Jun 30 2010

Bros Icing Bros!

Published by at 3:13 am under Why?!?

bros icing bros Smirnoff ice

When I first heard the term “Bros Icing Bros” I thought frat boys were finally giving in to their homosexual fantasies and jerking off all over each other. “Dude, I totally just Iced all over McGillicutty’s face while he was playing Guitar Hero, it was classic bro.”

I have to admit, when I discovered Bros Icing Bros was less about random jizz attacks and more about forced drinking I was still intrigued. In case you have an actual life outside of the internet I will explain the rules of Icing your bros. If your bro manages to put a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in your line of vision you must immediately drop to one knee and chug the entire bottle, no matter where you are or what time of day it is. If you refuse you are to be excommunicated and shunned forever and may never be considered a bro again. HOWEVER, if you present your bro with an Ice they can “Ice block” you by presenting their own bottle of Ice, at which point the original Icer must drop to a knee and drink BOTH Smirnoff Ices.

As a concept I like this little game. Nothing is more satisfying than making your friends miserable. So on the surface, bros icing bros has some merit. HOWEVER, like most things dude-types participate in, the concept is lost in poor execution. Rather than coming up with a creative way to make their friends happen upon an Ice, most of these bros simply excitedly run up to their friends and hand them a Smirnoff Ice with all the coolness of a little giggly girl freaking out at a Twilight premiere.

Come on BROS, butch it up a little! These real versions of Bros Icing Bros might actually be more gay than my original understanding of the game.

Calm down ladies, don’t get your flip-flops all tangled in a bunch.

“Get on your knees bro (giggle giggle)”

Hipsters Icing Hipsters – “I’m going to Ice Baker, I’m going to Ice the fuck out of Baker with a pineapple.” Um, look out Baker, I think you are about to be raped.

You just got Iced. Now, drink it naked while we all watch.

Be Sociable, Share!

38 comments so far

38 comments to “Bros Icing Bros!”

  1. CreatureofHabiton 30 Jun 2010 at 6:40 am

    To me, this is a sure sign of the apocolypse. Perhaps Shamalamadingdong should work this into his next movie?

  2. Benon 30 Jun 2010 at 7:09 am

    I agree, there’s nothing cool about running up to someone with a bottle and shoving it in their face and start laughing. Personally, I think you shouldn’t be holding the bottle yourself, it should be place somewhere unexpected where it will suddenly appear in the said bro’s line of vision. If you must be holding it then you should pop it out when the bro is expecting you to give him something he requested like a lighter or something!

    That’s it, I’m going to the liquor store to buy some Ice and hide them around the office.

  3. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 8:13 am

    Creature – Exactly.

    Ben – Exactly.

  4. Jonathanon 30 Jun 2010 at 8:32 am

    Seriously – it needs to be more subtle and sneaky, like the old “you looked at my OK sign below the waist and now I will punch you” game. There’s no skill or comedy in shoving it in someone’s face. That’s what she said.

  5. Amy Louiseon 30 Jun 2010 at 8:54 am

    What self respecting ‘man’ drinks Smirnoff ice anyway? Or is that the point?

  6. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 8:58 am

    Amy – I think that’s the point. The Ice is a challenge, a glove across the face, if you will. Many people think the whole practice of Bros Icing Bros actually started as a viral campaign at Smirnoff. If so, they probably didn’t take into account all of the youtube clips of people saying “Ew, this tastes like shit.”

  7. Paul in Saint Paulon 30 Jun 2010 at 9:19 am

    I don’t really understand what Smirnoff Ice actually is. Chugging an entire bottle of old-school Smirnoff seems an unreasonable challenge even for a hardened Russian alcoholic. What is in this Ice you speak of? How many Ices would it take to get drunk compared to all the Bud Lite Vortexes in Listman’s fridge. (They’re part of an ongoing scientific experiment, he promises.)

  8. noodleson 30 Jun 2010 at 9:28 am

    Oh no.

  9. Benon 30 Jun 2010 at 9:35 am

    @Paul
    It’s basically an alcoholised lemonade, although I think they have a bunch of other flavours now.

  10. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 9:39 am

    Paul & Ben – It should also be pointed out that it looks remarkably like a bottle of semen. Carry on.

  11. kenon 30 Jun 2010 at 10:01 am

    It’s natural selection. Maybe after too many icings, some bros will die of alcohol poisoning, thin the herd a bit. For the same reason, I don’t really mind when gang members have good aim and kill each other.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 10:03 am

    Bloods Icing Crips?

  13. kenon 30 Jun 2010 at 10:06 am

    The world’s a better place with a few less douchebags in it.

  14. Jim Joneson 30 Jun 2010 at 10:07 am

    This would be less gay if they were actually jizzing all over each other. Only pussies drink Smirnoff Ice.

  15. Benon 30 Jun 2010 at 10:19 am

    Bottle of semen eh… Coincidentally, that would bring us right back to our first impression of what Bros Icing Bros means.

  16. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 10:36 am

    The circle of life.

  17. SanFranon 30 Jun 2010 at 10:49 am

    is this the modern-day equivalent of what we had in college… ZIMA?

    I never had more than a single sip of that shit – being a beer “bro” and all.

    Either way, what a bunch of retards, bro.

  18. Paul in Saint Paulon 30 Jun 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Okay, I vaguely remember Zima. I also drank beer almost exclusively. Any Huber fans out there. With bottle return and a sale, you could get two cases for under ten bucks.

    Have there been any videos where someone gets Iced and they simply smash the Ice bottle on the ground and say “Fuck off!” That would be nice to see.

  19. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Here you go Paul, this should address several points all at the same time for you.

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz80fiKz6Pg

  20. Paul in Saint Paulon 30 Jun 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Thank you. This clarifies everything.

  21. Jeromeon 30 Jun 2010 at 2:02 pm

    Aliens are watching these videos and halfheartedly planning their invasion.

  22. Krison 30 Jun 2010 at 2:56 pm

    My fiance Jen and I wanted to Ice our Best Man, Drew. The only thing is we live near Tampa, and he lives near Atlanta.

    So….we stuck an Ice in the trunk, and drove 489 Miles.

    Temperatures reached 100 degrees.

    This is The 489 Mile Icing.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Dmik9p1nI&hd=1

  23. Paul in Saint Paulon 30 Jun 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Kris, good luck on your marriage, but please wait at least ten years before even thinking of having children. Your video offers up powerful evidence for forced sterilization.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Kris – I approve of this Icing. See, all I ask for is a little effort when Icing your bros.

  25. CreatureofHabiton 30 Jun 2010 at 3:42 pm

    I’ve decided I’m mad at you Listy for even bringing this into my brain cells. I hate that I know this exists. This and Kris’ nuptials.

  26. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 3:45 pm

    Creature – Just beware next time I see you in person, you may want to keep a Smirnoff Ice on hand, just in case.

  27. Ericaon 30 Jun 2010 at 6:34 pm

    This is men at their most retarded…women would NEVER do this gay shit. At best, we would throw a fucking wine cooler at a bitch giving us the stink eye.

  28. Ericaon 30 Jun 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Kris – I just watched the first 5 seconds of your video…the font made me angry so that was as far as I got. But christ, yes, as Paul stated PLEASE do not procreate!!! The thought of a toddler icing his little toddler bro is almost too mush to bear. Does your wife also think Jeff Dunham is funny??

  29. You Just Made My List!on 30 Jun 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Jeeze Kris, you are really taking a beating! Not totally sure why though, it’s out of my control.

  30. Krison 01 Jul 2010 at 9:00 am

    I appreciate the ass kicking….considering whatever I did to you that required you to attack me personally I say, thank you. Thanks for making my day that much more enjoyable.

    Can you do me a favour? Go and be an asshole elsewhere.

    Thanks Paul, you remind me of why no one should ever go to Saint Paul.

    And to Creature, I’ll leave you alone since you already embarrass yourself by sewing.

    and Erica….ah Erica….if I was you, I’d commit suicide immediately. We don’t need any more arrogant rude bitches on this planet.

    Have a nice day.

  31. calebon 01 Jul 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Erica – apparently some women ARE that retarded: http://www.newser.com/story/93717/after-bros-icing-bros-girls-busching-girls.html

  32. Paul in Saint Paulon 01 Jul 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Kris, you’ve inspired me to watch the entire video in full. I didn’t even realize there were PAYBACK ICINGS! DUUUUDE! In all honesty, Kris, this site is devoted to hating things. And you really set yourself up by posting a video (complete with endless road trip footage, a horrendous Iglesias soundtrack, and the rage-inspiring font) of Icing, when the point of the post was how inane the game is, and then you made the act exponentially more idiotic by wasting 500 miles of gas to carry it out. Listy went soft, so the hardcore bitches had to pick up the slack. Trust me, my initial post was Minnesota Nice. And Listman, have you misplaced your balls? Didn’t you note that best man Drew is wearing one of those necklaces that you hate? Were you overcome by the frattish romanticism? Snap the fuck out of it.

  33. UltimateChaseon 01 Jul 2010 at 2:56 pm

    Bros icing bros is supposedly over.

    http://brosicingbros.com/

    Hopefully that means it is actually over. When I first heard of this, I thought they were making each other chug like Icehouse or something (a nasty beer which usually comes in a tallcan.) The idea that you get your friends to drink a huge, cheap beer at an inopportune time, like right before work or at a funeral, sounded kind of awesome to me. But there is nothing awesome about running around with a Smirnoff Ice in your back pocket. It’s such a nasty and feminine drink. Blech.

  34. You Just Made My List!on 01 Jul 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Caleb – What’s next, Old people Depends-ing Old people?

    Paul – I guess I didn’t really study the video as closely as everyone else. Also, please keep in mind that, on paper, I like the concept of forcing people to drink a disgusting Smirnoff Ice and I have less of a violent reaction to it than the rest of you guys.

    Have I created rage-filled monsters? I hope so.

  35. calebon 01 Jul 2010 at 4:36 pm

    maybe Summer’s Eve will start sponsoring a “douches douching douches” viral campaign…

  36. You Just Made My List!on 01 Jul 2010 at 4:45 pm

    ZING!

  37. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kyle Broadway. Kyle Broadway said: Old news bud. RT @RodDurham: Bros icing bros. Almost as good as ehaws…thanks @savvypants http://bit.ly/drzVhP […]

  38. Stephon 30 Aug 2010 at 12:27 am

    Once again, Paul. I love you.