Aug 03 2010

Contact juggling and Fushigi balls!

Published by at 3:30 am under I Don't Get It

how does fushigi ball work

If you have a ponytail and a strong opinion about graphic novels, I’m guessing you are currently home alone fondling your Fushigi Balls. There is also a 37% chance a cassette tape of the Dr. Demento show is currently playing in the background and your penis has not known the pleasure of a vagina.

If you are like me, you are incredibly good-looking and wondering, “What is ‘contact juggling’ and this so-called ‘Fushigi Ball?'” The answer is simple… who cares, let’s go listen to Shout at the Devil and drink beer!

Fine. Contact juggling is juggling but without all the juggling. You happy?

But what is a Fushigi Ball? Is it magic, does it defy gravity? The answer is yes, if you are easily confused by mirrors! For the rest of us, Fushigi Ball is simply a fucking clear ball with a fucking chrome ball inside. When combined with contact juggling, Fushigi Ball can create the illusion of a ball that… um… a ball that appears to… well… fuck, I don’t know, it looks like a ball!

Hey mom. Fushigi, I like don’t know what it is but it’s the coolest thing ever and I can do it. Also I’m pregnant again.

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29 comments so far

29 comments to “Contact juggling and Fushigi balls!”

  1. Jeffon 03 Aug 2010 at 4:31 am

    You are so on the Fushigi payroll

  2. Amy Louiseon 03 Aug 2010 at 5:58 am

    Just when you thought nerds couldn’t get any nerdier and hippies couldn’t get anymore self righteous- they go and marry the two- yuk! It’s like that ridiculous rhythm stick craze.

    QUICK! Someone bring me a bucket!

  3. Fartfaceon 03 Aug 2010 at 7:05 am

    I was ready to wholeheartedly agree with every word you just finger uttered here-and realized you have one major flaw: that the Goblin King himself showed us all exactly how grand HIS balls are by juggling these Fushigi (or Fushigi-like) balls. Without Fushigi, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine Bowie’s nimble, silky white hands caress my future heaving breasts. Without dreams how do you go on? That’s right. I may be dead right now if it weren’t for Fushigi. I would have easily committed suicide at the tender age of 6 if I did not know my breasts could be taken care of in such a way. Because of Fushigi, I knew that a man could satisfy me.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_IcWf8EVjU

  4. saraon 03 Aug 2010 at 7:17 am

    The Enigma! The Levitation! The Fucking just holding it upside down!

    you ever notice they’re always selling this stuff to people on the beach. When your brains all fried from staring at the sun all day. There are whole stores devoted to taking advantage of fried brains and 12 year olds with $20 for the arcade filled with shit like this.

  5. Xinaon 03 Aug 2010 at 9:22 am

    I gotta get on the Bowie train here. I fell in love with the Goblin King as a child and actually fell in love BECAUSE of him oddly enough. But his balls were so much cooler than these lame ass Fushigishitty balls. Whatever they’re called. At least what the Goblin King was doing took great skill for the guy behind him that was actually doing it.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 03 Aug 2010 at 9:26 am

    Sadly, all you young horny teenage girls (let me soak that in for a second) were falling in love with another man’s balls and didn’t even know it.

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U8fTAHxjdo

  7. You Just Made My List!on 03 Aug 2010 at 9:27 am

    Sara – I know, wasn’t that amazing when they held the ball upside down? I was like “Wait, how dat ball floating in air?”

  8. Jonathanon 03 Aug 2010 at 9:31 am

    Am I missing something? IT’S A FUCKING BALL. It doesn’t do anything that EVERY OTHER BALL on the planet does. Recession my ass: shit like this proves that we have plenty of money to waste here in America.

  9. You Just Made My List!on 03 Aug 2010 at 9:36 am

    Jonathan – WHAT? Are you crazy? It’s more than a ball. It’s a shiny ball. I sure wish I could figure out how it floats like that.

  10. keziaon 03 Aug 2010 at 9:41 am

    Hi there,

    I’ve been a fan for a long time now since you are the mouth peace for the quiet citizen. I am sure you have been approached before about a book deal and I am sure that blogger-turned-author would make your list, but I just have to ask – have you any interest in turning your observations and ruminations into a book? If so, I would love to chat. You can contact me at my yahoo account.

    All best,

    Kezia

  11. You Just Made My List!on 03 Aug 2010 at 9:48 am

    Kezia – Had I known a literary agent was reading I would have tried harder. Damn it!

    Me getting a book deal would make my awesome list. Let’s talk and make me famous ASAP!

    I’ll email you.

  12. Moon 03 Aug 2010 at 9:59 am

    I was just going to say it looks like the ball from Labyrinth! Those guys would be much cooler if they wore a cod piece while using them. I’m just saying… Maybe jazz it up like Bowie did… Add a pelvic thrust.

  13. Ericaon 03 Aug 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Ugh, Listy…anyone who misuses and misspells the word “piece” is NOT a literary agent. If she is, then she is the worlds dumbest. Think you are getting played here…

    Kezia – it would be “mouth piece” as in a “piece of paper”…not peace as in “world peace”…DUH!

  14. You Just Made My List!on 03 Aug 2010 at 3:45 pm

    Erica – HEY! Quit cock-blocking my book deal!

  15. J-Dubon 03 Aug 2010 at 9:37 pm

    “If you are like me, you are incredibly good-looking…”
    HA!
    Listy, I love you.

  16. Amanda Cateon 04 Aug 2010 at 1:51 am

    How the hell am I going to comment on a book?

    I keep the weirdest schedule and those fucking Fushigi commercials are always on between 12-6am. Basically commercials at night go back and forth between Sarah McLachlan’s ASPCA commercial (which I know you also have an issue with) and Fushigi commercials. It’s maddening.

    Oh but that interview with Jim Henson rules.

  17. Ashleonon 09 Aug 2010 at 1:21 am

    its called contact juggling and it takes crazy amounts of skills to do it properly. so no its not a stupid fucking shiny ball its a special ball contact jugglers like myself use Fushigi just put a brand name on the ball. most Contact jugglers use regular acrylic balls they are weighted which helps with rolling the ball on your arms hands or chest. however a Fushigi is cheaper and has a crome center which solves the fire starting abilities (when sitting in direct sunlight) of regular acrylic balls. the commercial is a bit misleading and i would understand you bashing it for that but to bash the art of contact juggling is just rude. many people spends years mastering this art. the ball does not defy gravity it is an illusion made by the juggler, you do not have to be stupid or easily confused to fall for the illusion you just need a good juggler and an open mind. its a shame that people who devote years to this art struggle to get paid for it while you sit here and probably get paid to bash all the hard work these people put into it. if you don’t like the product then bash the product but not the art behind it. your a horrid creature that can’t appreciate the hard work of others

  18. You Just Made My List!on 09 Aug 2010 at 8:19 am

    Ashleon – Don’t get your ponytail all up in a bunch!

    But what if I WANT to bash Fushigi Ball AND “the art of contact jugging,” shouldn’t I be allowed to? They are both so lame, it’s not fair to make me choose just one to complain about.

    It’s funny that you find it “rude” for me to point out the obvious lameness of this shit and yet it’s NOT rude for YOU to call me a “horrid creature.” That would really hurt my mom’s feelings! Although, you are right, I will never appreciate the hard work people put into annoying crap like this.

    Now leave me alone and go play with your balls.

    P.S. It’s “you’re” not “your”

  19. eddkatzon 23 Aug 2010 at 9:32 pm

    Wait,

    All I had to do was come this site and I’d find out the secret?

    I am a fucking dork.

    ———

    MY old girlfriend (RIP) could do ten times the tricks with her Ben Wa Balls.

    Really.

  20. vespoon 06 Sep 2010 at 11:22 am

    Jesus, are people really that stupid???? Is a fucking ball with a fucking mirror inside of it!!! Who would pay $20 to look like an idiot??

  21. GoldFalconon 22 Sep 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Thank you for validating my incredulous cries of “But it’s just a fucking ball!” every time that lame-ass commercial comes on.

  22. Jessica upchurchon 23 Sep 2010 at 9:04 am

    To:Ashleonon 09 Aug 2010 at 1:21 am

    “its called contact juggling and it takes crazy amounts of skills to do it properly. so no its not a stupid fucking shiny ball its a special ball contact jugglers like myself use Fushigi just put a brand name on the ball. most Contact jugglers use regular acrylic balls they are weighted which helps with rolling the ball on your arms hands or chest”

    i for one think the Fushigi ball commercial is over rated ans misleading, but kudos to Asleonon for the great clearifing post. i was amazed at the how the goblin king (david Bowie) did the whole crystal ball scene in labyrinth. how was i to know it was some one else standing behind him. at any rate it takes skill and practice and an acrylic ball in the hands of a skilled contact juggler is nothing short of watching magic.

    I just ordered my first ball and (no it isnt a fushigi) and cant wait to start learning to contact juggle.

  23. Fuckyouon 30 Sep 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Fuck you people who reduce this mind blowing art form to that douche david bowie or some carnie/hippie stereotype. I’ve been doing this for my own personal reflection for years, and just because someone cant appreciate the subtle art of giving an inanimate object a life of its own doesn’t mean its stupid or redundant. go fuck yourself you narrow-minded douche and likewise to the anal probes who give it a bad rep with fucking wizard hats and the like.

    touch my balls.

  24. You Just Made My List!on 30 Sep 2010 at 6:06 pm

    Fuck – It sounds like all that personal reflection has really centered your spirit and calmed you down.

  25. Fuckyouon 03 Oct 2010 at 8:00 pm

    meh……I just don’t like the way its stereotyped. now something which was once cool has been adopted by people who jerk off over their wow characters and listen to children of bodom. I mean shit aren’t there enough obvious puns to give contact juggling a bad rep…..”go play with your balls….ooh my balls are so shiny.”

    doesn’t matter though, and no offense to you but you’re probably just another turd bag yank who’s been sucked into the online, instant gratification culture of our day and thinks his opinion is worthy of public address. but i think you’ll find the majority of your readership are a bunch of empty-headed mainstream tools who think anything which diverges from the generic path is stupid and deserving of their scrutiny but they cant cos their mouths are either full of dick or kanye west lyrics.

    But go on…i’m sure you have a lot to say.

  26. You Just Made My List!on 03 Oct 2010 at 11:16 pm

    Fuckyou – For someone who doesn’t care about my lame opinion you sure do like to keep checking in and talking about it. I suggest forgetting about your obsession with me and spend some time practicing juggling with one ball.

  27. Fuckyouon 04 Oct 2010 at 3:50 am

    think i will….cheers.xxx

  28. fushigi pony tailon 31 Dec 2010 at 4:02 pm

    haha! i just saw the commercial for the first time and immediately google’d “fushigi pony tail” to see if somebody had ripped on this dude yet.

    congrats for getting there first!

  29. You Just Made My List!on 31 Dec 2010 at 4:06 pm

    I’m glad I could be there for you.