Sep 16 2008
Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Let me quickly explain what “Baby’s First Headgear” is before you think I’m ragging on kids who actually NEED helmets for various legitimate reasons. This ridiculous piece of shit is for normal, healthy babies who are simply learning to walk. HUH?
My friend who brought this crime against baby humanity to my attention told me she has even seen kids wearing fucking knee pads while learning to walk. WHAT? Have we all gone insane? No wonder there are people in this country who think Sarah Palin is “spunky and fun.”
Listen, I understand that babies can get hurt, even seriously, from a fall but come on, helmets for healthy babies? Kids get hurt. Kids eat dirt. Kids touch things that are hot. Guess what, all that stuff is good for them. You know how I learned to NOT touch the stove? By touching the stove, once.
When I grew up in the 70s daily life was like running through a maze of knives and fire. My grade school’s playground equipment was tall, metal and sat on top of nice hard cement. Like most kids in my school I broke a bone when I tumbled to the concrete at recess. I spent most of my childhood falling from trees, crashing my bike, getting fishing hooks stuck in my face and most summer days I could be found with at least one of my body parts on fire. AHHHH, the good old days. I’m not kidding, it was fucking awesome. I also learned how to deal with stuff because my parents never made a big deal out of anything.
I’m sorry but helmets for healthy babies are ri-fucking-diculous. Life is dangerous and to be alive means to occasionally get hurt, babies included.
I need to punch something. Not a baby.
*Update: This ought to make all you helmet parents pass out…
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