Sep 20 2010

Mens sports-themed barbershops!

Published by at 3:52 am under I Don't Get It

mens sports barbershop sportclips

I like sports as much as the next guy* but come on bros, give your sports boner a rest for 5 minutes.

We get it, you’re a dude, you’re a man, you like beer and you pee standing up. In fact you are such a man that you usually just pee on the floor while crushing a beer can on your forehead. Jeeze, are these guys really so insecure about looking “gay” that they have to get their hair cut at a Hooters?

Plus, have you seen these places? I think they are decorated by the person who did the set decoration for “Saved by the Bell.” You know how the hallways of Bayside were always plastered with crooked posters that said things like “Football Game Tonight” or “School Dance,” well it’s the same, cartoonish atmosphere in these man-a-toriums. SportClips is to sports what The Peach Pit was to diners.

You know how I know you are gay? You get your hair cut at SportClips.

*This is a totally false statement. I guarantee that I like sports much less than the next guy, unless that guy is Austin Scarlett.

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18 comments so far

18 comments to “Mens sports-themed barbershops!”

  1. kenon 20 Sep 2010 at 4:29 am

    I’m genuinely surprised that this place doesn’t offer face-painting on its menu of services, it’s totally the same demographic. I love sports Listy, ten times more than you and I don’t get these places. At all.

  2. Jim Joneson 20 Sep 2010 at 5:47 am

    What is happening to our society? I mean when I was a kid you could find a real barber shop on nearly every corner! By real barber shop I mean the candy striped pole, a shoe shine chair and a barber that would bullshit while he cut your hair and entertained you with stories of his military career… A barber shop where the barber would threaten to shoot you if you even joked about not paying him the $5 for the haircut!

  3. Peteon 20 Sep 2010 at 7:28 am

    Those two dudes in the chair probably sucked each other off after their cuts, then high-fived one another.

  4. You Just Made My List!on 20 Sep 2010 at 8:51 am

    Jim – As a kid I got my hair cut at a real barbershop by men who barely knew how to cut hair. I would always leave with a cut on my neck or ear and it was perfect.

    Pete – I’m sure they were high-fiving DURING the suck off.

  5. Erinon 20 Sep 2010 at 10:02 am

    Wow… I am so glad that this phenomenon has not caught on yet in my area. My husband went to a “real” barber shop call Bernsides Barber Shop until we moved from that area. Now he just goes to the basment with his clippers and shaves his head. He tried Supercuts once and came home with the front of his hair gelled up like he was from Jersey Shore… I found him rocking in the corner crying when I got home.

  6. Kathyon 20 Sep 2010 at 10:14 am

    You totally forgot to mention the boob-themed barbershops. The one here is Knockouts ( http://www.knockouts.net/index.php ), and I got a peek inside about a year & a half ago: http://reinventingaboomer.blogspot.com/2009/04/was-that-best-hair-cut-ever-or-what.html

    And what’s the deal with Axe, the soap du jour of every young male on the planet?

  7. yevon 20 Sep 2010 at 11:21 am

    Speaking of sports, you should write a rant about these things: http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/ I’ve seen people wearing these… in public. And they always have this defiant, “Yeah, I’m wearing these, bitch” look on their face.

  8. Jeffon 20 Sep 2010 at 11:48 am

    That’s like a SkyMall picture; everyone is happy and nothing is out of place. Man, I miss America.

  9. Tommyon 20 Sep 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Thanks for blowing the lid off of this den of homo-eroticism for us lister.

  10. Hughon 20 Sep 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Just when I thought the world couldn’t get worse, Listy offers this horrible revelation. Thankfully I’ve not seen any Hooters- or sports-themed barbershops appear near me, else I just might be forced to resort to arson.

    That photo makes me cringe. First, those chairs are way too close to each other– those two clowns are practically rubbing knees. Who the hell wants to sit that close to another customer at a barber shop? Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I prefer my haircut to be an experience between me and the person cutting my hair.

    Good call on the Saved By The Bell deco. I can totally see Zack and Slater sitting knee-to-knee getting their hair done before the big dance.

    And call me sexist if you like, but if I’m going to a barber shop I expect a barber– preferably a guy in his 50s or so with the name ‘Bud’ or ‘Tom’ or something similar. Who kidnapped the real barbers and replaced them with these Barbizon cosmetology school? And what’s with the stupid grins? They look like imbeciles.

  11. Hughon 20 Sep 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Should have read ‘Barbizon cosmetology school grads.’ Damn this phone keyboard and its over-zealous backspace key.

  12. pigdooron 20 Sep 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Listy! What were you doing watching, Saved by the bell?? I’m not exactly sure how old you are but I’m pretty sure you were not a kid when that show was popular…I imagine you are probably pretty up to date on, I Carley. Could you fill me in on the last episode?…sports suck especially football wich is mostly a bunch of middle aged guys in head sets, standing around chewing gum. I’m not sure if these sports themed barber shops ACTUALLY exist, but if they do I have to agree, they are a bad thing.

  13. kenon 20 Sep 2010 at 3:16 pm

    A TRUE barber has combs in that blue Barbicide fluid, has a stripey pole outside and finishes it off with a hot foam shave of the back of your neck, preferably with a straight razor.

  14. Yours Trulyon 20 Sep 2010 at 4:31 pm

    I don’t get my hair cut at all. I just let it grow and grow until I hit middle age and it all falls out. Real men let nature (e.g. aging, poor genetics, radiation) cut their hair for them.

  15. You Just Made My List!on 20 Sep 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Kathy – Knockouts? Wow. At least Brandon had a smashing time!

    Yev – Yes, I hate those toe shoes!

    Pigdoor – I have watched “Saved by the Bell” from age 25 to present.

  16. pigdooron 20 Sep 2010 at 5:59 pm

    From now on Listy i’m gonna refer to you as- The Diaper Dude

  17. pigdooron 21 Sep 2010 at 10:38 am

    Whats the hold up Diaper Dude??

  18. You Just Made My List!on 21 Sep 2010 at 5:35 pm

    I have no idea what the fuck the Diaper Dude is or why I’m the Diaper Dude.