Jun 18 2010

Parents who leash their kids!

Published by at 3:48 am under I Don't Get It,Why?!?

children on leash

Want to go for a walk? Who wants to go for a walk? Who’s a good boy? Go get your leash. Go get your leash! Get your leash boy, it’s time for school.

The kind of parents who walk their kids around like dogs will tell you they do it to keep their children safe but the truth is that they are lazy. They are not prepared for the responsibility of keeping a watchful eye on their child so they opt for walking them around like Marmaduke. Why bother with diapers, just open up the patio door and send Timmy out to make in the back yard.

I miss the old kind of lazy parenting, the kind where mommy would tell you to go ride your bike for 10 hours so she could sunbathe in the back yard with a cigarette and a gin & tonic. The kind that encouraged a steady diet of bologna and soda and never had the time for a car seat. I miss my childhood.

The new wave of lazy parents are no fun.

And the Mother of the Year award goes to…

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39 comments so far

39 comments to “Parents who leash their kids!”

  1. Yours Trulyon 18 Jun 2010 at 6:56 am

    Besides, if those lazy parents had bothered to read any Marmaduke, they would know that leashes won’t stop that Great Dane from getting into all sorts of mischief.

    God damn, why the FUCK did Hollywood have to break into Marmaduke’s room and rape him repeatedly with that retarded new movie? Fuck you, Hollywood. If there was any justice in the world, Hollywood would be in prison right now, getting raped in the showers. How do YOU like it, Hollywood?

    Want a good subject for a movie that lazy parents can drag (literally) their kids to? How about turning the 17 second video above into a full-length film? Considering the shit that’s being released today, it might be a step up.

    In conclusion, this post was excellent, the new Marmaduke and A-team movies are dog shit, and Hollywood can kiss my ass.

    Thank you and good night.

  2. Jeffon 18 Jun 2010 at 7:54 am

    Anyone who has had a 2 year old will sympathize with the parent in that video.

    Everyone has a breaking point…

  3. Saraon 18 Jun 2010 at 7:57 am

    That kid at the table should at least have a bowl of water.

    There are times as a parent you kinda wish they were socialy acceptable but then you remember THEY ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE and thats why you questioned it.

    Someone told me the woman in that video said “the kid thinks thats fun”, I see a future fucked up masochist paying hookers to dress up like mommy and drag him around. Look what you did to your child! He’s practicaly forced into being a US Senator

  4. rachelon 18 Jun 2010 at 8:20 am

    the only time i bought and used (the monkey backpack kind) was when we went to the Grand Canyon with my 18 month old. toddlers are fast and scrappy.

  5. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 8:20 am

    Jeff – Don’t get me wrong, I understand that kids can be horrible and often deserve a good dragging or to be tied to a tree BUT that sort of thing needs to remain a fantasy. It’s part of being a parent but leashes shouldn’t be.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 8:22 am

    Rachel – OK, that sounds reasonable. I’ve seen the Grand Canyon episode of The Brady Bunch so I know how dangerous it can be.

  7. rachelon 18 Jun 2010 at 8:34 am

    i wish i had the Brady’s station wagon.

  8. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 8:46 am

    Rachel – Here you go. As an added bonus, actor Barry Williams (Greg for you youngsters) admitted to being stoned during this scene.


  9. Paul in Saint Paulon 18 Jun 2010 at 9:24 am

    Greg really looks high. That silly grin was for real, as was his hilariously delayed reaction to Cindy’s entrance. He doesn’t even seem to know where the voice is coming from.

    I too miss the days, especially in summer, when the structure consisted of “going outside” in the morning and then coming home for dinner.

    Yes, there were matches, bike stunts, slipshod treehouses, sometimes all combined, but I think my mom and I enjoyed the day much better that way.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 9:41 am

    Paul – His double take when Cindy enters is hilarious. “Hey man, is that boat talking?” Far out indeed.

  11. SanFranon 18 Jun 2010 at 10:31 am

    Leashed kids… uggh – one of these days I’m going to walk up to a mom (they are less likely to fight back) who’s kid on on a lead, and put a collar around her neck and see how she likes it.

    That’s a sweet Brady Bunch clip – Barry Williams spoke at our college back in ’93 or ’94, and walked off stage when one of the Rugby Assholes asked him if he ever sucked Mr. Brady’s cock. Totally uncalled for – I’d have walked off stage, too.

    My childhood was spent entirely outside. My parents would be shocked if I came in:

    Mom: “What are you doing inside?”
    Me: “I have to poop!”
    Mom: “Can’t you do that outside? You’re tracking dirt all through the house”

  12. Rebeccaon 18 Jun 2010 at 10:36 am

    I like how Greg trips over the bicycle pump in the beginning of the scene.

    But the important thing is, WHY DOES BOBBY’S WHOLE CLASS HATE HIM?!?!

    Damn it, I don’t remember this episode. Can someone refresh my memory?

    PS. Kid on leash = no.

  13. T.J.on 18 Jun 2010 at 10:51 am

    What you had to say made me laugh. I totally agree with you, kids should not be on leashes, they are not animals, they are people who need extra attention. I was never on a leash as a toddler back in the 1980s, a time where a tyke like me could walk down the street alone without consequence. I understand that sometimes kids are brats, but if parents controlled them the right way, they wouldn’t be brats.

    That kid being dragged in the store by the mom is an outrage,by the way.

  14. rachelon 18 Jun 2010 at 10:57 am

    isn’t Bobby the hall monitor? i’d hate him, too. him and his stupid orange vest.

    thanks, Listy. you’re *far out*.

  15. rachelon 18 Jun 2010 at 11:03 am


    “not bathtub worthy”. hahahah. Carol Brady, you’re a card.

  16. Rebeccaon 18 Jun 2010 at 11:14 am

    Thanks for clearing this up, Rachel! Now I can go about my day in peace.

  17. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 12:39 pm

    I like that the sun over the Brady house manages to cast 4 shadows somehow. That exterior set is SO REAL!

  18. Ericaon 18 Jun 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Listy – jesus christ, where did you find that clip of the mother dragging her kind on that rope? And I love that there are other people standing around ignoring her! I would have been in her face, possibly calling 911.

    I agree though, it is completely fucked up lazy ass parenting. My sister and I used to ride a city bus to school starting in Kindergarten (I grew up in the Bay Area) and we came home to an empty house, unlocked liquor cabinet and all sundry of sharp objects laying around. My dad would have poker matches with his friends smoking cigars and drinking highballs while sissy and I sat around getting a contact high!

    Oh the glory days, how I miss them…

  19. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 4:57 pm

    Erica – The mommy in question was arrested. I like the part where his head slams into the wall.

    Yes, the gold old days for sure. Kids today are PUSSIES!

  20. Ericaon 18 Jun 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Lord thank god! She needs to be locked away and sterilized. Why isn’t there mandatory sterilization for bitches like this?

    Oh and not to nit-pick but it is pussy’s…pussies would connote that they are full of pus! (hey maybe some kids are…:)) I still love ya Listy.

  21. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 5:41 pm

    Erica – I believe pussy’s would denote a pussy possessing something whereas pussies is the plural of pussy. Any teachers out there want to clear this important question up for us?

  22. UltimateChaseon 18 Jun 2010 at 5:46 pm

    My mom put me on a leash every now and then when I was a little kid. It went on my wrist. In all other respects she was a very good mother, so I assume she had a good reason for it.

    I’m a stepdad to a five year old now and I live in a large apartment complex. (Around 300-400 units.) When I was a kid, I rode my bike everywhere and I played in the forest all the time. My parents never really knew where I was, I just had to be home before it started to get dark. I don’t think it was lazy of them, we just lived in the suburbs in a small city. The parents in our apartments now baffle me. Kids are just constantly wandering the busy parking lot here. I’m talking toddlers and five year olds. We have acres of grass, two playgrounds and a basketball court here. But no, the kids are always out in the parking lot, completely unsupervised. I’ve never seen a parent out there watching their kids. This is Reno. I’m pretty sure Reno invented alcoholism and the child predator. It makes my blood boil. I would never put Spartacus on a leash, but that’s because I don’t have to. I watch him and I’m faster than him. He’s not going anywhere.

    I guess my comment was pretty windy and sort of all over the place. I guess what I’m saying is AHHH I hate parents that aren’t me and you’re right about everything AHHH!

  23. Kathyon 18 Jun 2010 at 6:18 pm

    **raises hand**
    I did this with my 2 year-old when it was just him, me, and a mountain of luggage in the Amsterdam (pretty-white-baby-kidnapping-capital-of-the-world) airport. I’d do it again under the same circumstances.

    I was in love with Greg Brady when I was 12. He was hot.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Kathy – You are forgiven (sort of). Just don’t go to kidnappy places anymore!

  25. rachelon 18 Jun 2010 at 6:32 pm

    new word: kidnappy.

  26. Paul in Saint Paulon 18 Jun 2010 at 7:16 pm

    Listman and Erica. This is the teacher heeding the call with a clarification on PUSSY and its various grammatical forms.

    PUSSIES: This can only be the plural noun form. Example: “Those guys on tall bikes are a bunch of pussies.” (more than one pussy)

    PUSSY’S: Two possibilities:

    Possessive Singular (AKA Genitive Singular): “Let’s steal that pussy’s tall bike.” (The bike belongs to the pussy: just one pussy.)

    Contraction (Noun with IS/HAS): “That pussy’s whining about his stolen tall bike.” “That pussy’s been crying over his tall bike all fucking day.” PUSSY IS WHINING/PUSSY HAS BEEN CRYING. The apostrophe here takes the place of the I in IS and the HA in HAS.

    The hardest one is PUSSIES’. That’s the plural possessive: “Those pussies’ tall bikes are for shit.” There is more than one pussy who owns a tall bike.

    NOTE: I am only using tall bikes to make up for the Lady Gaga fracas. I don’t really mind the tall bikes either, but I’m not going to defend them. Also, I chose the derogatory term for a male instead of the vulgar term for a vagina because the vagina examples that came to mind are too filthy for even this blog, though certainly not for its creator.

    A final note, PUS cannot be counted and has no plural form. You can say, “There’s a shitload of pus under that scab on my balls.” However, you cannot say, “I’ve had three pus[ses] (sic) oozing out of my itchy red balls after I fucked that skank.” Pus is about amount, rather than number.

    Hope this makes sense. Always ready to help!

  27. Ericaon 18 Jun 2010 at 7:37 pm

    OK, ok…the word just looked weird to me! I have never seen “pussies” used in plural form before. Being a woman I don’t refer to pussies that often but I should know that Listy being a man knows his pussies when he sees his pussies!! (what is the tally for the most times pussy has been used in a sentence? Any guesses?)

    Paul – do you really have to be a teacher? Argh! Now I have to spell check, grammar check, etc…:)

  28. Ericaon 18 Jun 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Oh and Paul – are you talking about the word cunt? I don’t consider that a pejorative term as every time I go to a “football” (soccer) match, that word is used like “dude” or “bud”. “What’s up cunts?”

    Let’s bring it back!

  29. Paul in Saint Paulon 18 Jun 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Erica, I have to be a teacher, but only for money. I completely ignore mistakes unless I’m being paid to find or fix them. Or, on that rare occasion, when someone like the Listman needs a clarification.

    I have NEVER heard the word “cunt” used as anything other than a highly offensive insult or as part of a graphic sex story. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it in public discourse, even if it would replace “bro.” Well, maybe then…

  30. Ericaon 18 Jun 2010 at 10:12 pm

    Paul…time to take a trip to the United Kingdom! Seriously, they toss that word around everywhere. Why did we decide it was so filthy? We were colonized by those cunts! What is so awful about it? I think pussy sounds worse, imho.

  31. You Just Made My List!on 18 Jun 2010 at 11:06 pm

    I’m all pussied out! Thanks Paul, you are truly and expert when it comes to pussy.

  32. 8bitheroon 19 Jun 2010 at 7:59 am

    I live in DC and have a 6 and 4 year old. We will go out to the Smithsonian, along the Mall, about Chinatown, and everywhere else. They aren’t leashed. It’s not necessary.

    We do love tourist season, though.

    All those fat, fanny-packed, DC t-shit wearing mothers from Wisconsin leashing their kids while they stroll around the District is very amusing.

    They finally get out of Sheboygan to “The Big City” and the are in constant fear of kidnapped children.

    They see my kids walking half a block ahead of my wife and me and are shocked we would do that.

    My kids see their kids leashed and are appalled they would do that.

    It’s the height of tourist season and I love it!

  33. kiddaon 19 Jun 2010 at 2:51 pm

    We didn’t used to think cunt was offensive, we had street names with it


  34. Paul in Saint Paulon 20 Jun 2010 at 9:58 am

    Why can’t I live on Gropecunt Lane?

    I never knew that the Brits were so cunt-friendly!

  35. Ericaon 20 Jun 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Paul – one can wish! Just to have my mother-in-law have to say Gropecunt lane would be so awesome! I have tried to get my husband to legally change his name to Mike Hunt…he isn’t down with it.

  36. kiddaon 20 Jun 2010 at 5:13 pm

    I found out last night that we had a Gropecunt lane where I now live in Banbury, it was renamed to Parsons street.

    If the road names were named after what occured there, you have to wonder who was frequenting that lane

  37. Ericaon 20 Jun 2010 at 8:29 pm

    kidda – wow, your town sounds awesome! Are there just prozzies everywhere? Lots of massage parlors?? 🙂 We must come visit Banbury with the kids next time we are in the UK.

  38. SanFranon 20 Jun 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Paul, you’re a pussies!

    That was the most comprehensive overview I’ve encountered on the topic of pussy to date.

    Not that I needed clarification, mind you – but it was entertaining as fuck!

  39. utter_scoundrelon 22 Jun 2010 at 9:15 am

    All this talk of pussy preceded by a clip featuring Florence Henderson. I’ll be in my bunk…