Sep 10 2008
Have you ever witnessed something so insanely stupid that you were convinced the government was doing an experiment on you? All you can do is cringe and look for the hidden cameras. This happens to me about once a day.
While at the muffler shop I overheard a discussion between two mechanics that made me want to grab an acetylene torch and weld my ears closed. “Hotel California” by the Eagles was playing over the shitty shop radio and mechanic #1 was about to pee his pants with excitement. You see, mechanic #1 had some sort of inside secret about this song that he could not wait to share with mechanic #2. Luckily for me, I was able to eavesdrop while pretending to read a copy of People magazine from 2005 – did you know Paris and Nicole’s friendship is on the rocks?
Mechanic #1 “Dude, do you know what this song is really about?”
Mechanic #2 “Hotels?”
Mechanic #1 “No. Dude, it’s about heart surgery.”
Mechanic #2 “Huh? I’m pretty sure it’s about a hotel in California, the cover of the album has a hotel…”
Mechanic #1 “SILENCE! It is about surgeons operating on a dude with heart cancer. Just listen.”
Mechanic #1 proceeded to present his flawless theory like this…
“Mirrors on the ceiling” = operating room
“The pink champagne on ice” = blood
“And she said ’we are all just prisoners here, of our own device” = ?
“And in the master’s chambers” = still the operating room
“They gathered for the feast” = gathering for surgery
“They stab it with their steely knives” = heart cancer surgery
“But they just can’t kill the beast” = dude, you can’t kill cancer
Surprisingly, or maybe not, mechanic #2 seemed to agree with this this guy and was kind of having an “ah ha” moment like how could he have been so stupid to miss the real meaning of the song all the years. I guess, like mechanic #1, he had forgotten about the other 95% of the lyrics.
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