Aug 13 2010

Cathy is ending! AAAAAACK!

Published by at 3:33 am under Why?!?

cathy comic strip ending

I’m sorry but this is bullshit! First, the love of my life goes and marries that stupid Irving (I’m twice the man) and now she has the balls to call it quits and leave us in the dark with only our feeble imaginations to guide us through Cathy’s future! ARE YOU AACKING KIDDING ME?

Now you listen to me Cathy and you listen good, I don’t want to live in a world without you and your mundane problems, and I sure as HELL don’t want to lie awake at night wondering how your job at Product Testing, Inc. is going or if you were able to find a bathing suit that actually fits for once!

I was fully prepared to watch you grow old and die but you just had to fucking ruin everything. So much for the Cathy funeral I had planned. Happy?

Of course you aren’t happy, you never are. “I’m eating too much chocolate… My cat keeps me up at night… Irving’s mother is overbearing… I can’t find my keys… Aack this… Aack that!”

You know, on second thought, who needs you and your problems? I have enough to deal with, lady!

Who am I kidding? I take one look at you in that robe and I fall right back in love with you. You melt my heart faster than a box of chocolates accidentally left in the car. Goodbye sweet sweet Cathy, I will see you in my dreams (my wet dreams).

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18 comments so far

18 comments to “Cathy is ending! AAAAAACK!”

  1. saraon 13 Aug 2010 at 8:02 am

    Cathy has a dog…the dog’s name is Electra. Get your Cathy facts right.
    ::Dusts the shoulders off her heart sweatshirt::

  2. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2010 at 8:22 am

    Sara – No wonder Cathy chose Irving over me, I never listen! But seriously, how could Cathy not be a cat person? She’s a perfect candidate!

  3. Paul from Saint Paulon 13 Aug 2010 at 8:44 am

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbCT5fXdhhc

    Cathy is ending. I am happy to write a final strip in which she is finally married and meets a very untimely end. (NO SPOILERS!) Then you can hold the funeral of your dreams. I’ll be there if you stock the bar well.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2010 at 8:48 am

    Paul – I’m begging you to please do this for me!

  5. Jeffon 13 Aug 2010 at 9:06 am

    It is too late now to retrieve
    A fallen dream, too late to grieve
    A name unmade, but not too late
    To thank the gods for what is great

    We thank you, Cathy Guisewite, for ‘Cathy’. Our lives have been immeasurably changed by your gift.

  6. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2010 at 9:09 am

    Jeff – That was beautiful. Are you trying to make me cry?

  7. Jonathanon 13 Aug 2010 at 10:31 am

    I never knew there was a Cathy cartoon! I watched seven seconds of it and now my dingus won’t work. Thanks, Listy!

    I do miss that spinning CBS “SPECIAL” graphic, though. My other favorite opening graphic was HBO’s:
    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7TU94w1twc

  8. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2010 at 10:38 am

    The best thing about the HBO opener is that it’s not CGI!

    httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Et_LsxlX8Y

  9. Paul from Saint Paulon 13 Aug 2010 at 11:44 am

    I love that HBO even created a theme song to go with the making of the film intro. I remember when my friends first got HBO and we’d watch any piece of shit, but with the lights off, the intro made it feel like an “event.” Swirling harps and swooping through the city into space where the HBO monolith spins to the crescendo of horns. It really did “tease and tantalize the eye.”

    “We put a few bums on the street. A few hookers on the corner…to break the monotony of spending three months building this thing.” They knew how to make work fun.

    I miss these days. Godzilla’s rampages were far more cathartic since you knew actual objects were being crushed and set on fire.

    Who knew the HBO intro was so monumental? That “making of” mini-documentary was great.

  10. Tommyon 13 Aug 2010 at 12:05 pm

    When I used to get the newspaper I would read Cathy every day. I would always get angry at how unfunny and horrible it was to the point that it put me in a bad mood. She will be missed.

  11. Paul from Saint Paulon 13 Aug 2010 at 12:19 pm

    Your life so troubled, so it is writ,
    Into that dress you could never fit,
    Now in heavens way on high,
    You slip into couture and simply sigh,
    In no more changing rooms to wriggle and moan,
    Your figure, now angelic, so svelte, and what tone!
    No worries of marriage and chocolate and dates,
    In God’s kingdom, you eat Hersheys, by piles and by plates!
    Suitors come courting, it matters not who,
    They ring at your door to see only you.
    Your paradisaical apartment never a mess,
    Your mother could say not a word, she’d confess!
    Cathy we mourn you, your woes always shared,
    We gather today, to show how greatly we cared.
    Without our dear Cathy, our world: bitter, bleak, black,
    We open the funnies, your absence profound, we utter but:
    AAAACK!

    Everyone will be expected to do a reading at the service. Mine will be much better after nearly a case of Huber.

  12. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2010 at 12:25 pm

    I am speechless.

  13. Kathyon 13 Aug 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Listy – I’m a little worried that the gig is up. You know waaaay too much about that strip. What’s next, you’re going to tell us you secretly watch the Lifetime Movie Network in which all the women are done wrong by lyin’, cheatin’, murderous men until they find the equivalent of Mr. Rogers on steroids?

  14. You Just Made My List!on 13 Aug 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Kathy – Um… I um… I’m going to go drink beer and shoot some guns while listening to Metallica shirtless (possibly nude).

  15. Kathyon 13 Aug 2010 at 7:22 pm

    Ahhh, you got your testosterone back. Whew…

  16. Patrickon 14 Aug 2010 at 3:54 am

    you just made my list I am a big fan of this blog for about 8 months now. I check it out about 3-16 times a day. I liked you because of what you rant about but I also found out your from Chicago. I am also from Chicago and I feel your like for this Cathy subject is very hipster like… I am not calling you a hipster but please explain yourself why you would like this mess?

  17. You Just Made My List!on 15 Aug 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Patrick – Come on, really?

  18. eddkatzon 19 Aug 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Cathy, estrogen?
    Hubby needs a Viagra
    Door knob hits her ass.

    ———-

    I think the only reason Listy know so much about Cathy is that he, like I, probably had to endure a “cathy b-day card” with that greasy red lipstick imprint on the inside.

    The message in it, professing eternal love, X’s and O’s and that fucking “I” in I Love You, topped off with that puffy heart?

    You find it while moving stuff to your girlfriend’s place. you are in the garage when you find it and stop to remember the face she made while she was having an orgasm? Your GF walks in and catches you….

    Even the Most Interesting Man In the World does not has an answer to the wrath that you will face when “Mandy” sees the lipstick.

    “What is that?”

    She grabs it out of your hand and…

    If it has the date of your b-day back in 1992?

    You are safe.

    If not?