Oct 13 2010

Realistic baby dolls!

Published by at 3:13 am under Why?!?

scary creepy realistic baby dolls

realistic baby dolls

Oh boy, I’m ready for the hate mail to pour in on this one. “You’re a jerk and you live in your mom’s basement and these dolls are beautiful and you’re just jealous that nobody ever loved you, I hope you never have kids, blah blah blah.” There I just saved you all that time.

I’m forced to write this while sitting on the toilet because it’s impossible to look at these creepy dolls without shitting at least a tiny bit. I should have warned you! I’m sorry you now have poop-filled pants.

OK, this shit is fucked up! First of all, these dolls are referred to as “Reborn Babies” and there’s a whole subculture of insane psychopaths buying and making these creepy plastic monsters. The process of making a realistic baby doll is known as “reborning” or “newborning” and it usually takes place in the darkest corner of Hell. Even Satan is like “Um… yeah, I’m going to go see what Hitler and Dahmer are up to for a few hours while you gals finish up… um… whatever it is exactly that… uh, you’re doing over there.” Then the great beast slowly backs out of the room timidly.

At least that’s how I imagine it.


Be Sociable, Share!

28 comments so far

28 comments to “Realistic baby dolls!”

  1. 8bitheroon 13 Oct 2010 at 5:11 am

    I’d imagine the women that buy these also have a small army of cats at the ready.

  2. Jim Joneson 13 Oct 2010 at 6:31 am

    That is just some creepy shit!

  3. Kathyon 13 Oct 2010 at 7:35 am

    If a child popped out of my loins looking like that first picture, I would voluntarily sign up for immediate sterilization so as not to further traumatize an unsuspecting world.

    Why did they make the babies ugly? Oh right, newborns usually ARE ugly. My bad.

  4. saraon 13 Oct 2010 at 8:33 am

    Thanks alot listy now I just pooped a little.

    The one up top kinda looks like a little baby John Kruk.

    We used to do a tour to this place up in New York that makes those abominations. To buy one you have to fill out a birth certificate and pick one from the “nursury” where they are each placed in their own cribs, you point at the little turd you want through the window and the “nurse” brings it to you… And yet women who fake pregnant are called mentaly ill.

  5. Xinaon 13 Oct 2010 at 9:05 am

    A few years ago my mom had a yard sale. While I was helping her I watching in horror as a woman pushed a stroller to the clothing rack and tried baby clothes on her “child”. So not only have I seen these things before I’ve held one. They’re even creepier up close. They’re heavy and soft and lightly powder sented. This woman seemed normal enough from a distance but up close she had those eyes that can’t quite focus and a smile that just came off as obscene in an adult.

  6. kenon 13 Oct 2010 at 9:36 am

    As the parent of an eighteen-month-old, I feel qualified to say those are just slightly less creepy than real dolls, which is to say these faux children are super creepy.

    Speaking of Real Dolls, there’s a semi-regular at the Brookfield Zoo who brings his Real Doll, in a wheelchair, to the Zoo and buys her stuffed animals. Wonder if he pays admission for ‘her’?

  7. calebon 13 Oct 2010 at 9:36 am

    maybe next they’ll make baby Oswalt dolls…


  8. Sarah in Minneapolis; a tributeon 13 Oct 2010 at 10:18 am

    That’s horrific. It’s bad enough for somebody to decide that baking baby heads in their oven is a good hobby, but that second chick? Good lord. Holding and patting a doll to calm yourself…just sit and rock in the corner lady. Have some dignity.

  9. Tommyon 13 Oct 2010 at 12:04 pm

    That’s right Kathy, 100% of babies are ugly and only about 10% ever turn it around.

  10. Erinon 13 Oct 2010 at 2:28 pm

    Wow… yet another creepy subculture to fret about! Did anyone notice the doll in the second photo looks like it is a strung out drunk who has been on a binge for a few days? Crossed eyes and all. You can almost smell the metabolizing alcohol.

  11. wackeyasson 13 Oct 2010 at 3:11 pm

    As soon as I saw this it reminded me of the Ron Mueck art exhibition I saw a few years ago where there was a giant life like baby. Scared the sweet bejesus out of me. Just pictrure one of these little alien bastards at 100 times the sizes. Now if that doesn’t make you drop a poop nugget then I don’t know what would.

  12. rachelon 13 Oct 2010 at 4:16 pm

    barf. barf. barf.

    as a mother with *real* children, i could only get about 45 seconds into that video. listy- i do hope that 1. you DO have children someday (if that is what you want)
    and 2. that they are REAL, ’cause you would make one hilarious dad.

    PS both of my kids were effing cute fresh out o’ the womb!

  13. kiddaon 13 Oct 2010 at 5:08 pm

    Are those photo’s adverts for pro choice?

  14. Ericaon 13 Oct 2010 at 8:11 pm

    OK…newborns are not exactly *pretty* but when they are your children, believe me they are awesome! And I agree with Rachel…LISTY – have a kid, you would be an awesome funny dad! 🙂

    Those things you pictured above are not even semi-close representations of a human newborn. They look like cabbage patch dolls that were melted in a fire. These woman are bat shit crazy and when you watch the whole documentary from the BBC you realize how sad their lives are…not to mention their poor husbands who have to live with these fucking abhorrent dolls in their house!

  15. Jessicaon 13 Oct 2010 at 8:49 pm

    These remind me of a story out of Mokena, IL last year. Let me see if I can pull up a page.

    Here we go!

    When this hit the newsstands, I thought it was really funny. Mostly because I live in the next town over, but still.

  16. elgation 14 Oct 2010 at 12:06 am

    This shit is creepy, but I’m not talking about the dolls…
    I’m talking about the adults! >_<'

  17. BlackCanary007on 16 Oct 2010 at 3:15 pm

    God in heaven please help us! First those “reborn” babies are damn terrifying. They remind me of that freaking wall crawling baby from the movie Trainspotting! They creep me out and now thanks to that youtube clip I am going to be having nightmares for the next few nights. I would not want one of those things in my house!

  18. 2angie2on 27 Oct 2010 at 11:26 am

    WOW!!!!!!! i think these arent that bad. I know someone who has one and it is really nice. She cant have kids so its a good resort. in my opinion they are adorable and personally i want one. I think u guys are comparing them beeing made to a real baby. Its plastic and doesnt matter if its put in the oven or not. i love these creations!

  19. Moguyon 11 Dec 2010 at 7:30 am

    They could make a emo Baby

  20. You Just Made My List!on 11 Dec 2010 at 10:23 am

    Moguy – When I first read this I thought you said an “Elmo baby” and I was totally confused.

  21. Judymaeon 03 Feb 2011 at 7:55 am

    Hi I am a reborn artist and they are no more creepier than any other object someone might collect. Such as Boyd bears or a man with a room filled with stuffed real animals (now that one creeps me out) but we tend to collect what we love and most people only collect these a few get them for their therapeutic purposes and some for replacement to fill a void which still is therapeutic. There is and always will be those that do things just to get attention weather it be 100 tatoo’s or piercing or whatever. I find it no stranger than a man who polishes his Harley all the time and has to put more chrome on it because it is a prestige thing or something and has to cover it at night plus it cost him $30,000. to feel good about himself. I have taken these to nursing homes and seen them trigger memory in dementia patients or calm the down syndrome teen., put tears in the eyes of a woman who can’t have a baby and feels the need to hold one and rock. Don’t be so quick to judge there is enough of that going on in this world today. This don’t hurt anyone and you never know the reason they feel the need. Usually it’s just a love of babies which as children is instilled in us when we get older the feeling is still there it don’t go away but you men still have your trucks and tools you were taught to love. Also there is an art to making them look real so if nothing else look at from the artistic point. I don’t care for some art but that don’t mean it isn’t art to others.
    Your vulgar language well no real child should hear that so maybe you should stick to a reborn.

  22. You Just Made My List!on 03 Feb 2011 at 8:56 am

    Judy – WOW! Your explanation of “reborn” babies made the whole hobby seem even MORE insane! Filling the void of a real human with a plastic one is twisted. Making old people and women who have lost babies cry from holding a melted pretend baby is crazy. CRAZY!

    Comparing a person who is a motorcycle enthusiast to a DELUSIONAL adult who finds comfort in a pretend baby is ridiculous. I’m sorry, but if you want to make a comparison to your hobby it would be more like those lonely Japanese guys who marry their sex pillow. It’s exactly the same, you just can’t see the creepy forest for the creepy trees.

    As far as my ability to be around children… This website is an ADULT forum and I talk like an actual ADULT. I am awesome with children and kids love me. In fact, I would never let my kids around someone like YOU. You obviously have some issues that need to be worked though.

    Grow up.

  23. katieon 06 Mar 2011 at 4:03 am

    why don’t you sell hole babys and you dont have to put them together

  24. You Just Made My List!on 06 Mar 2011 at 8:58 am

    Katie – I hope you were drunk when you wrote that.

  25. brittanyon 11 Sep 2011 at 11:51 am

    wow i love that!im not a hater i have specail need family and most are doms!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Reborn divaon 12 Sep 2012 at 11:05 am

    you lot shut your mouth they are not creppy at all they are just a hobby who likes babies and toys grow up a holes

  27. You Just Made My List!on 12 Sep 2012 at 2:11 pm

    What a beautiful command of the English language you possess. I wish someone could explain this new trend of not using any basic rules of grammar when writing. Is it really so hard to hit the shift key and add some punctuation?

    I sincerely mean this, and it has nothing to do with dolls, you are a fucking idiot.

  28. Terrion 15 May 2013 at 5:56 pm

    I think it’s cool & wish I could get one. You wanna talk creepy~how ’bout those little girl pageants where they dress the poor little girls up to look like hookers & then judge them! Those are adults we really need to look at.