Sep 22 2010
You squeeze. You smash. You stomp. You use a hammer, but still you can’t manage the simple task of applying toothpaste to your brush!
There has got to be a less-reasonable way!
Your pathetic dumb ass is in luck. Introducing Touch-N-Brush, the magic toothpaste machine that does all the work while you do nothing more complicated than sticking something into something. It’s so easy even an idiot like you can get the hang of it after only 30 or 40 tries.
Thanks to your new toothpaste robot, you will never have to clean the bathroom again! Sticky bathroom sinks are a thing of the past, unless you have a teenage son, because I promise you that kid is jerking off in that sink at least twice a week. Probably the kitchen sink too. What is wrong with that kid?
Did your husband throw you down the stairs for walking in front of the TV during Monday Night Football? No problem pretty lady, you can still use Touch-N-Brush with only one arm. One fucking arm! Can you fucking believe that shit?
Are your kids also too stupid to operate toothpaste? Fuck ’em, who cares about those little shits. If it wasn’t for them you would probably be the world’s most awesome and cool and most richest rock star. Those kids stole your dream, Steve, so let their little mouths bleed.
“But what if I accidentally put rat poison in my Touch-N-Brush, will the dang thing kill me and my family?” Yes, yes it will.
You might also hate...
15 comments to “Touch-N-Brush!”