u don’t see gaga put anyone down….ya she acts like an idiot but she doesn’t bash ppl….

  6. You Just Made My List!on 27 Jun 2010 at 4:22 am

    hmmm – Look at the way you bash the English language, aren’t you ashamed of yourself? You should be. Learn how to speak and maybe people will take you seriously. You write like a fucking moron.

  7. Amy Louiseon 28 Jun 2010 at 8:30 am

    touché ^_^

  8. edon 02 Jul 2010 at 8:43 am

    The poor guy sitting behind her is thinking, “I paid a thousand bucks for this seat?”

  9. Melisaon 06 Jul 2010 at 7:41 pm

    I strongly disagree..

    everyone is entitled to their opinion so by all means say what you will….

    However, if you’re going to give one, you should be more in-depth on your reasons why so the readers can understand your reasons otherwise you will be viewed as an ignorant critique.
    You’re just spewing out insults without giving any examples or explenations as to why you feel this way.

    Clearly you dont know anything about her, saying to work on your music first? she writes her own music most of the time and has been doing it for some time now… something you clearly didnt know if you had the balls to pour out such an ignorant statement…

    Lady gaga’s bio clearly states her history in music, the music shes wrote over the years for herself and for other music artists…. theres videos and is also stated night after night working her way from mediocre night clubs to the big shows so shes paid her dues… and many recordings have been taken of her singing acoustics so you can hear her actual singing voice…

    My opinion, i find her singing ability very talented in low tones and strong… granted she cant go high pitch well but she is talented enough to sing and she busts her ass off with her dancing and writing her own music…

    her costumes is something to debate but hey clearly something is working, lets let the Money decide whats hot and whats not…

    …and from what it seems, lady gaga is rich as hell….

  10. You Just Made My List!on 06 Jul 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Melisa – Yes, “let’s let money decide what’s hot.” Clearly the best way to judge a person, especially and artist, is by the amount of money they have. I can think of another artist who had a ton of money, Hitler. Hitler must have been red hot!


  11. Neson 07 Jul 2010 at 1:08 am

    I AGREEE!!
    Today i saw Lady Gaga videos for the first time… she just wants to get attention so bad that is willing to do anything, getting naked now is not enough, so for that she needs to lick anything or anyone around. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the music or find anything inspirational… nope! nothing! She sucks!!

  12. Ashion 14 Jul 2010 at 5:23 pm

    This woman is a joke. I have tried ignoring her and successfully have done so by not being around teenyboppers and not having cable tv. However, I got into an enviornment where there were teens,the internet, and cable and I instantly became disgusted once my niece started playing “Poker Face”. That Electro Pop genre is DEAD for a reason, stop trying to bring it back. And I hate the vast majority of Pop music anyway, I will be glad when it dies off completely. Gaga alone can’t keep it alive-take away the autotune and the outfits, and you have yourself another Britney Spears. Back in the day half of these Spears bashers were worshipping this used-to-be lolita slut, now they throw her away because “QUEEN GAGA has arrived!”. Pop fans are fickle little people, not very loyal because almost every popstar out since the 90s has been the same old regurgitated bullshit wrapped in a different gender. All her songs sound the same when you get down to the point. There’s only so much you can do with Electro Pop-no wait, there is only so much SHE can do with it until it all starts sounding like a boring mix that you play at a lame raver club. Thankfully she can’t rape my ears with her awful music.

  13. :Don 27 Aug 2010 at 4:57 pm

    I bow down to you!!!

  14. Fredon 13 Sep 2010 at 12:16 pm

    Great line on Madonna. So, Stephanie is the next self promoting, attention seaking, sub-talent whore? Who’da thunk it?

    Who has less talent, Stephanie or KISS? Oooo too close to call.

    Fanboys like to point to the youtube video of her playing piano and singing at NYU as an expample of her talent. So she can sing and play and guess what, nobody was paying attention to her back then. I can see thinking “What if I did this in a bubble dress…”

    When the music sensations are Justin Beiber and Lady Ga Ga that is pretty much all you need to know about the current music scene.

  15. 5Ron 13 Sep 2010 at 1:04 pm

    She and her music are absolutely vile.

  16. lolaon 15 Sep 2010 at 9:30 am

    Her latest getup!…. Oh wait I forgot to type Lady GaGa Sucks! Her latest Butcher shop Special abomination. Was supposed to be attributed to Gays in the Armed Forces. What was the message exactly?
    Gays should have the right to openly expose their raw meat in the Military? Or was the message suppose to be pro-Slaughter house? Either way it was disgusting and in usual GaGa poor taste.
    How old is she? Twenty Four! Yeah! a real political genius! Hopefully one day her, and her twisted fans will grow up!
    In the meantime can we take her and her rotting “Flesh Dress” roll them in Yesterday’s Newspaper and do with her whaterever it is you do with Yesterday’s Newspaper!

  17. You Just Made My List!on 15 Sep 2010 at 11:31 am

    Lola – She is so unbelievably desperate for attention. It’s truly pathetic.

  18. lolaon 15 Sep 2010 at 1:27 pm

    She has gotten to the point now where she has gone so far over the top she can’t keep up with herself! I mean come on, Raw Meat? What’s next? A suit of Shyt? I would like to think the meat wasn’t real, but with her who knows. I’m not saying no one would listen to her without the costumes, but fans are fickle. I believe the attention meter would go WAY down. I think she knows that. So now she can’t stop. No one will want an Average Lady GaGa. She’s going to burn herself out. She’s full of energy now, but I think she’s really pushing it. I don’t care how much money you have. When your done your done. Wow! I almost sound like I feel sorry for her. I guess in a way I do. Don’t worry though. You haven’t lost me!

  19. Fredon 15 Sep 2010 at 2:01 pm

    What’s enxt Lola? A cameo on the Kardashians of course.

  20. ChuckGlissonon 21 Sep 2010 at 3:54 am


    Enter the QUEEN of GARBAGE; Lady GaGa!

  21. sim1on 11 Oct 2010 at 2:06 am

    Oh man I wish I had been first to call her out on the fortress of solitude bullshit, it’s fucking retarded looking. and she’s not that hot but I’d let her hook me up with a reach around.

  22. pete parkeron 13 Oct 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Damn I hate Lady Gaga. I hope she drowns in her own idiot ego. http://bit.ly/gagahate

  23. Nikkion 28 Oct 2010 at 6:31 pm

    I actually really enjoy her music. But whenever I see her, I just shake my head. Everyone is so into appearance. She’s trying so hard to show how unique and out there she is, when to most people she looks like an idiot. It’s hard for me to enjoy her somewhat good songs (not at all ground-breaking like people suggest) when you’re distracted by the outfit made of bubbles/meat/pointy objects.

  24. Maggieon 02 Nov 2010 at 6:50 pm

    Oh my goodness, thank you! You’ve taken the words out of my mouth. Every time I hear “Poker Face” around the dorms I die a little bit more inside. I just.. I’ve never understood the woodie everyone seems to have for her.

  25. Alex from NJon 22 Nov 2010 at 1:08 am

    Just like the dumb Disney fad music, give it, 3-5 years max and no one will even know who the fuck Lady caca is.

    I’m a classic rock/progressive rock guy. That was a good joke indeed but Lady caca does not even deserve to be in the same sentence with KISS, Elton John, David Bowie, etc

    all music today sucks major balls.

  26. leilaon 04 Dec 2010 at 9:54 pm

    İ still can’t believe that there are so many people out there that think she’s a musical genious. it’s just so sad. She has an average voice dumb/idiotic lyrics (if they an even be called lyrics) and music that sounds like lame jingles. That the music world tıday comprises of Lady CaCa (yes-KAKA) Katy Perry (another famewhore with little talent and shitty style and the same famewhorring ways) and Kesha etc makes me want to scream. İ hope that an era will come when there will be good music again and even though İ’m a rock person (classic, blues,etc) İ do give merit to good lyrics like those of Eminem’s and Tupac Shakur’s and some pop from 70s-90s so it ain’t about me not liking pop and therefore not liking her. The thing is, it’s something anyone could’ve written when they were slurring after a couple of too many booze or at junior high.İ really appreciate this thread. İt makes me feel less alone now that the majority of people call this kind of thing great or even good. C’mon MAdonna (the original famewhore) was much much better (at least there were lyrics and real instruments being played in sone of the songs…)

  27. tofu_womanon 05 Dec 2010 at 12:38 pm

    I also fail to see what is so provocative or talented about her. It has all been done before. I’m not even annoyed, and I know I’m “supposed” to be. I gave up MTV years ago when it became unbearably forced and bland. She embodies those qualities. Dancing in only your underwear and wearing alot of glitter mixed with blood or whatever isn’t shocking anymore.

  28. Marcoon 12 Dec 2010 at 12:21 pm

    it seems like berlusconi’s at the gallups: everybody likes it, then in the street everybody hates it.
    that cacca is mtv brainwasing.
    they wanna airplay trash because good music is dangerous.

  29. Michaelon 17 Dec 2010 at 11:07 am

    she looks and sings like a Frank Gehry building on two legs

  30. Marianaon 01 Jan 2011 at 9:40 am

    i just wanna say is fuck you mother fucker lady gaga or should i say lady caca you suck i hate your music you costumes are like your ugly face you sing horrible i sing much more pretty er than you bitch i swear that youu will fall in the stair like last year she was drunk you will soon die of a gun shot or an heart attact michel jackson is #1 so fuck off

  31. Marianaon 01 Jan 2011 at 9:42 am

    hahahahaha Michel Jackson is superstar and lady caca is a loser

  32. Jennieon 31 Jan 2011 at 11:16 am

    Grace Jones called, she wants her persona back.

  33. CCCCon 26 Feb 2011 at 6:35 pm

    I..can’t stand her. everything about her is forced, almost pre-planned. the way she ‘evolved’ so quickly and calls it the “art of fame” makes me only think shes even worse. She acts like shes showing how “horrible fame is to people” while all the while being addicted to it and loving it, and her ego growing ever bigger. (actually, with all the self proclamations i’ve heard from her, frankly i’ve never seen a bigger ego in my 17 year old life of celebrities)

    and to the comment..somewhere way up there, that I read, that liked her because of her ‘telephone’ video, calling it ‘badass’, i feel like you just took away any chance of me taking anything you say seriously. she played like, 6 genres and tried to act all ‘hardass’ at doing them. The women-in-prison genre, the women-on-the-run genre, the female-serial-killer thing, the implied-lesbianism bit, scantily clad women in general.
    all while wearing crossing tape or smoking glasses and trying to present them in an ‘iconic way’, instead of making a video, we see a montage of lady gaga outfits and accessories that she uses for her own selfish reasons to try and look ‘edgy’ and unique. Because we all know- it doesn’t exist until gaga does it, right? popcan hair rollers? music video wise, I saw Ashanti do it back in ’08 in “good good”, realisticly wise, people have been doing it probably since the 70’s.
    and also realistically wise, lady gaga looked dumb as hell in that video. it didn’t make sense, she just walked around with a stone-cold face like she was a hardass the whole time, it pissed me off just to look at her. i’m sure her fans would try and make sense of the video by saying it’s a ‘commentary on society’ because everyone gaga does is, right? even if at face-value all her shit is about clubbing, sex, and boys, and of course an ‘anthem’ song thrown in for good measure (born this way) which, i think even “fighter” or “cant hold us down” by Xtina are better, or hell, how about “Black or White” by MJ or “Say it loud i’m black and proud” by James Brown? at least theres had better lyrics while also not ripping off Madonna so fucking obviously.
    speaking of which, I have watched gaga rip shit off left and right, the funny thing is that even though she always emulates people, she hates being compared to them. She copies people but she doesn’t like for people to say it to her. Even though shes almost never original, she likes to feel like she is.

    i’ll stop now. I could rant on her all day. I’ve never been so annoyed by a pop-artist. the worst part being she ALSO thinks shes a genius.
    I love the comment you made on how every is concerned with someone being ‘the next madonna’. why do all female pop starts these days have to seem batshit crazy? how many men are like that? Whatever happened to great female singers, who were famous whether or not they were video vixens?

  34. bawlsaxon 02 Mar 2011 at 8:43 pm

    I think it’d be awesome if she killed herself. What a bullshit infestation.

  35. You Just Made My List!on 02 Mar 2011 at 8:52 pm

    Sorry man, I had to censor some of that. For the record, I do not think Lady Gaga or ANYONE else should kill themselves.

  36. gaga is a cunton 17 Apr 2011 at 6:16 pm

    I posted this on a few sites, here goes for your reading pleasure:
    She is not an good artist (or an artist at all), yeah sure, she can play piano, but HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS can play better, and of course playing piano doesn’t classify you as a musician, even a monkey can learn to play averagely like GaGa, but she can’t write music and text even if it depends on her life, it’s just shitty dance music with text about getting high in the disco while possibly having sex, or “bluffin with my muffin”, or “riding on your DISCO STICK”… Here is the basic lady GaGa song:
    *(note 1) 7 times*
    *(note 2) 3 times*
    *(note 3)* *(note 4)
    * (Repeat 6 times)
    *(one weird line)*
    (Repeat 6 times)
    Also, on her MySpace, these are her influences:
    David Bowie
    Freddy Mercury
    Nine Inch Nails
    Led Zeppelin
    Pink Floyd
    The Beatles
    So, as I see it, these are METAL and ROCK groups and artists… Now, I don’t hear ANY fast paced or heavy riffs, epic musicianship or text that makes fucking sense. Also, most of people, if not all, who listen to metal and/or rock, hate her very much, and if you like artist’s influences, you should like that artist… Right? Well, take a wild guess, those who like her “influences” hate her, they don’t even respect her. Now, I listen to almost all of metal (with the exception of -core and nu metal like Nine Inch Nails) and classical music (which, you guessed it, is her “influence”), but I can’t seem to stand repetetive boring electronically fruity-lopps-created beats and her autotuned voice (I work with music programs, so you can’t flame me for talking shit). The fact that she has to dress like an asshole to make her “stand out” from “the rest” make her even more sucky… She prefers style over substance, and yes, her S&M outfits were ripped from glam and gothic metal… She’s completely unoriginal… Look at: Vader, Iron Maiden, Death, Morbid Angel, Sepultura, Mozart, Bach… They don’t/didn’t need computers (it also wasn’t possible for some of the artists at the time periods they lived in) to fix their flaws, because they are/were playing and composing perfectly, and they knew it, leaving their legacy to their faithful fans to be listened until they die… Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” still stands the test of time today, about 40 years later since it was released… Even better, look at Bach’s “Ode to joy”, it’s an official anthem for the European Union, that’s how great it is… Think about it, are you still going to listen to Bad romance (more like Bad shitance) 40 years in the future? I don’t think so.

  37. athevoyageron 25 Apr 2011 at 3:33 am

    She’s a man..

  38. LADY GAGARBAGEon 06 May 2011 at 2:42 am



  39. Insuranceon 28 Jun 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Right on! I am blown away that so many People on the Radio and TV think that she is a Genius. A Genius? Maybe if her job was working in the Circus. Her Music is flat and she is overexposed. Enough already.

  40. Lady Bla Bla Suckson 24 Aug 2011 at 1:29 pm

    I can’t understand how she sells music. Calling her an artist is to put a two year old kid’s crayon scribbling up next to a Van Gogh and attempt to call it the next new trend.

  41. Madelineon 17 Sep 2011 at 10:41 am

    A no talent attention whore with a totally forgettaqble voice. If not for the wierd costumes and the stage histrionics, she would be playing a tambourine for a garage group. Someboby please tell her that her 15 minutes are over. PS-same goes for Tony Benett. Just witness their butcher job on the Lady ad the Tramp song.

  42. dawn eisneron 08 Oct 2011 at 10:55 am

    simply put… She’s symbolism over substance !

  43. Stevenon 24 Jan 2012 at 4:33 am

    I admit, she’s an alright singer and ok pianist or whatever. But so what? If you’re comparing her by merely her skills at singing, thousands of people in choir can destroy her but you’re not giving them millions of dollars. Myriads of piano players won’t hesitate to ignore her mediocre playing at piano. People act as if she’s Debussy in her defense, (and people defending her, look Debussy up and listen to real piano playing).
    Besides her mediocre skills at those things, her creativity is simply dull. Nothing but extravagant costumes and terrible pop melodies made by her producers — not her!

    Can’t you Gaga fans see that all she is is a corporate result constructed by the corrupt music industry to sell it to people who can’t think for themselves! She is basically a robot made for profits, for boneheads who intake whatever the media feeds them. Any true songwriters who appreciate REAL music see that Gaga is the furthest thing from innovative. She is the food the corporations feed to brainless cattle — *cough* I mean people…

    She is the definition of what Tolstoy referred to as “counterfeit art”!

  44. It'sBarbie'sBarbBitchon 28 Apr 2013 at 9:18 pm

    I cant stand Lady Gaga. I admitt that she can weite decent shit but her vocals suck and she is ugly as hell. Also her fans are annoying too! Not all but the majority of the lil monsters are phyco. I had five of them stalking me last week. I finnaly blocked them on twitter.